Affirmation can be found in many parts of your life. On the one hand, you want affirmation about yourself. Everyone in their life seeks confirmation from other people that they are ok and good enough and that their picture of reality matches the picture of reality that other people have.
In addition, you can also seek confirmation that you think the right way about certain topics and people[1]. You are also someone who can give confirmation or influence someone with your power to confirm or not confirm someone.
Affirmation and your life role
Affirmation is important for developing your sense of "self" your "I" as it were[2].
Initially you get confirmation from another person that you exist, that person does not have to agree with you, but that confirmation can be a first step toward a relationship.
When you affirm someone you can imagine how they feel, what they think, what they would like and how they experience the world and communicate that to the other person in conversations.
By naming these things, you create not only a "self," but also a "we." That "we" can grow larger and larger until you have created a society of sorts. You create that we in different contexts, such as your personal relationships and business relationships. Therefore, sometimes you may feel that you cannot be yourself everywhere, as this may affect, for example, your economic situation (source 1).
Your influence of affirmation
You're probably familiar with the fact that many people primarily seek information that fits their view of the world. Information that confirms what they already think.
When you meet someone and you already have a certain opinion about that person, you often want to see confirmation about that opinion. You can then start shaping a social interaction so that the other person does have to start behaving the way you "want."
For example, when you expect a hostile attitude, you can already become hostile yourself. Of course, you will then receive a hostile attitude in return, and you will still feel that you were right[3]. Whereas if you had had a neutral attitude, a very nice conversation could have taken place.
If you see your own behavior correctly as a signal about what your bias is, you can often engage in a conversation neutrally (source 3).
Stigma and affirmation
If you suffer from stigma, you may be the recipient of behavior from someone who wants their image about you confirmed. For example, you are overweight and there may be a stigma attached to that. Communicating that stigma can then be a threat to your image of yourself.
This behavior of the other person who wants to see the image of his stigma confirmed in you does in fact affect your emotions, and that in turn can influence your behavior. The annoying thing is, this can then even change your self-image if you can't handle this well. You don't even then have to be aware of the prejudice that other people have about you.
For example, if you have no problems with your obesity and someone suddenly acts very hostile about it and that person is important to your work, for example, this can cause a lot of stress.
You can also become fearful of stigma and of people seeing you as a certain stereotype. Unfortunately, that fear can also cause you to have fewer opportunities yourself than if you were not suffering from this, regardless of whether you might have a particular stigma.
Being able to use this well is then important for your well-being, performance and self-confidence[4].
Hypnotherapy and Confirmation
There are 4 ways you can use hypnotherapy to do something with affirmation. Initially, for example, it is important to get confirmation from your therapist the moment they see that you are in hypnosis. It is then helpful to know that you are in that state and that everything you are doing is going well.
A hypnosis specialist can tell by your posture, breathing and eyelids how deep you are in hypnosis and will then be able to confirm this to you.
Removing confirmation bias
Then the treatment can address how you want or don't want something with affirmation. For example, do you want to get rid of your idea that needs confirmation. Do you notice that you are leading conversations in a certain direction because of preconceived notions, but that in the end you are not helping yourself with this? Then a hypnotherapist can help you deal with certain prejudices in a different way, so that you don't let them influence your conversations with people you don't really know very well.
For example, you can break the unconscious rituals you have when you notice that you have a confirmation bias. You can then visualize how conversations go with people about whom you have a bias and when you usually (unconsciously) let the conversation go a certain way. Then you can mix up that visualization, making it no longer logical for your unconscious to go through that process.
Instead, you can then create a healthy normal visualization on how to engage in conversations with an open mind to your interlocutor.
This can be done by repeating certain suggestions, such as:
"Every human being is unique and can have unexpected sides," says Dr. K. K., the company's CEO.
"When I act neutral, I get to see the real person."
"I let the conversation run the way it runs," he said.
These are just examples. Depending on what your issues are about how you interact with other people, a hypnotherapist can give you other suggestions that will help you in dealing with attachment bias.
Dealing with the confirmation bias of others
A third way a hypnotherapist can help you is to help your deal with the confirmation bias of others. Everyone always has an opinion about something, and some opinions are persistent. Like dumb blondes, lazy fatties, dumb smokers and the like. None of that is true at all, of course, but unfortunately not everyone understands that.
You always fit into a group, but how do you handle it when someone wants to put a sticker on you, and how do you make sure it doesn't cause you all kinds of stress?
In that case, boosting your ego, self-confidence and visualizing how to handle difficult situations where someone is clearly trying to put a sticker on you can be a way to avoid that stress. This is also something a hypnosis expert can help you with.
For example, if you know you are going to have certain conversations, you can think ahead of time about what you want to say and what you don't want to say. Then you can practice how to say nothing, or say something completely different when someone wants to give you a certain direction you don't agree with.
Removing the importance of affirmation
Affirmation also does something to your identity. Namely, when it is confirmed, you know you are on the right path to a fine social circle. If it's good, anyway.
If you only get affirmation at times when you are not actually yourself, it can be very annoying and tiring. Always putting on a play is neither enjoyable nor does it give you the affirmation you really want.
In order to be yourself, it is then helpful to remove the importance of affirmation. After all, you will eventually get affirmation anyway, but from people who do accept you as you are.
That's how everything works out after all.
With a hypnotherapist, for example, you can find out why certain affirmation, or approval, is so important to you. One way to do this is with the regression technique. With this technique, you go back in your mind to the first moment when you thought affirmation was super important.
These are often moments from your childhood.
You then go on to do something with that moment. So you can reinterpret it, but with the knowledge about people and the world you have now. This alone can do a lot to change your beliefs about the importance of affirmation.
Something more may also be needed. In your mind, for example, you can also change the moment. In fact, for your mind, it doesn't matter whether something is real or fantasy to change the memory.
Even after such a regression, you can be given suggestions to repeat with self-hypnosis that will help you with self-confidence and strengthening your ego allowing you to better be yourself and, more importantly, give yourself affirmation.
Want to learn more about how hypnosis works? Then come to the free online master class on hypnosis.
Or enroll in one of our training courses. Ideal for self-development or just to help people as a coach or therapist.
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