13 Proven Tips: How to Overcome Fear in 2025 (By Experts)

13 Proven Tips: How to Overcome Fear in 2025 (By Experts)

Nearly one in five Dutch people will experience an anxiety disorder at some point in their lives. So you're not the only one. In fact, about a quarter of all adults experience an anxiety disorder. That makes it one of the most common psychological problems in the Netherlands ( 1).

Anxiety itself is actually quite normal. It is an innate emotion that helps you react alertly to danger. Your body switches to fight-or-flight mode, your muscles tighten and your heart speeds up ( 2). Useful when a lion is coming at you, less useful when it starts to control your daily life. Symptoms vary from person to person and there are different types of anxiety disorders.

Many people immediately grab the medicine cabinet. Understandable, because you want to get rid of it. But you can also deal with anxiety differently. It's not something you have, it's something you do. And what you do, you can also do differently.

So here I share 13 ways to deal with anxiety differently, based on what experts know works. Whether you suffer from social anxiety, panic attacks or just that unpleasant tension in your gut - these practical approaches can help you regain control of your life one step at a time.

Imagine having a stress bucket

Why do you suddenly become anxious about something that is not normally a problem? You're sitting quietly working and then your mother calls. Normally fine, but now you completely snap. Your heart is pounding, your hands are shaking and you don't understand a thing. "What's wrong with me?"

There's nothing wrong with you. Your stress bucket is just overflowing.

Your personal stress bucket

Imagine that inside your body you have an invisible bucket. This bucket fills with stress hormones all day long. Everyone has such a bucket, only the size varies from person to person. Some people have a big bucket, others a smaller one. No matter which one you have, they all fill up.

What do you put into it? All kinds of things. Worries about money. Arguments with your partner. Those deadlines at work. But also “good” stress: organizing a party, moving into your dream home, or even going on vacation. Stress is stress, whether it makes you happy or not.

Your body produces various stress hormones in the process ( 3). Adrenaline shoots up and subsides within 15 minutes. Cortisol lingers much longer ( 4), hours, sometimes days. And all the while your bucket continues to fill up.

Then it happens: your bucket overflows. Suddenly you're anxious about something small. Your brain switches to survival mode and you can no longer think clearly ( 5). Everything becomes danger.

Why this can be such a relief

"Trigger stacking" is what experts call this. It's not that one phone call from your mother that makes you anxious. It's all those other things that had already nearly filled your bucket ( 6). That phone call was just the straw.

Many people think something is broken in their brain when they become anxious. "Why am I overreacting?" But nothing is broken at all. Your system is doing exactly what it's supposed to do: alerting you that things are getting too much.

Isn't that a relief? There's nothing wrong with you. Your bucket is just full.

How do you empty that bucket?

Eighty percent is about how you deal with your symptoms. The other twenty percent is your lifestyle. Fighting anxiety doesn't work; in doing so, you only throw more stress into your bucket.

What does work:

1. Doing mindfulness and relaxation exercises(7).
2. Taking time for yourself (yes, you can)
3. Saying no when it becomes too much
4. Get help from others
5. Eating and sleeping better
6. Exercise and getting outside(8).

Keeping a stress diary can also help you. Then you can see patterns and intervene before your bucket overflows [20]. Taking ownership of your own stress bucket, so to speak.

Stop fighting your anxiety

Fighting anxiety seems logical. You feel something annoying and you want to get rid of it. Just like trying to get an annoying song out of your head or not wanting to scratch an itchy mosquito bite. But here's the biggest pitfall: the harder you fight, the more intractable it becomes.

What does that fighting look like?

You try to push away those anxious feelings. "Why am I feeling this way again? This is ridiculous, I shouldn't feel this way." Sound familiar? You sit around criticizing yourself all the time for being anxious. You analyze it until you weigh an ounce. You try to control your thoughts or, on the contrary, you avoid certain situations.

People with anxiety symptoms often feel they have to "do something" about it. They search for the "how" - how do I get rid of this? But maybe that "how" does not exist as you think.

Why it doesn't work.

Imagine throwing a boomerang. The harder you throw, the harder it comes back and hits you. It works the same way with fear. This is not a philosophical story, this really happens in your body.

When you fight your anxiety, your brain gets the signal: there is danger! Your body produces even more stress hormones and your anxiety gets stronger instead of less. By fighting, you hold that tension in your body when it could actually be going through you.

