Becoming Pregnant: Letting go to succeed
There are some people with whom this is impossible or almost impossible. The men I knew really suffered from this. One was on a trajectory, the other just after. One had gone through a ten-year process to get his wife pregnant. All kinds of things were involved about what to do with his genitals and when the woman had to be "ready". This of course caused all kinds of stress and disappointments during those ten years
Letting go to make it happen
Over the course of ten years, you’d end up having to deal with 130 disappointments. Who can handle that? At some point, they gave up and thought, “We’ll just have to go without a child.” That evening, they simply got drunk, and that very night she became pregnant, and they were able to have a child after all.
Another man I knew also had this. He was told he had slow seed and that everything was up to him. Then, as a man, you don't feel very comfortable among other men. By now you can share it without being ridiculed for it, because as a man you do understand that this is very annoying.
I actually had a child very quickly, and it wasn’t planned. Then you almost feel guilty toward the other men, and he really wanted it so badly, but it just didn’t work out. Even though I wasn’t exactly expecting it—I was happy, but it wasn’t part of my plan.
We had only been together for three months, so no that was not the plan.
Things are still going well, but then you hear about those treatment programs and think, “Shit, man.” But this man, too, gave up —and now, against all odds, he has three children.
Physically it apparently couldn't be done and yet he has three children.
You’ve probably heard stories like this too; many people know them through the grapevine. You think, “Forget it,” and then it works out. So there’s a mental component to it. It’s different from having low sperm count or being infertile or anything like that. Unfortunately, this doesn’t apply to everyone—if it really isn’t possible, then it just isn’t.
But really can't do it, is that so in your case?
Hypnotic IVF
You used to have the hypnotic IVF. Then they would put couples into hypnosis and then they could get pregnant naturally. Because in those days they didn't have IVF as we know it today. But they did have IVF hypnosis, which also had a super high success rate.
So what did they do back then?
They made sure they made sense of each other. It was very important for the woman to make sense of the man, because unconsciously, women might not want to let that man in anyway or not want to have his child anyway. Consciously they did, but unconsciously they didn't. That they couldn't quite let go of that anyway, that was the idea.
It was also important for the man to feel ready, because he might have subconsciously not wanted that child, or perhaps he didn’t want to have a child with that woman after all, or they simply weren’t ready to take on that responsibility yet.
They hypnotized that away by adding suggestions about making sense of each other and letting go of everything. This worked after a few sessions. This was the hypnotic IVF process. They did this in the 1950s in the US[1].
Why didn't they continue with that?
Then came the real IVF pathways, as we know them today. Those cost a lot of money and so see someone also yield a lot. With hypnosis, of course, you don't have that, only the hypnotherapist gets money for a session. A session costs 99 euros on average, while an ivf trajectory quickly costs 3000 euros. So that's a big difference.
Imagine if you need three sessions, you will only spend 300 euros instead of 3,000 euros.
On top of that, there is all the fuss about having to go to a clinic and the like. That takes the fun out of it.
Now I'm not saying hypnosis always works for everyone, but I do think it deserves a chance before you enter the IVF process. Then you might be better off by entering a natural course first, such as a hypnotic course.
Not only is this cheaper, although not about cost, but it is more human. That you also feel for yourself that you are having a child naturally, and with that you maintain some kind of pride.
You obviously don't lose those in an IVF process, but I saw in the men I knew that it still did something to them that it all becomes so clinical.
But what if you didn’t have to go through this whole process of hospitals, clinics, test results, and waiting? You don’t have to if you can achieve this through relaxation and effective suggestions.
That seems a lot more pleasant to me than all the hospital visits and the potential disappointments you have to deal with time and time again.
Looking at the success rates from that time, I think many couples who have entered or want to enter an IVF process are better off with a hypnotic process. After all, if that doesn't work out, you can always enter an IVF program.
Feels better to me because you use your own body and mind to make it work instead of the artificial.
Looking at the results of hypnosis IVF, I do not understand why this medical IVF has replaced it as the main method.
Also listen to this podcast:
https://www.buzzsprout.com/195236/1251026-natuurlijk-kan-je-zwanger-worden
Relaxation and fertility
So releasing unconscious tension about your partner can be very helpful for your fertility. It can also be about relaxation in general. For example, the Danes have figured out how stress affects your fertility.
For this, women who wanted to become first-time mothers were followed for six cycles.
This study found that when a woman experienced high levels of stress, her chance of getting pregnant was 12.8%. However, if she reduced that stress, her chance of pregnancy rose to 16.5%. These were the odds for the same woman, depending on whether she experienced more or less stress that month.
The effect of stress on the likelihood of pregnancy was also mostly seen in women with a relatively long cycle, of around 35 days.
In doing so, they also observed that early loss of an embryo was related to more stress[2].
Hypnosis can also help you reduce stress from factors other than insecurity about your partner, for example:
These are several triggers you can work on with hypnosis to suffer less.
Modern science and hypnosis for fertility
By now, fortunately, scientists are also beginning to notice that some costs are difficult for people to bear, while everyone has the right to have their own child.
That's why, for several years now, research on hypnosis and fertility has returned anyway. Hypnosis, according to research, can contribute to fertility when an embryo is placed in the womb. Hypnosis can then contribute to that this really gets a good outcome[3].
Research in 2004 showed that when hypnosis was combined with IVF treatment, it doubled the chances of pregnancy. Women without hypnosis had a fertility rate of 14% and women with hypnosis had a success rate of 28%.[4]
Once you’re pregnant, hypnosis can also help you have a more comfortable childbirth and enjoy parenthood.
How does hypnosis work to reduce stress?
There are many ways in which hypnosis can help reduce stress. Initially, a hypnotherapist will have a conversation with you, such as about your mother/father wish and how you feel about this.
For example, what are the fears you have about this.
If there is no problem in that, the hypnotherapist can continue to work with you to find the trigger of the stress that is preventing you from getting pregnant. Perhaps you're afraid of becoming a bad parent or you just have stress from whole other facets of your life, such as your work, family or friends.
The hypnotherapist will then help you identify the beliefs that are causing you stress. This can be done, for example, through a Socratic dialogue or regression. You can then determine whether that belief makes sense. Sometimes it doesn’t make sense at all, and you can let go of the belief fairly quickly. When it does make sense, there are other ways to look at that belief, which reduces its hold on you and helps you experience less stress.
You can learn how all of this works during the courses offered by the Hypnosis Institute of the Netherlands. It’s ideal if you want to help yourself or others with hypnosis.
[1] https://www.bol.com/nl/f/hypnotherapy/38127261/
[2] https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0015028299001867
[3] http://scholarworks.csun.edu/handle/10211.3/185996
[4] https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/16566936/