Growing up: What you will realize
Some people mature faster than others, but what exactly is maturing? For example, some people say that becoming an adult is a kind of trap because it makes your life boring. But is that really the case? In this blog, I take a closer look at growing up
What is being an adult?
What being an adult means, people don't all agree. Research does show that there are a number of factors that make people feel mature, namely:
Taking personal responsibility for your own behavior.
Taking on the role of keeping things safe (such as watching over children and adolescents)[1].
Whether or not you feel like an adult is also closely tied to the identity you give yourself. Do you still feel like a child, or do you feel like an adult? Are you just acting like an adult—are you actually “faking” it—or does it genuinely feel that way to you?
Researchers have also examined what children perceive as characteristics of adult behavior, and these findings are particularly interesting because many beliefs about how the world works actually originate in childhood. This research yielded the following results:
- You are able to create a balance of work and play.
- You are allowed to do more (like being bold) without unpleasant consequences.
- You are more bossy and in control of other people.
- You are physically more mature (men have beard growth, for example)[2].
These are very interesting observations from children, but they don't quite add up yet. However, it is good to see that children find that adults actually have more control over when they want to play or work, and that adults can control this better than they can (because they just want to play).
The second point in particular shows that as you get older, other people don't judge you as much, and this, of course, also has to do with self-responsibility.
Maturity can also confer a form of status that makes people follow you. Of course, whether you are bossy depends more on you.
The physical maturity, yes we can say a lot about that, but that says nothing. This is something you only discover later in life.
But what really defines adulthood is that you’re responsible for your own actions in life and may even take on some responsibility, which allows you, for example, to help others. Or, as children see it: it lets you be the boss.
Own company
One of the best things you can do to grow up is to start your own business. That’s because you’ll be entirely responsible for the success of your business. You can no longer blame your boss for things that aren’t going well in your life, because you’re the boss.
But there’s a lot involved in running a business, such as handling your paperwork, building your website, creating your product or service, and then marketing it.
Soon you may then realize that you can't do everything on your own, and the great thing is, you don't have to.
Realizing that it ’s okay to ask for help to achieve your goals is also a sign of true maturity.
At school, you may have gradually come to feel that you have to do everything on your own. You have to study for a test on your own; you have to pass an exam on your own. All of this happens early in life, which can lead you to believe that you have to do everything in life by yourself.
Unlearning this "doing it all yourself" is a clear sign of maturity.
Collaborate with other people
Working with other people to achieve your own goals is incredibly mature, and this can come across as if you are "in charge" (you may start to feel that way, too).
In school, you sometimes had those group assignments where you could gather people around you who you could say, "You're good at this, so you can do that task well." But often you found that you were either the only one working in the group or that working together just didn't work out.
But then again, you are working with immature people.
Believe me, things really do get very different when people have to start working together to put bread on the table.
Vision of where you want to go
Another aspect of maturity—and something you’ll face when you run a business—is that you need to have a clear vision of where you want to go. For example, you might want to grow your business. You might want to offer certain services or products. You might want to expand into countries other than the Netherlands.
It can be anything.
It’s the same in your own life. You might want to travel the world —or maybe you just want a quiet life with a house, a tree, and a pet. You might want a partner —or two; you can make it as wild as you want.
When you are small, where you want to go or are going is all clear. You go to school, then high school, then college, then work. You do everything "just as it should be."
Then, when you work like any adult - and feel very mature, because you do everything the way it's supposed to be done - it can suddenly get a little itchy.
Is this really fun? Is this really what you want? Is this really what makes you happy?
Then you might even have a bit of a short-term view.
You can also start thinking about how you want to age. Do you want to be a fit grandfather later? What do you want people to say about you at your funeral. This can feel very intense, but if you know what you want then, you also know what to do now.
A fit senior citizen is someone who does exercise throughout their life.
A cheerful senior citizen is not someone who got stuck in a job that made him sour.
This might mean that you need to start a meaningful project of some kind alongside your job, so you don’t burn out. For example, you could make fun things and sell them on Etsy or start tutoring teenagers if that’s something you enjoy.
This may also mean that you need to pay some attention to your diet and exercise.
You then begin your vision now where you want to end up. You can take where you want to be as a benchmark and then calculate back to what you need to do. This makes it easier to see what is relevant and irrelevant.
Also listen to this webinar:
Hypnosis to be mature
So if you have a clear picture in your mind of where you want to be, you can take a step back from that point each time to see how you got there. This is something hypnosis can help you with. Instead of looking at how a specific event has influenced your life—as in regression —you’ll look at how a specific vision can influence your life.
This also works very well to have a clear plan to achieve this goal and then actually achieve it. A hypnotherapist can help you do this while in hypnosis.
If you are very good at hypnosis, you can even do it yourself, but you must have studied hypnosis.
Another way hypnosis can help you with growing up is by alleviating the fear of responsibility. For example, you might think you’re not smart or good enough to do certain things, but those are just beliefs.
After all, you have everything within you to achieve the goals you dream up, otherwise you wouldn't even think of them.
Hypnosis can, for example, help you improve your self-confidence and increase your self-esteem, giving you the courage to make your own choices and do what it takes to achieve your goals.
This is done, for example, with hypnotic suggestions such as:
"I am strong."
"If I can think it, I can do it."
"I am worth a lot."
"I can do anything I want."
These are just examples. Depending on your goals and beliefs about yourself, a hypnotherapist may give you other suggestions. These suggestions are then often given to you as homework as well, so you can continue to reinforce their effects at home with self-hypnosis.
Would you like to know if you can enter a hypnotic state and if you can hypnotize others? Then come to a Hypnosis Workshop. These are held in Wormerveer and Zwolle.
Would you like to see hypnosis in action and learn and experience how it helps resolve personal problems? Then come to a seminar.
Do you want to help people achieve their goals and use hypnosis as a tool for personal growth? Then sign up for one of our training courses. The courses are offered in Zwolle, Wormerveer, and online.
[1] https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/abs/10.1111/jonm.12030
[2] https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0140197100903816