Everyone often stands in judgment of other people. You've met someone, within 3 seconds you already decide if that person is okay or not. Or maybe something is said later in a conversation about which you have an opinion, or judgment. This judgment you give the other person also says something about you.

And sometimes it's helpful to be aware of what those judgments say about you. You sometimes hear something about people who are in your "allergy." You can't stand those characters at all, how they act and dress, everything is wrong. Many of these team coaches then tell you that these are often people you can learn something from, but then what? How to be incredibly irritating?

Everyone is sweet

If you like to assume the positive in people, this often means you are an accommodating person. You are pretty quick to like things; for example, you are not at all good at negotiating pay because you are pretty quick to say "yes."

You can often recognize this character trait by having a warm personality, being empathetic and friendly.

This does not mean that you are always positive towards everyone. For example, you may have a negative opinion of people, especially when they are selfish and cold, but you will not easily express that negative opinion.

Seeing the good in people is a useful trait. People with this trait are often happier and more satisfied with their relationships.

A problem may arise, however, if you notice a big difference in how you feel toward people and what you express. This can cause a lot of stress if the relationship is lost. It is then important to remember that sometimes true niceness is also sharing a negative opinion, maybe it will benefit the other person and at those times it is better for you too.

You are a narcissist if...

You totally can't stand subdued and humble people. If you can't stand narcissists, it doesn't mean you are a narcissist. On the contrary, narcissists are only slightly bothered by other narcissists.

On social media, narcissists actually like posts from other narcissists more. This is partly because you enjoy interacting with people who look like you.

It only becomes a different story when one narcissist competes with another narcissist, or when a narcissist sees competition in someone.

The first impression...

Is the only impression you need to follow an opinion about someone. In that case, you see people's behavior as something individual and something that comes from themselves, their behavior is then intrinsically motivated in your opinion .

While if the first impression is not the only impression you often have a better understanding of behavior that depends on the context in which something happens.

For example, a person who is grumpy may have a grumpy personality or may have experienced something just before meeting you that put them in a negative mood.

That could happen to anyone, right?

When you "just don't like" someone

Sometimes people don't do anything weird, but you just don't like them. In fact, it is not logically explained by the behavior the other person has shown.

Usually you then envy or feel threatened by their success.

It also often says something about your self-confidence, and thinking or acting negatively to more successful people is then a way (not a healthy one) to give yourself a brief boost.

You are critical of someone else's lifestyle

Who works too hard, who exercises too much, who moves too little, who eats too healthy, who eats too fat. Criticism of someone's lifestyle often indicates doubt about your own.

Am I not working hard enough?
Am I exercising too little?
Am I eating too unhealthy?
Am I eating too thin?

These are the questions you can also ask yourself when criticizing the way of life someone has.

What usually happens is when someone gets it right with that other lifestyle this can cause a strange feeling, because you may not think it makes sense. To eliminate this strange feeling, you are going to describe your own lifestyle as ideal.

For example, people in long-term relationships often find that couples have more to offer society than people who remain single forever and that couples have a more meaningful life.

None of this is true, of course, but it does show that your (pre)judgments say something about your own beliefs and outlook on life.

It's not just your relationship status that affects this, but also parenting, career choices and what diet you follow (hello vegans! 😉 )

So beware of celebrating mostly your life and not turning it into looking down on other people who live a different kind of life[1].

Reducing prejudice

Reducing bias, or social bias, is fortunately possible. For example, when researchers indicate to a certain group of people to be aware of a bias and to ignore it, it has a small effect on being able to ignore your biases.

So suggestions can have an impact even before you are in hypnosis. But it must be clearly named, so other biases that subjects may have that were not named remained intact[2].

Reduce lifestyle prejudices

Since it is not helpful to your environment to be seen as a snob who looks down on everything, it is helpful to eliminate your preconceptions about lifestyles and people with particular careers, or at least consider how logical it is.

For example, you don't know why someone became a cleaner or a cab driver instead of a manager.

Somewhere, those biases are created, often by beliefs you have about how the world works. In the case of lifestyle biases, you may have inherited them from childhood. You may have wanted to be a truck driver when you were little, but then your mom or dad may have told you that wasn't a good job or something else.

Because as a child you are often in the hypnotic state and take in everything well, such an event can then create a non logical belief.

After all, a truck driver can earn quite a lot, especially when driving internationally. Then you really do earn more than jan-modal. And driving 40 tons and 18 meters with hazardous materials is a very responsible job. Not everyone can do it.

So where do some of the prejudices come from?

This can be found out with regression. When you go to a hypnosis expert, they can apply the regression technique to you. Initially, you are put into hypnosis and then the hypnotist helps you get to the moment when the belief that created the prejudice occurred.

So these are often moments in childhood.

Because you looked at a moment then with your childhood knowledge and now with your adult knowledge, you can see, interpret the whole moment in a different way. This alone can change your beliefs and this then makes your bias go away.

That you see yourself back on an equal footing with other people.

Prejudices about people you just may not reduce

When someone is successful, you may feel that you are losing and that is an unhelpful belief.

Someone with success usually doesn't affect your success at all. So unless you are in a competition, it doesn't matter at all.

You can also be inspired by the success of others. After all, someone else's success shows what is possible, that it is possible, and therefore that it is possible for you.

Instead of being jealous, you can start the conversation and ask what that person is doing to achieve success.

You can figure out beliefs about success, for example, by asking the why question several times. Why don't you like that person? Why don't you like that person's ability to do that one thing well? Why shouldn't you be able to do it yourself?

Performing these types of techniques, possibly under hypnosis, gets you to the root of your problem fairly quickly.

In addition, affirmations, or hypnotic suggestions that you repeat, can help you install helping beliefs, as it were, as with:

"Another person's success is my inspiration."
"I am responsible for my own success."
"I don't have to reinvent the wheel myself," says Dr. K. K., "and I don't have to."

These are just examples. Depending on your beliefs about success, or those that create other biases, a hypnosis expert can help you with other affirmations.

Want to learn more about how hypnosis works and what you can do with it? Then come to the hypnosis playshop. These are given in Zwolle and Wormerveer.

Want to get started right away with techniques to help yourself and others? Then sign up for one of our training courses. These are given in Zwolle, Wormerveer and online.

[1] https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/in-love-and-war/202001/5-things-your-judgments-others-could-reveal-about-you

[2] https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1177/0146167218814003