The funny thing is: it’s often by stopping the struggle that things get better. Acceptance doesn’t mean you have to do something; it means you stop doing something.

Just letting fear exist

Anxiety is a normal human emotion. As normal as hunger, fatigue or a tickle in your nose. Everyone gets anxious from time to time. Instead of judging yourself about it, just observe it.

Try this:

1. Notice when you rebel against that fear
2. Say to yourself, "Okay, this is a feeling. This is not me"
3. Feel where it's at in your body
4. Just let it be there

You will discover that you can function just fine while being anxious. You don't have to get rid of your anxiety before you can live your life. The strange thing is that that anxiety often eases on its own when you stop fighting it and accept it ( 9).

Overcoming fear, then, does not mean chasing away fear. It means learning to live with it without it becoming your boss.

Use breathing techniques

Breathing is perhaps the easiest yet most underestimated opportunity you can seize to change anything. A few minutes of conscious breathing has so many amazing effects. You're breathing anyway, so why not do it consciously?

What breathing does to anxiety

Breathing and anxiety are directly related. When anxiety strikes, your body produces hormones such as adrenaline that make your heart beat faster. Your muscles tighten for the fight-or-flight response and need more oxygen. So you start breathing differently.

When you’re anxious, you breathe shallowly from your chest—in short, rapid bursts. This can lead to hyperventilation, where you take in too much oxygen and retain too little CO2. The result? Dizziness and heart palpitations, which only make your anxiety worse.

Others, on the other hand, hold their breath in fear. Not helpful either, because that only makes you more anxious.

Exercises that really work

You can control your breathing, so you can also influence your anxiety ( 10). Simple but effective.

Abdominal breathing > the basics:

1. Sit up straight, hands on your stomach
2. Breathe gently through your nose, feel your belly expand
3. Exhale slowly, feeling your belly retract
4. Try 3 seconds in, 6 seconds out.

Box breathing > what the Navy SEALs use:

1. 4 seconds in, 4 seconds hold, 4 seconds out, 4 seconds wait

4-7-8 breathing by Dr. Andrew Weil:

1. 4 seconds in, 7 seconds hold, 8 seconds out

Heart coherence > breathing with feeling:

1. Approximately 5.5 seconds in and 5.5 seconds out

When to do this.

Start by practicing for 5-10 minutes daily, even if you are not anxious. This is how you train your nervous system to handle stress better.

As soon as you feel the first signs of anxiety, apply your breathing. Don't fight it - accept that the fear is there and use breathing to make it less intense.

Good times:

1. On rising
2. Before sleeping
3. During stress
4. For panic attacks
5. For important moments

By consciously breathing out, you activate the parasympathetic part of your nervous system ( 11). Your body calms down and anxiety can pass through you without taking control.

The beauty is: you're doing it anyway, so why not do it better?

Just go do those scary things

Here’s the tricky part. One of the best ways to deal with anxiety differently is to actually face those anxious situations you’d normally avoid. Doesn’t sound very appealing, does it? But it does work ( 12).

What do I mean by exposure?

Exposure means consciously exposing yourself to situations you find scary. It is not torture, but a proven way that is part of cognitive behavioral therapy. There are several ways:

1. Real situations: You will actually drive a car if that scares you
2. In your mind: You bring up fearful memories and work through them (this can also be done using self-hypnosis and hypnotherapy).
3. Physical sensations: You consciously seek out that dizzy feeling that scares you

When you keep avoiding situations, your brain keeps getting the same message: "This is dangerous, stay away from here!" And that's just not right. By avoiding, you actually perpetuate fear.

Why this works.

Your brain gets used to things. The more often you experience something, the more habitual it becomes. It's called habituation and it's very simple really. Moreover, you notice that all those nasty things you expect ("I'm going to pass out in that elevator") just don't happen. And then those expectations slowly disappear.

You are creating new pathways in your brain, so to speak. The first time it is a narrow forest path, but the more you walk on it, the wider it becomes. Eventually it becomes a regular road that you can cross without thinking ( 13).

How do you tackle this?

You don't do this overnight. You build it step by step:

1. Know what you want: What exactly is bothering you? What situations are you avoiding?
2. Make a list: From not so scary to very scary
3. Start small: Start with something that is scary but still doable
4. Stay there: Don't flee once things get tense
5. Repeat it: once is not enough
6. Four small victories: Every step counts

Is this easy? No. Does it work? Yes, very well in fact. You will find that your self-confidence grows with each situation you take on rather than avoid.

