Today I found something for you again, though. A topic that may take you a while to sniff out, but once you get it, it changes everything. We're going to talk about the question: Why on earth does your brain prefer being right to being happy?
It sounds a little cryptic, I know. But stay with me for a moment. Because when you understand why you do what you do, including the things that actually make you unhappy, only then can you take back control. Let's dive right in with a little test.
Watch the video here:
The sum of your life: 5 + 5 or 525 x 365?
Ladies and gentlemen, we're doing a little experiment. Don't worry, it won't hurt. How much is 5 + 5?
Exactly, you know right away. It pops up. 10. How much is 5 x 5?
Boom. 25. You don't even have to think about it.
But now for the next one: How much is 525 x 365?
What happens to you now? You don't know right away. Nor are you going to do the quick math as you read this. Why not? Because it takes energy[1]. And not just a little bit, either.
When you get really serious about calculating this sum, your heart rate goes up. Your breathing speeds up. Your pupils enlarge. Your brain has to work really hard. And you know what your brain then says? "No, never mind. No sense in it. Takes too much effort."
And this, ladies and gentlemen, is exactly why you would rather be right than happy.
System 1 and System 2: The lazy brain
The famous psychologist Daniel Kahneman described this fantastically in his book Thinking, Fast and Slow (or in Dutch: Ons feilbare denken). He talks about System 1 and System 2 thinking.
- System 1: This is your unconscious, intuitive thinking. It is lightning fast, it takes no energy and it responds on autopilot. This is the "$5 + 5 = $10" of your brain.
- System 2: This is your conscious, rational thinking. It's slow, it's logical, but it eats up tons of energy. This is the complicated math.
Most people live almost entirely from System 1. Why? Because it's nice and comfortable. It doesn't cost you any strength. The brain weighs about one and a half pounds, but it consumes the lion's share of all the energy you take in daily.
And since that energy is limited, your brain is programmed to be as energy efficient as possible. We are energy savers by nature.
In the old days, in prehistoric times, this made sense. You went hunting or gathering (spending energy) and then you went resting (conserving energy). Your brain still does that. And now what is the ultimate way to conserve energy? Making sure you're right all the time.
The Equal Trap: Why change hurts
Imagine, you have an opinion on a hot topic. Let's take abortion, or politics, or religion. Something everyone has an opinion on. Suppose you are firmly convinced that you are right. If I am now going to try to draw you to the other camp, will that make you happy?
No, of course not! You can already feel the resistance rising as I merely say this. Your brain doesn't want to make that switch[2]. Why not? Because changing an entrenched belief feels like that sum: 525 X 365. It takes a huge amount of mental energy to revise your worldview.
Your brain says, "I'd rather be right about my current (perhaps limiting) beliefs than go through the trouble of building a new 'happy' worldview." Maintaining your current opinion is your brain's "5 + 5." It doesn't cost anything. It just pops up. Even if that opinion gets in your way, it is "cheaper" for your brain to hold onto it.
Success Paradox: Scoring a 10, but feeling inadequate
I work a lot with successful entrepreneurs, and by successful I often mean financially successful. They have achieved their goals, the sales are in, the car is in front of the door. And yet they come to me because they have fallen into a black hole.
What do you often see? They have scored a 10 in one area of their life: their career. But because they've pumped all their energy into that, there are fat deficits in other areas.
- They got a fat body because they didn't have time for the gym.
- They have been through a divorce because they were always working.
- They no longer see their children.
Score a 10 everywhere? That's almost impossible. Scoring an 8 everywhere? It's possible, but that's hard work. Most of the time you sacrifice somewhere. You pay a price. And yet these people often keep doing what they're doing.
After all, their brain has installed the program, "Success = hard work and sacrifice."
Even if they are dead wrong in their personal life, their brain wants to be right. The program says this is the way, so they keep going down that path. They choose the "rightness" of their old program over the happiness of a balanced life.
Windows 95 in a 2026 world
Where do these programs come from? They were pounded into you in your early childhood. Your parents, your teachers, your environment ... they all put rules, values and beliefs into your unconscious. These have become automatic programs.
It is also in line with wanting to live consistently and in line with your "culture,"[3] that is, you once inherited it from home.
I say it often: A lot of people are walking around with Windows 95 in their heads, even though it is now 2026.
That program might have been useful when you were five. If you were afraid of an elevator back then because you got stuck once, that was a "safety program." Your brain said, "Elevator shaft = danger, so we avoid elevators." Super effective for keeping you safe!
But now you're an adult. You want that promotion on the 20th floor, or you just want to travel effortlessly. You know rationally (System 2) that an elevator is safe. But your unconscious (System 1) wants to be right: "No way, we agreed that elevators are scary. We're sticking to the program!"
Your brain is not there to make you happy. It's there to make you survive and conserve energy. And being right about an old fear program is safer for your brain than the risk of change.
The fear of the herd
There's another reason we get so stuck in our own right: the herd. We are social animals. In prehistoric times, exclusion from the group meant your death sentence. Alone in the forest, you didn't survive against a saber-toothed tiger.
This is why ostracism or exclusion is still our greatest fear. If you are part of a group (a religion, a political party, a group of friends) and you change your views, you run the risk of the group throwing you out.
Even if that group makes you unhappy, your brain will force you to stick with the group view. Your brain says, "Just keep finding the same thing as everyone else, at least we belong. That's safe." Again, that rightness over happiness.
The Shortcut: How do you upgrade?
Now you may be thinking, "Eddie, this sounds nice and depressing. Am I then doomed to keep walking around with this old software?" Of course not! Fortunately, everything can be changed. But the way you change it makes all the difference.
Many people try to change through System 2. They start talking about it, they start analyzing, they start reading books. That's the path of most resistance. That's that sum of 525x 365. It's painful, it takes a long time, and your "critical mind" is all the time shouting, "Ho stop! What are you going to do? This takes too much energy! We're right, remember?"
This is why I am such a fan of hypnosis.
With hypnosis, we bypass that critical mind. We go to the state you were in when you were a child: open, receptive and ready for suggestions. We don't make change a complicated sum, but we make it a "5 + 5" again.
Imagine me saying to you, "You want to get rid of that anxiety, you want to approach people more easily, you just want to feel good. Let's take care of that while you're nice and relaxed, shall we? Without effort, without struggle, just effortlessly?"
Your brain hears the words effortless, free, easy, simple. And then that lazy brain of ours thinks, "Oh, if it's effortless, I'm fine with it. Just do that upgrade!" That's the power of suggestion. We install a new program in the unconscious so that you "automatically" react differently after the session. You no longer have to fight your old right. You have simply been given a new right that does contribute to your happiness.
Time to upgrade
Ladies and gentlemen, it's 2026. It's time to throw out that Windows 95 software. You no longer have to hold on to beliefs that keep you small just because your brain is too lazy to calculate the sum.
You can choose happiness. You can choose a model of the world where you are in control, where you are free from old fears, and where you can be successful without paying the big price in your health or relationships.
Do you find this interesting? Want to know more about how these unconscious programs work and how to flip them?
- Then check out hypnosisinstituutnederland.nl for more info and training.
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And I'm very curious to hear your reaction: What old program in your head could use an upgrade right now? What do you run into where you find that your brain would rather be right than happy? Let me know in the comments, I read them all!
Have a specific question you'd like to see addressed in the podcast or blogs? Throw it in, too, and I'll include it in a future video.
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