You are special, you are a winner. This starts at the very beginning of your life, because you are that combination of that egg from your mother and that seed from your father. And that has been a particularly small chance that you were created
After all, boys produce billions of sperm cells from puberty onward, and they go in all directions 😉 . Most men then do not become fathers right away. I myself became a father for the first time when I was 27 years old. That would mean I had made 330 billion sperm by then. So the chances of my first son being there as he is now, the package he is now, were extremely small, but it happened. That's how it happened with you, too.
If it takes longer, some people don't have their first child until they are 40, the chances of that exact person coming out are 1 in 660 billion. That chance that you came into this world with this package of genes, in this environment and at this time, that chance was really mega small.
Winning the state lottery 10 times in a row is bigger.
You are like a winning lottery ticket, so to speak. We all are, we are all winners. But most people don't really realize that, that they are really good enough.
So we are all winners, the biggest battle we have fought. Only most people don't realize that they are really good enough. If they weren't good enough, they wouldn't even be here. Those 330 billion others, and all those wasted eggs, they're all gone. Those were literally not good enough, those have already failed natural selection and are now scattered around the planet. You are not, you are here so biologically you just belong here. Nature has determined that you are good enough.
Good enough is sometimes an opinion
If your mom or dad doesn't think you're good enough, that's an opinion. Not a fact. But you are simply good enough. Even if you can't hear, have no arms or legs, you're still good enough.
Everyone walking around this planet has been found good enough by natural selection.
The highly evolved form is running around here. We can all have our opinions on that, but that's what it is. I also sometimes think that something can evolve even further. Then I see someone 44 years old and I think, "Are you seriously still going to react that way? From an emotion or ego?" Yes, that happens and then sometimes you don't feel good enough in that context. That has to do with behavior.
Not with your being, not with who you are. Biologically, you are good enough.
Being Spiritually Well Enough
This is another whole different side to look at it. But if you are religious, for example, the Bible says "God created perfection." The planets, the sun and the cycles are fantastically put together and everything is perfect. Everything is a great perfection. The whole universe and the planets spin in a certain way, those cycles are fantastically put together. A cycle of 60,000 years, a cycle of 52,000 years, cycles of millions of years and it all goes perfectly. It's one big perfection.
Except you, because you're not good enough. You can think this.
But that's very crazy, if you think like that. Because everything is perfect and all is well. The universe is good and you are part of it. Out of the chaos all beautiful things arise, everything goes and everything comes back. That is a beautiful, cyclical environment. The earth has existed for 4 billion years and they say the universe has existed for 17 billion years and so you are part of that.
The Bible even says "I created you in my image," so you are just God.
So you're good enough spiritually, too.
So biologically you are good enough - by natural selection - and spiritually you are good enough, because God created you in His image.
Influence of parents
Unfortunately, many people forget this and feel that they are not good enough inherited from their father and/or mother. For they often also feel that they are not good enough.
Who may also have come to believe this through their parents. So this can work through the entire family line. It's just one big hypnosis, because basically everyone is good enough.
Good enough in some context
Of course, you may not be able to do things well enough in a particular setting. For example, I can do a deadlift reasonably well while working out. But is it good enough? No, I'm not good enough at that, but that's trainable.
It has nothing to do with whether I'm good enough.
I can't do things well enough yet, but that's quite another thing.
If you're going to dissect your identity from that, it's very awkward. You really shouldn't do that. You shouldn't link your behavior to your identity. You often see this go wrong at school, too. Parents then say:
"You are stupid.
You are awkward.
You're a sucker."
It's better to say then:
"You do stupid
You're acting awkwardly
You do suck."
It's almost as f*ckedup, but not quite. Because then you also say, "I know you're good enough, but you're acting sucky." It's still not very convenient, but it's already very different.
After all, you separate one's identity from one's behavior.
