Your brain is holding you captive: Why you're stuck in old stories (+ how to break free from them)
Today we’re going to talk about that one and a half kilos of gray matter between your ears. Yes, your brain. And specifically about how that brain—often without you even realizing it—keeps you completely trapped in stories that are long past their prime.
You know the drill. You wake up, the sun is shining, you're looking forward to the day. You feel good, you've been listening to a shatterproof podcast and that bright smile is on your face. And then ... boom.
Twelve seconds later, something small happens. An email, a glance from a neighbor, or a thought about yesterday. And just like that, your good mood is gone . Suddenly, you’re back in that old insecurity, that irritation, or that feeling of “is this really it?”
How can that be? Why does your brain keep pulling you back into that mudhole? Today I explain to you exactly why your brain is a repeater and how you can finally override that antiquated software.
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The biology of lazy thunder
Let's look at biology first, because that's where the trouble starts. Your brain weighs about one and a half pounds. That's only 2% of your total body weight. But consider this: that tiny clump of cells consumes a whopping 20% of all your energy[1]. That's a bizarre amount!
Because your brain is such a huge bulk consumer, nature has come up with a trick: energy conservation. Learning something new, walking a new path or changing your behavior takes tons of energy. Your brain then has to physically make new connections. That's like cutting a path through a dense jungle with a blunt knife. That sweats, that hurts, that costs fuel.
But repeating an old story? That's like driving down a paved six-lane highway. It costs next to nothing. And that's why your brain, that lazy bugger, always chooses the path of least resistance. In fact, research shows that people prefer to choose courses where they expect to have to think as little as possible[2].
Your brain couldn’t care less about your happiness or your success. It cares only about survival and conserving energy. So if that old story of “I’m not good enough” or “I always have to be careful” proved safe in the past (because you’re still alive, right?), your brain will keep repeating it forever. Simply because it costs fewer calories.
The logic levels: Why the gym doesn't always help
To understand why change is so difficult, we need to look at Bateson's so-called logical levels. There is a hierarchy in how we function as humans. Let's go through them from the outside in:
- Environment: Where are you? Who are you with?
- Behavior: Specifically, what are you doing?
- Capacities: What can you do? What are your skills?
- Values and Beliefs: Why do you do what you do? What do you believe about yourself?
- Identity: Who are you? What role do you play?
- Mission: Who or what are you doing it for? The bigger picture.
Many people try to change by tinkering with the outside. Imagine this: you feel insecure and decide to go to the gym. You change your environment (the gym), your behavior (you start lifting weights), and you develop new abilities (you get stronger). After a while, you look physically different, and you feel like “the man” at the gym. Your identity at that level has shifted to: “I am an athlete.”
But here’s the catch, ladies and gentlemen: that old story hasn’t gone away. It hasn’t been overwritten; a new one has simply been placed right next to it. As soon as you walk out of that gym and find yourself in an environment that resembles the past (for example, your parents’ house or a meeting with a domineering boss), you instantly slip right back into that little, bullied boy or that insecure girl. Even if you now have muscles stretching from here to Tokyo, on the inside that old software is still running at full speed. Your brain recognizes the context and immediately switches back to the energy-efficient, old program.
You'll be running on Windows 95 (in 2026 (or beyond)!)
I myself am 50 years old at the time of telling this. Born in 1975. That means my main "software" was installed between 1975 and 1980. That is the so-called imprint period. In those first five years, you are a sponge. You don't have a critical mind yet. Everything your parents said, everything your teachers did and everything you picked up from your environment went straight into your unconscious as absolute truth.
Just think about it: in 2026, we’re trying to lead modern lives, run a business, or maintain a relationship while running on software from 1980! It’s like trying to use Skype on a computer running Windows 95. It’s going to be rough. It’s going to clash. It’ll give you blue screens in your head.
And then what happens? Then you become such an "acid mat." You start complaining about youth, about modern times, about how everything used to be better. But actually you complain about the fact that your internal operating system no longer understands today's world. You still want Madonna and Michael Jackson, when the world has long been somewhere else. And there is little you can do about that at will. It's simply the code running in the background.
How do you escape the code?
Okay Edwin, nice story, but how do we get rid of it? There are really only two ways to really overwrite those old stories.
Way 1: The way of the long haul (Repetition)
The first way is: do, do, do, do, and do it again. Science says it takes an average of 66 days for a new behavior to truly carve out a new path in your brain[3]. Every day, head back into that jungle with your machete. Every day, tell yourself that new story and act on it.
It's intense. It takes tons of energy and you need iron discipline. Because we all know: on a rainy Monday when you've slept badly, your willpower battery is empty. And that's when that old, low-energy program always wins out. That's why most good intentions fail even before the second week of January.
Way 2: The Highway (hypnosis)
And then there’s the method I’m, of course, a huge fan of: hypnosis. Why does it work so ridiculously well? Because we simply put the “critical mind”—the gatekeeper that says “I can’t do this” or “this is nonsense”—on hold for a moment.
In your daily state, you produce Beta brain waves. This is the state of analysis and logic. But in hypnosis, we descend to Alpha and Beta waves[4]. These are the same waves you have when you daydream or right before you fall asleep. In that state, the back door of your unconscious is wide open.
In that state, we can modify the code while the computer is still on. We don't have to struggle for 66 days; we simply install the update. We remove the script "I am not good enough" and we put "I am powerful and capable" in its place. Because the unconscious doesn't know the difference between reality and a vivid suggestion, it accepts that new software immediately. And suddenly that new behavior doesn't cost energy; it produces energy.
My advice for the next generation
Before I wrap up, one more thing. I always recommend enrolling children in a martial art. And by that, I mean Eastern martial arts such as karate, judo, or Brazilian jiu-jitsu. Why? Because they place a huge emphasis on discipline and respect.
When a child learns at a young age that they can defend themselves, but that they also have the discipline to use that power masterfully[5], you create an identity of self-confidence. That's a story they take with them their whole life. Then they don't have to come to me at 40 to hypnotize that old insecurity away. Prevention is better than cure, ladies and gentlemen.
Don't become a victim of your own machine
Your brain is a wonderful machine, but if you don't program it yourself, your past will do it for you. Don't get stuck in those old stories from 1980. Don't become an acid mat stuck in Windows 95.
You have a choice. You can take on the 66 days of struggle, or you can use the power of your own unconscious through hypnosis to make that update today. But do something. Because if you do nothing, the repeater will just keep playing the same song until the battery runs out.
Learning hypnosis to change programs
Do you want to free yourself and others from the limitations of their minds? Then knowledge of hypnosis is incredibly useful—come join the free online masterclass for an introduction.
Or register directly for one of our events and trainings.
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