Today I want to talk to you about fears. Fears are interesting because they can hinder us, but they can also keep us safe and protect us. Why do we have fears? Of course, we can have a whole discussion about that. After all, we have them!
Recent research has shown that there are people who have no fear[1]. These people are really out there! That seems to be a defect in the brain. These people are really not afraid of anything.
In another study, they thought that these people would then be extremely violent. That people would start doing crazy things. But they seem to be the sweetest people you can meet: because they are not afraid of anything. Friendly, non-violent people. And what turns out? The people who are very violent are actually extremely afraid.
Nothing to be afraid of
Maybe you're reading this right now and you're a professional fighter by profession or something along those lines, and you say, "I'm not afraid of anything myself. Well I might wonder about that. I doubt it. Because that research has shown that the most violent people are extremely afraid. Right scared! And that the people who are not afraid at all are nonviolent.
So if you are a professional fighter then maybe there is fear somewhere within you. Maybe you have a desire to prove yourself or feel like a loser if you don't. Somewhere you feel a fear.
That's not a bad thing! We all have fears. So do I! Maybe I'm afraid of you if after you read this you start looking me up like "Oh yeah, let's see who's afraid!" Well maybe I'll be very afraid. It is interesting though. Where did this come from?
About the brain and anxiety
Roughly speaking, we have three parts of our brain that deal with anxiety. The neocortex prefrontal cortex, the limbic system or emotional brain, and the brain stem; "the primordial brain." Which also generates the fear responses[2]. Your primal brain reacts very quickly by freezing and then your brain immediately scans for danger. Immediately your brain checks the following things:
- Can I eat it?
- Am I being eaten?
- Can I partner with them?
The amygdala are the two almond-shaped nuclei in your brain that make up the fear center. If it is hypersensitive then we speak of anxiety disorders in mainstream medicine. I'm not big on labels myself, but okay.
What is interesting is that the moment you choose to overcome your fear, feelings of anxiety initially become stronger[3], because after all, you are going into battle with that fear. Your body then gets the signal, so to speak, to get ready for some kind of final battle.
I see my fear
How is this possible? If you consider that your brain is about 70%/80% tuned to your eyes. The brain is tuned to what you see. And you start comparing it to people who are born blind, they also know fears but a lot of phobias they just don't know! Most idealistic fears they don't know. No claustrophobia, no fear of heights, fear of spiders, they don't know it. That's fascinating!
If you put it all side by side, you can see clear differences between the fears of people who do see versus those who were born blind. You might note that perhaps 95% of the fears we might know are fears that originate from what we can see.
Then the question is; how do we do it? We create a picture in our mind and that picture that triggers that amygdala, or fear center. And that picture moves faster than reality.
So suppose I see a spider. That spider is small, but in my mind I make it big. Why? Because that might be something I want to protect myself from.
I may have had an experience when I was about 4 years old, for example, where my mother said "Ah, look out Eddy, a spider!" Then that fear memory is stored, especially if my mother did it more often[4].
The amygdala scans for critters with eight legs, and once that is scanned with my eyes, the sensory route takes a shortcut through my brain. I can't think about it at that moment. Well afterwards, but first I feel fear.
Change the visual trigger
It is often more convenient to change the visual trigger. When you change it then the long route is taken through thinking.
Sometimes fear comes from an experience. Or a fear memory. Often you can look at the triggers so that the image becomes different in your mind. You can train those images and then the amygdala becomes less or no longer sensitive. And then it's done!
For example, this has been studied with people with speech anxiety. As they were able to visualize certain scenes, their fear of speaking became less and less[5].
How can you do this?
What is important to realize is that you are doing this yourself ! You don't have a disorder, no you are doing it yourself. Then the question is how do you do it?
An example of making fear of spiders smaller:
Imagine the skyline of New York. How big is that picture? And imagine taking out that whole skyline and putting a big spider in its place. That one is really big! Now imagine that spider sitting on a table. And you put the table down in a room in a house. At some point you have a little spider in a house somewhere in New York.
When you repeat this exercise, the trigger goes away, and you feel better. This works for more than 90% of all fears. When you do this you can go through life with less anxiety. And should you succeed in being completely fear-free, you will be 1 of the most loving persons in this world.
https://open.spotify.com/episode/2UgwR4X4nTmLdODaH3Ixts?si=0bdcc68ed5164a64
Avenging the cause of anxiety
So, as mentioned, you can also have a fear due to a past event, such as your mother screaming every time she saw a spider. But whole other events can also cause this.
You can use the above techniques with hypnosis, but you can also use hypnosis a little more therapeutically to overcome your anxiety. For example, hypnosis works just as well as cognitive behavioral therapy to overcome social anxiety[6].
One technique you can use against social anxiety and fear of spiders (or other tangible things) is regression. With this, you go back to the moment when a particular fear arose.
You then start evaluating your fear, so to speak, with the knowledge you have now. After all, you are no longer a small child, and perhaps you now know that your mother is not always right. By revisiting this moment and empathizing, for example, with your mother, or other people who played a role in creating your fear, you may soon come to new insights, and this alone may ease the fear.
In addition, you can get a post-hypnotic suggestion that affects your behavior after therapy. Such as that spiders won't even notice you anymore and otherwise you just pick them up and release them in your yard. Effortlessly and it gets better and better.
The latter also helps you build your self-confidence, which is also an important tool for breaking through anxiety.
You can also repeat hypnotic suggestions that make you feel more confident when faced with your anxiety, such as:
"I am strong and brave."
"I can clear spiders easily."
"I can do anything I want."
"I can always give it another try."
These are just examples. Depending on your fears, you may receive other suggestions to help you overcome them.
Getting rid of anxiety
So getting rid of anxiety is very difficult because it is a natural response that you need for your survival. If you never suffer from anxiety you probably have a damage in your brain.
But fortunately, there are many things you can do to minimize anxiety, such as using visualizations for what you fear. Examining the moment when the fear arose and changing your mind and boosting your self-confidence.
Hypnosis can help you tremendously with this, and if you understand this well you can do a lot with self-hypnosis as well.
Want to know how hypnosis works? Then come to the free online master class on hypnosis.
Or enroll in HIN training to learn all the key hypnosis techniques you can use to help yourself and others. Ideal if you are a coach or want to support people around you in some way.
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