Life story: The story you tell yourself has a lot of influence
Life story: The story you tell yourself has a lot of influence
July 27, 2020
6 min reading time

Life story: The story you tell yourself has a lot of influence

What story do you tell yourself, this is kind of interesting. Who are you? What do you do? What do you care about? What do you believe? Things like that. That then makes who you are and you have knitted a story around that. For example, my name is Edwin, I was given that name and I knitted a story around it

Edwin is a particular person. Reacts in certain ways, believes this and that. Believes this is important and believes that is important

The beginning of your life story is written by others

So there are stories you have told yourself or they have been told to you. This is how it all begins.

"Oh how nice you look" is something mostly told to girls. "How beautiful you look again, really a princess," then the story is installed that you have to look good because then you will get a compliment.

If you don't get a compliment then you probably don't look good.

Things like this can result.

With guys, it's more often "Oh, show your muscle. You're getting stronger and stronger." So as a boy you have to be strong, because then you get compliments. So then you must be strong, but what does that mean?

Lots of muscle? Or just not showing your emotions?

So the story begins very young. You are a boy or a girl and that means this and this and this....

Then we are only talking about gender, not your village, city, country, environment or religion. There are lots of factors that contribute to the story you take in. This story you also repeat.

You write the rest of your life story yourself

This is fine if your story works, but now what if your story no longer works? If you think, "I think it's a shitty story and I don't feel like it at all."

Then it's a matter of creating a new story for yourself. This is not always without struggle. Nor without trial and error.

Stories are powerful tools, if you look at the past, information was transmitted with stories. The minstrel who came into a village who brought a story. There were lessons in this and values. What to look out for, what to do or not to do.

Then the troubadour who sang a song to go with it. All this to tell stories.

These went from village to village telling stories. That way, people were informed about what was going on in the world and thus taught about the more general issues.

A very old story, of course, is the Bible. Surely this is one of the oldest and most comprehensive storybooks. You have more of these writings, of course. The Bible contains many books of stories with lessons.

Some of the stories are dated, of course, because they are so old. But they are interesting. There are many lessons in them that we still use today. There are many proverbs that we take from the Bible. There are also many commandments and prohibitions that we still find important.

Most people, anyway. So you have more of those old standards and values.

Stories are incredibly powerful

Louis CK, a stand-up comedian once said, "I am an atheist. I don't believe in God, Jesus, Mohammed or Allah, yet they got me. Yet my birth is based on a faith I don't believe in."

He asked someone when they were born and out came a year. "How do you know it's 1971?"

That's counting from 0. But why from that date? Yes, because of the birth of Christ. Do you believe in it? No, so even if you don't believe that event took place you still have that year in your passport.

This is kind of interesting. So everyone has some kind of confirmation that you indirectly believe in the birth of Jesus. I suppose Chinese passports say quite a bit differently, but in the West we have this era.

The story of Jesus has such an impact that it's in your passport. Even your birthday you celebrate with the benchmark of the birth of Jesus.

This was a tremendous eye-opener for me about the power of stories.

Your life story and identity

Your own story is also very powerful. What you tell yourself all day long, there are many diamonds among them, you can also use those as a new birth of yourself. You then use that as a benchmark.

This is another interesting metaphor. You can die and rise again. Just like Jesus. The toddler in you died and out of that rose a boy or girl. That one died again and an adolescent rose and that adolescent died and a young woman or man rose from that, and so on.

In this you have died and risen each time.

Actually, you don't have to wait for some kind of stage. You can create it and decide for yourself. The story of Edwin the user, I no longer do that, I no longer tell myself that. Now it's Edwin the crossfitter. A new story I tell myself. I have been doing this for 1.5 years now and then I tell myself that all the time and I also tell it to others.

This has created a new story, with new standards and values. Because if you're a crossfitter, you have to do it. Then, of course, you have to act on it.

A new identity, a new story with new values. You can decide this right now. If you want to.

Are you done with your old story? Then you don't have to quit, just start a new story. Just like the new and old testaments.

Stories really are very powerful, think about that when you look at your passport.

Be sure to listen to this webinar as well:

https://www.buzzsprout.com/195236/1366516-welk-verhaal-vertel-jij-jezelf

Your life story and self-knowledge

For leadership roles, having self-knowledge is incredibly important. Self-knowledge can cause you to be authentic, which in turn often helps you to be a good leader.

Describing your life story helps tremendously in determining for yourself what you value and why. It helps you develop self-knowledge and substantiate which events in your life have been influential enough to create certain beliefs[1].

Interpreting someone else's life story

If you don't know me, you now know me as a crossfitter and successful entrepreneur, but I haven't always been. How do you think I came to this result? One of the reasons I'm so open about my life is so that you know that you, too, can determine anything.

Not a given.

For example, I used to be addicted to drugs. Chances are, people interpreted this as worthless and saw me as someone who would never amount to anything. Well, the people who thought that were pretty wrong.

Because you can indeed change your life story, as I did, and it can have extraordinary effects.

Sharing your life story can also help people who are also in a difficult situation, like you once were, become more confident[2].

So exposing yourself to not only yourself but the outside world from time to time can be very inspiring to those around you.

Starting a new chapter

But let's start with your own life story first, because it sounds so simple to just start your own second will, yet something may be blocking you from interpreting things differently. A hypnotist can then help you see that certain moments in your life were actually the beginning of your second will, of your next chapter, of your resurrection from the dead and your ascension.

One way to do this is by having a socratic conversation. With a socratic conversation, the why question or a variation of the question is repeated several times to get to the core of a belief.

Then you can even find out when that belief was formed.

You can also figure out discrepancies between feelings and events and see what actually makes sense or not. For example, a family dispute that just won't end despite your best intentions may mean that your life story has a new chapter, or even a second will.

Then you are faced with the choice of how to handle something without the influence of, say, family or that one job you got fired from. Or what your life looks like without narcotics, or without that dream partner. It could be anything.

Want to know exactly how hypnosis can help with this? Then come to a hypnosis playshop. These are held in Wormerveer and Zwolle.

During a seminar on hypnosis, you can also see a demonstration in which someone's life story is rewritten, or some other technique. In the process, you will also learn to hypnotize.

Or enroll directly in one of Hypnosis Institute Netherlands' training courses. Ideal for coaches and therapists. Training courses are held in Wormerveer, Zwolle and online.

[1] https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S1048984305000299

[2] https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/abs/10.1111/jopy.12253

About the author
Edwin Selij is owner and founder of Hypnose Instituut Nederland and provides training in Hypnosis. He is author of the books "You Don't Have It You Do It" and "Break Free!" and regularly appears on radio and TV to talk about hypnosis. He is the #1 Hypnosis Trainer in the Netherlands and has been giving hypnosis training for years. He was the first in the Netherlands to teach modern hypnotherapy via livestream.
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