You often see this go wrong in school, too. Parents saying, "You're stupid, you're clumsy, you're a dork. Those labels are not smart anyway, but you can also say, "You're acting stupid, you're acting awkward, you're acting sucky. It's still not helpful to say this to a child but, at least it's already very different. You are indicating that a child is good enough but that he is acting suckerish at the moment. In the first example, you associate someone, their identity, with their behavior. It is important to pay attention to this, especially with small children.
Some things you don't do well enough (yet) in someone else's eyes. This has nothing to do with being you.
Should you have the occasional dip that you think you are not good enough, read this. Think logically and realize that you are here now, that one package among those 330 billion others. It worked out, you are good enough. Natural selection has determined: you can be there, you are good enough, you are welcome. Period. Pure nature, the whole universe wants you to be there. Look, that your father and mother have a different opinion, that's inconvenient, but that's bullshit.
Spiritually, you are also good enough. You are the image of God. I've never heard God say, "Well, I'm not good enough. God, I think, felt fine and you are the image of that. You are the creator of your own reality. You all create things and for that you are good enough. That you may not always do that to your satisfaction is fine, because it is a learning process. In any case, you are good enough.
So are you, or someone you know, in a slump? Then read this. Repeat it to yourself as a mantra: "Natural selection has determined that I am good enough. God created me in his or her image, so I'm good enough.' The former is a fact anyway, about the latter we could argue whether God exists at all. Well, fill that in according to your own belief, to Buddha or the source, the universe or whatever. You are good enough.
Also listen to this podcast:
https://www.buzzsprout.com/195236/1167863-als-je-denkt-dat-je-niet-goed-genoeg-bent-luister-dit-dan
Changing the basics of feeling good enough
Research shows that hypnotherapy is a very good treatment for people with symptoms such as not feeling good enough or not being good enough[1]. For example, if you suffer from perfectionism or anorexia.
Laying the foundation of feeling good enough begins as a very young child. Unfortunately, there have been cases of children as young as 17 months not feeling good enough[2].
It is very important that you are encouraged to try new things as a child. That you are okay the way you are and that you can just be there as you are.
Were you always a quiet child or were you a child who was always exploring and exploring the world, but suddenly stopped?
To figure out where feeling good enough went wrong, you can use regression to go back to the moment when you first thought, "I'm not good enough."
You are first put into hypnosis by the hypnotist and then helped to think back to the first moment when you felt inadequate. These are often moments in childhood, as this is when we form our beliefs about life and how we function in the world.
Once you figure out this moment using hypnosis, you start doing something with that moment in your mind. The hypnotherapist helps you with this. For example, you make yourself act differently, you empathize with bystanders or perhaps you make yourself walk into the moment as an adult. It can be anything, as long as it helps you let go of that belief that you are not good enough.
Because you are.
So by reinterpreting such a moment, by adding new information to it, you can change beliefs very quickly and thus let go of not feeling good enough.
Self-hypnosis to feel good enough
To keep this effect lasting, the hypnotherapist can also give you affirmations that you can repeat at home during self-hypnosis. This is not always necessary, but it may just make everything work even better.
These can include affirmations such as:
"I am good the way I am."
"I can do anything."
"What people do or say says more about them than it does about me."
"I'm here."
These are just examples. Depending on your beliefs, you may be given other suggestions by your hypnotherapist that work better for you.
Want to learn more about hypnosis and how it all works? Then come to a free online master class.
Want to get started right away and help people with hypnosis? Then come to a seminar or enroll in one of our training courses right away.
Also pin this handy infographic:
Sources:
[1] https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/00029157.1984.10404160
[2] https://books.google.nl/books?hl=nl&lr=&id=zXXlAAAAQBAJ&oi=fnd&pg=PA35&dq=how+to+feel+good+enough&ots=D7c3yVcJ6L&sig=gOhfOQUhzT1hoXpcc3ERVop24DU#v=onepage&q=how%20to%20feel%20good%20enough&f=false