A hypnotherapist can also practice this with you first in mind if you feel this is really scary to begin with.

Use meditation or mindfulness

Mindfulness may sound like floaty stuff, but it's actually very practical. It helps you deal with anxiety differently. Instead of fighting it - which we already know doesn't work - you learn to be with it.

What is mindfulness for anxiety?

Mindfulness means focusing your attention very consciously on something in the here-and-now. Simply put, you pay attention to what is happening now rather than fretting about yesterday or worrying about tomorrow. With anxiety, this helps because you can observe anxious thoughts without being carried away by them.

You're not stuck in your head with all those thoughts, but you're watching them from a distance, so to speak. This approach works well in our world where everything goes on at top speed. You create some space for yourself, so to speak.

What it gets you

Research shows that mindfulness really helps with anxiety. The benefits are concrete:

1. You make fewer stress hormones
2. You'll suffer less from those pesky thoughts that keep grinding away
3. You sleep better and your blood pressure goes down
4. You get out of your head and better notice what is happening in your body
5. You will begin to recognize negative patterns and be able to break them ( 14)

Helpful benefits to get started.

How to get started.

Start small. Five to 10 minutes a day is enough if you are just starting out. Choose a set time: in the morning, on your lunch break, or as a transition between work and home.

A simple exercise:

1. Sit somewhere quiet
2. Close your eyes or look at a fixed point
3. Pay attention to your breathing
4. Feel your belly or chest rise and fall
5. If your thoughts wander (and they will) kindly bring your attention back

You can also practice mindfulness during everyday activities like walking, eating, or brushing your teeth. It doesn’t have to be perfect. The very act of noticing when your mind wanders and then bringing it back is the exercise. Be gentle with yourself.

Talk to someone you trust

Why do we make everything so difficult for ourselves? You sit with your anxiety and instead of talking about it, you keep it all inside. As if it will then go away on its own or something.

Anxiety can make you very lonely, but it doesn't have to. After all, you do, so you can do something with it. And one of those things is simply opening your mouth.

Why talking works

See, when you say out loud what's on your mind, a couple of things happen. First, you admit that something is there. Sounds simple, but try it. It's pretty hard to say, "I'm scared."

Speaking it out gives you a grip on it. It no longer remains that vague, unpleasant feeling somewhere in your gut. It becomes something concrete you can work on. And that relieves ( 15).

Moreover, others finally understand what is going on with you. They no longer have to guess or pretend nothing is wrong. You decide who you confide in. That gives you back a bit of control.

Who will you talk to?

Choose someone you feel comfortable with. That could be:

1. A family member - brother, sister, parent
2. A good friend
3. A trusted advisor at work or school
4. Your GP

Do you think they’ll think you’re crazy? It’s usually not as bad as you think. People are often much more understanding than you realize. Sometimes it’s even easier to talk to someone who’s a little more removed from you, like a trusted confidant.

How do you start such a conversation?

Wait for a quiet moment. Not when everyone is stressed at the table or right before the other person has to go to an appointment. Take a walk together, make dinner together, just sit somewhere.

Finding it hard to get started? Write down in advance what you want to say. Not a whole novel, just the gist.

And be honest about what you need. Do you just want to vent? Or are you looking for solutions together? Say so, otherwise the other person might start giving advice when all you want is to be heard.

Notice someone else struggling? Just ask, "How are you doing, anyway? I'm a little worried." Take what they say seriously, even if it may seem illogical to you.

Looking for a method that really works?

Cognitive behavioral therapy is central to treating anxiety symptoms. Research shows that this science-based method is effective for most people with anxiety problems. But what does that really mean for you?

What makes a method proven?

A proven method simply shown to work. Not just once with one person, but repeatedly in studies with hundreds of people. Cognitive behavioral therapy appears to be the most evidence-based methodology for preventing and reducing anxiety problems.

In CBT, you learn skills to manage anxiety symptoms and practice in situations that trigger anxiety. Exposure is a crucial element here. So you don't just talk about your anxiety, you do something with it. That fits exactly with the idea: you don't have anxiety, you do anxiety - so you can do something else.

What programs exist?

