Choosing love: is it even a choice?

You have two choices to make. Choosing fear or choosing love. Actually, it's very simple which you choose. If you choose fear, all you have to do is look around you. If you choose to attack someone or something you think you are defending yourself by doing so.

Love doesn't have to defend itself.

• If you think you need to attack, that's fear.
• If you think you ’re being attacked, that’s fear.
• If you think it's important to protect yourself, that's fear.

Actually, it's only fear that you see around you. So in that sense, you have already chosen.

But why on earth did you do that?

Often, this stems from viewing love as a source of fear. You may be afraid to feel love, to love others. Afraid of love in general. Afraid to see love in your brothers and sisters.

No matter the circumstances if you don't see love in or around you, you see fear.

That's not a bad thing, it is what it is.

But what is interesting is that it is not true.

Anxiety is sometimes referred to as FEAR: False Evidence Appearing Real.

I like that term.

Fear is not true. Everything you project is not true.

What is behind that is and that is love.

So for yourself, you can verify that you can choose fear or love, but with the idea that you have to choose you are already losing it.

Because you are already love, to begin with.

Seeing love in your fellow man is not a choice, you just see it.

Very small children also see that in everyone.

These do not yet know there is a choice. At some point, they are going to choose. Choosing who they are and what they are going to do. All kinds of choices come their way.

And suddenly you are in that world of choices and say there is either fear or love.

It's very likely that you see anxiety. That's what many people see around them.

Or so you see love in everything and then you see how it really is. But then you don't see many other things either.

Your projection determines what you see

Then you’ll see only the projection of who you are—and that is light and love.

You can be love and see this in everyone; don't you see this? Then you see fear.

Many people I also hear say that you need to protect your life or your home. That you have to lock your house because otherwise your house will be robbed.

So you can say, "Trust God, but do lock your bike."

The same is true when you are attached to your bike or possessions.

If you lock it because you just want it to be there when you get back, that's much nicer than locking your bike because you're afraid it will be stolen.

Love is also not logical or reasonable. In fact, reasoning is often done from anxious thoughts.

Research also shows that the brain is busy throughout the day assessing fearful situations and neutral situations. Certain activity in the brain also causes you to generalize[1]. You judge your neighbor in a certain way and then everyone who looks like your neighbor is the same in your mind.

Love does not condemn, including about love.

Surely we often have love wrapped in fear. Because you love your fellow man, but he shouldn't cut you off, insult you or do something you don't like.

If someone does, I tend to get offended back. That's all fear. You're doing this to get your grams, which then feels important, but in the end it's not important at all.

Because the offense is my perception about it. That is fear and the next fearful reaction is that I have to defend myself. I've got to get my grams.

I do all of this myself.

So I often find it funny when I read or hear something offensive.

But how do you do this in everyday life?

Every time you have an attack thought, tend to defend yourself, think something is not right, be aware that this is fear.

Then you often find this very strange. Fear? But that feeling makes you realize it's not fear.

It's Right Love.

Anger and frustration, it's all fear. Fear that you are being shortchanged, that you are not good enough, fear that someone will get away with something. It's not.

Then you may have to remind yourself a hundred times a day.

So should I.

I sometimes struggle with hatred. Can I view that as love? That’s a work in progress.

It's liberating when you can embrace that love, though. Then you break free from struggle and anger.

Realizing that everything has been given to you makes it easier to let go.

If someone else is more successful, you can see that as something you can do too.

Or, on the contrary, you can be happy not to play a certain role. Like the role of nag.

You have to give them credit for that, too.

Basically, there are no choices. If you think I have to do this or do that, that's fear.

You are love. That's what you are when you don't make a choice.

Ask yourself, "What would love do? What would your real self do?"

Nothing at all.

But your inner self feels it ’s important to do something. To get something done.

But life happens anyway. Everything comes whether you do something about it or not. Whether you choose to or not.

Just feel what it feels like not to choose. It is very liberating. A choice is often based on fear. Perhaps always.

You can't choose and let life determine what happens. Then you will naturally start doing the things you think you should do.

Also listen to this podcast:

https://open.spotify.com/episode/4NoCE33xgDQ6MGM5GUKl01?si=521da3a401024790

Choosing Love

Is it hard for you to let go of choosing and just go with the flow? If so, here's a piece on how to practically choose to love.

Choosing love in this way is also being explored. For example, in education. This is because as a teacher in education, you often have an asymmetrical relationship with your students, and this can cause all sorts of problems. Researchers indicate that certain Buddhist ways of looking at students can help them teach better, for example with:

• Love and kindness.
• Compassion.
• Equanimity[2].

So not choosing can be very difficult, but you may be thinking at such an anxious reaction. What if I look for a solution here in love? Or in compassion and equanimity? How would I approach my defense then?

Compassion often does take a lot of thinking[3], but I can make it very easy for you. If someone makes a nasty comment or does something that makes you think you need to get your grudge, remember that that person thinks they are defending themselves and that they are afraid.

It's a scared person you want to get your grams from.

That often already feels a lot less good than getting your grams from a mean person.

By looking at it this way, you can love much easier and still get out of the problem in a nice way.

Why do you get triggered?

Another way to deal with a triggering situation in which you want to lash out is to ask yourself, "What is it in me that makes me get so triggered? Why is it that I want to lash out now?"

Answering these questions helps you examine your beliefs about how you should function. This can reveal some very interesting beliefs, and especially when you then ask yourself how logical they are, you can more easily let go of unhelpful beliefs and live more from a place of light and love.

Making mental work easier

Notice that you are very easily anxious or feel attacked and find it difficult to see light and love in the world? Then hypnosis can help you make this kind of mental work very simple and even completely unnecessary.

Hypnosis can help you change unconscious beliefs about danger so you can suffer less and live with more freedom.

Want to learn more about how this works? Then join the free online masterclass on hypnosis.

Or enroll directly in one of Hypnosis Institute Netherlands' training courses .

Sources: