I want to disappear: an example of hypnosis

Wanting to disappear is a feeling familiar to everyone. The idea that you want to sink through the floor when something happens that is a little weird or in which you have appeared weird knows everyone.

But wanting to disappear can also be a technique for dealing with difficult situations. It's just not a way that removes the difficult situation and causes the difficult situation to be resolved.

The desire to disappear can also be seen as a symptom of social anxiety[1].

So how can you best help someone who wants to disappear or who already has dings for it? And can you do the same for yourself?

The beginning of wanting to disappear

But why do you want to disappear and have found a way to feel at least momentarily out of this world?

I recently helped a client who, through food and Netflix, "stopped participating" for a while when faced with difficult situations.

He came to me because he wanted to eat less chocolate. Since we are always doing something that we feel gives us something to do, I asked him what that did for him, and for him this was something that helped him disappear for a while.

In the preliminary conversation, we found out that this habit of disappearing with food had started early in his life.

When he was little, he would sneak off to the downstairs neighbors where he would get good food. Then he would enjoy the food while the neighbors were talking, but he wouldn't listen to them. He was like "you go ahead and talk, I'm just enjoying this nice sandwich". Also in his adolescence he could enjoy bread and toppings after school and then sleep for a while. This also gave him the feeling that he had a break or was no longer participating.

Now that he was 55, he actually still used this technique, but now sometimes in conjunction with Netflix.

To get completely to the root of his problem of why he would want to disappear then I performed regression with him to break this habit of using food to disappear.

Regression to see why you want to disappear

First, I explained to him what we were going to do. That we are going to talk to his inner child so that the child knows that he can stand up for himself, say what he actually wants and the like. Explaining what technique is going to be used.

He then explained what hypnosis is and was put into hypnosis.

He was suggested to go back to the first memory in which he felt he wanted to disappear.

He is two or three and plays under the table. He plays to avoid making contact with the other people around. He doesn't feel safe and he wants to leave.

He also wants to know what's going on.

I indicate that he may ask what is going on.

Client: "What's going on?"

Mother looks over and reports father missing.

Then, with a tap on his shoulder, I let him empathize with his mother.

Tap on the shoulder. "You're your mother. How do you feel about your little son not knowing where his father is?"

Client: "He doesn't need to know, because it's not good for him."

Do you love it?

Client: "Yes."

Is it him?

Client: "No."

Is he right to want to know?

Client: "Yes, I can imagine."

Then begin the first step for changing the interpretation of this moment.

Repeat after me: I love you. (Client as mother: I love you) It's not you (Client as mother: It's not you) You're right to want to know (Client as mother: You're right to want to know). But I don't think it's good for you (Client repeats as mother).

I count from one to three, tap you on the shoulder and then you are yourself. You hear your mother say this. What do you think of that?

Client: "It's scary not to know. It gives me anxiety and then I don't know if it's safe for me."

Then back to the mother. The client may tell his younger self on behalf of his mother what is going on: "Your father is confused. He has experienced things. Because of that he is confused and wandering. So we have to look for him. It has nothing to do with you. You are perfectly safe."

One, two, three taps on the shoulder, you're you. How about this?

"Glad to hear it. But I want to be involved." He may say that to his mother.

How does your mother react? Very different now than before. I get to be there and I like that. Then I know if I should worry, if it will go away and if I should worry about the other person.

How does it feel now that you belong? That you are allowed to belong?

Client: "It gives peace of mind."

Tell your mother, "Mom I understand you and I forgive you." Client says.

Is there anything else you'd like to say?

Client: "No, it's okay."

You see yourself, stepping out of the picture and being two or three years old. You see a little boy there who is calm, belongs, feels engaged and peaceful. Maybe he even feels safe. Is that right?

Client: "Yes, because he is seen."

We continue with the inner child to ensure that it grows in the client, helping them to move more freely through life and also to forgive themselves.

The child is described first in a positive way:

"He smiles because he is seen. He's calm, free, cheerful. Sure it's exciting, but he gets involved and therefore he's calm."

Just look at the little boy and say, "I forgive you." The client repeats it.

"And just hug that little boy. Just feel how he melts into you. He's growing up. He'll be three years old, four years old. He feels peaceful and gets involved, five and six. And so on. Twenty and 25.

Also that period at sixteen also there."

Client also suddenly says when I was nine.

You can respond to this, but you don't have to. Because when it's right, whatever happened doesn't matter, because the inner child is now changing this in mind. The client is changing the other situation. To encourage him you can then say:

"Exactly, all those situations change. thirty, 35, forty, 45, all the way up to now. And all those situations change. Those fall over like dominoes. Very different light. He's being seen."

By going further, you help clients grow within themselves and change unpleasant situations in their minds very quickly so that beliefs change.

Is "I want to disappear" still around?

When the technique is finished, you can check to see if the feeling is still there. You then first bring the client back to the here with the thoughts, but keep them in hypnosis and ask how it feels now. You can also name the belief directly.

"You feel the contact with the chair. If you think now about the conviction we started with, what do you feel now?"

Client: "Something different happened. I now feel like I can go to my parents if something happens."

To ensure that your client does not fall back into old habits, it is important to get them to think of a new habit. You can then suggest that something has taken its place.

If the client finds it difficult to say really practical things about this, you can also have the client imagine what would happen if a difficult situation came their way right now.

"Imagine that something bad happens right now that normally makes you want to sit right down. What happens next?"

Client: "I just want to connect and consult right now. Whether there might be others who can help me."

As you can see, as a hypnotherapist, you don't give practical solutions at all; you let the client pull that out of their subconscious themselves.

Post-hypnotic suggestion

You want your client to retain this change for the long term. That's why you give post-hypnotic suggestions that help the subconscious mind retain this change.

For example:

A week from now, you look back on this session and realize "yes it's all very different." You react differently. When there is something you literally do different things. Chocolate, you look at it, but what to do with it? Maybe you took a bite, but you leave it.

But yes it doesn't get you what it got you anymore. You are more connected to others.

You also find that you no longer numb yourself for any reason. You find that you may even stop doing other things you numb yourself with.

It's amazing how you do things all differently.

Three months from now, it's just completely different. You're all used to it already. Your new IC. You feel lighter in your head and in your body

Six months from now is different.

Get the person out of hypnosis.

Summary

What's interesting about this session is that you see very subconsciously that there is also a kind of fear of rejection or not belonging and not having help in difficult situations.

This shows that the feeling of "I want to disappear" is indeed a signal of social anxiety.

Fortunately, with hypnosis, you don't have to go into that fear and be dramatic about it. You help that person, or yourself, when you apply these techniques with self-hypnosis to deal with the belief. That way, you also avoid reinforcing fears and unhelpful beliefs.

Also check out this session:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pOnEtuaeEEc

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Or take one of Hypnosis Institute Netherlands' training courses.