There is the Coping Cat program, developed for children with separation anxiety, generalized anxiety disorder and social phobia ( 16). In addition, there are programs such as:

1. Thinking + Doing = Daring (DDD), available as individual treatment and group treatment
2. FRIENDS/FRIENDS, used as both prevention and treatment of anxiety ( 17)
3. Online treatments through therapy platforms, with or without guidance

There are also programs aimed at specific fears, such as dental anxiety or fear of failure. So lots of choice, which is actually quite nice. Not everyone works the same way.

How do you tackle this?

Start by discussing treatment options with your doctor. Together, you will decide which approach is best for you. A treatment plan can have several components:

1. Information about your anxiety disorder
2. Conversations with a psychologist or psychiatrist
3. Practice with exposure in real or virtual situations
4. Possibly complementary therapies such as psychomotor therapy

By following a proven method, you significantly increase your chances of dealing with anxiety differently. It is not a guarantee (there is no such thing) but it is the best possible chance available. Especially when cognitive behavioral training is combined with hypnosis, it works very well.

Watch your diet and caffeine consumption

What you put in your mouth affects your anxiety level more than you may think. It's not the solution to everything, but eating and drinking more consciously can certainly help.

Nutrition and anxiety

The link between what you eat and how you feel is becoming increasingly clear, even if the research is not yet complete ( 18). What we do know is that diets full of saturated fats and added sugars can increase your anxiety levels. In contrast, a varied diet, such as Mediterranean cuisine, has a calming effect.

Does that sound logical? Actually, it does. Your body and mind are not separate parts. What touches one, touches the other.

What you better stop doing

Caffeine is the main culprit. That cup of coffee, that energy drink, that strong tea—they all pump adrenaline through your body. Heart palpitations, restlessness, the whole shebang. Do you drink more than 400 mg a day? Then you could even trigger a panic attack.

In addition, you better limit these things, too:

1. Sugar: Causes a roller coaster in your blood sugar. First up, then down. Fatigue and irritable behavior result
2. Alcohol: Seems relaxing, but it disrupts things in your brain. In the long run, it only makes anxiety worse
3. Processed junk: Is full of chemical junk and little good nutrition

What does help your body

Fortunately, there are also things that help calm your nervous system. Omega-3 fatty acids from fish, walnuts and flaxseed are good for your brain. Magnesium from spinach, avocado and pumpkin seeds relaxes your nervous system.

Complex carbohydrates from whole grain products and legumes keep your blood sugar stable. No peaks and valleys, no mood swings. Just stable.

It doesn't have to be perfect. Start somewhere. Quit that fifth cup of coffee, grab a banana instead of a cookie. Small steps, big effects.

Sleep better, because being tired makes everything worse

Sleep and anxiety constantly get in each other's way. Almost half of people with anxiety or mood problems sleep poorly, compared to only one-fifth of people without those symptoms. Logical really - just try sleeping well when your head is spinning at full speed.

Why poor sleep amplifies anxiety

When you sleep poorly, you have a harder time dealing with emotions, making anxiety symptoms worse. It then becomes a vicious cycle: anxiety causes poor sleep, and poor sleep makes you more anxious ( 19). I often see this with people in my practice - they come in with bags under their eyes and tell me they've been fretting for weeks.

You don't have sleep problems, you do sleep poorly. That may sound harsh, but it also gives you opportunities. Because what you do, you can do differently.

What really helps

A consistent sleep schedule isn’t a luxury—it’s a necessity. Go to bed at around the same time every day and wake up at the same time. Even on weekends. Yes, that can be a hassle sometimes, but your body thrives on predictability.

Regular exercise reduces stress and provides deeper sleep. It doesn't have to be a marathon - a brisk walk can be enough. Relaxation techniques such as the breathing exercises I mentioned earlier will help you get to bed more restfully.

Schedule moments of rest during the day, too. Your brain needs time to process all the stimuli. Keeping a sleep diary can provide insight into your patterns.

What you better leave

Stop caffeine, nicotine and alcohol four to six hours before bedtime. The latter is insidious - alcohol does make you sleepy, but later disrupts your sleep quality. Heavy meals right before bed are also not helpful; your body will stay busy digesting.

Put away that phone in the hour before you go to sleep. The light from screens inhibits the production of melatonin, your sleep hormone. Intense exercise right before bedtime is also best skipped.

Most importantly, realize that good sleep is not an afterthought - it's a foundation for how you feel and how you deal with difficult moments.

Exercise regularly and get outside

Movement appears to be one of the most underrated ways to deal with anxiety differently ( 20). It sounds simple, but that's why it works so well.

Movement and anxiety

Thirty minutes of moderate exercise a day can significantly reduce your anxiety levels ( 21). Some studies even show that eight weeks of regular running can reduce anxiety levels by more than half. That's because exercise:

1. Stress hormones such as cortisol reduces
2. Endorphins and dopamine releases, the "happiness hormones
3. Distracting you from negative thoughts
4. You get used to physical sensations similar to anxiety, such as increased heart rate

That last point is interesting. When you exercise, your body feels the same as when you are anxious: increased heart rate, faster breathing, tense muscles. Playing sports teaches you that these sensations are fine and not dangerous. Your brain then makes the connection: "Oh, this feeling doesn't have to be scary."

Why outdoor exercise helps

Being outdoors enhances the positive effects of exercise ( 22). Nature has a calming effect on the body and mind. Daylight produces vitamin D, which combats fatigue. Research shows that even twenty minutes in nature has the same effect as a cup of coffee.

You don't have to become a mountain climber. A walk in the park works just as well.

How to build this into your day

Start small with a short daily walk. The free Ommetje app can help you stay motivated. You can also:

1. Using your lunch break for a walk
2. Cycling to work or store instead of driving
3. Find a regular exercise partner for extra motivation

The most important thing is consistency and choosing activities you enjoy. Because if you don’t enjoy something, you won’t stick with it. And sticking with it is what matters most.

Practice self-compassion and be gentle with yourself

How you treat yourself while doing fear makes the difference between being stuck and moving forward. Maybe "self-compassion" sounds a little floaty, but it's actually very practical.

You are not your fear

You do fear, remember? You're not. Yet you often start berating yourself: "How weak I am," "Other people don't have this," "I should be able to do this." Those little voices in your head don't do you any good.

Self-compassion means to stop berating yourself when you do anxiety. It has three parts: being kind to yourself instead of self-destructing, realizing that everyone suffers at times (you're not the only one), and mindfulness - just noticing what's there without immediately making all kinds of stuff up. This helps against anxiety ( 23).

Why it works

By being kinder to yourself, you break that circle where you do fear, berate yourself about it, causing you to do even more fear. People who practice this suffer less anxiety and depression. They handle adversity better.

It's not soft stuff. It's practical. You need yourself to move forward, so why undercut yourself all the time?

How to do it

Start simple. Put your hand on your heart and feel the warmth. Say to yourself what you would say to a close friend going through the same thing.

Change that loud voice in your head. From "How weak I am with this fear" to "This is obviously hard for me. Can I be kind to myself?"

Or try this phrase: "This is a bad moment. Rotten moments are part of life. Can I take good care of myself now?" It may feel crazy at first, but it works.

You don't have to love yourself like in some feel-good movie. You just need to stop constantly berating yourself. That already helps tremendously.

Stop avoiding anxiety triggers

Avoidance behavior seems logical. You're afraid of something, so you don't seek it out. Simple right? But avoidance is one of the biggest pitfalls if you want to deal with fear differently ( 24). It limits your life without you even realizing it.

What do you actually do when you avoid?

Avoidance behavior is a natural survival mechanism in which you avoid situations that create tension. It can start small - putting off that phone call, canceling that presentation. But it can also grow big - not daring to go out anymore, letting friendships get watered down, not daring to take that dream job.

It seems like a solution. You feel scared, so you avoid it. But what is really happening? You confirm to yourself that there is danger. You never learn that you can handle it. Your world gets smaller and smaller while your fear gets bigger and bigger.

Why avoidance doesn't work

Here's the paradox. The more you avoid, the more anxious you become. It's like a boomerang - the harder you throw away what you don't want, the harder it comes back.

Go figure. Suppose you are afraid of falling while riding a bicycle. Therefore, if you stop riding a bike, what happens? You only become more afraid of cycling. Your brain keeps getting the signal, "See, this is dangerous!" And meanwhile, you never learn that you can just bike without falling.

Research also shows this - avoidance behavior reinforces anxiety rather than reducing it. It creates a downward spiral where avoidance leads to more avoidance.

How do you stop avoiding?

You just do it. Sounds harsh, but it's true. You do go make that presentation. You do go to that party. You do start that training.

Of course, you don't have to jump into the deep end right away. Start small. Take steps. But take them. Each time you do something you would rather avoid, you build evidence that it can be done. Your brain learns, "Oh, look. It's not so bad."

It won't be easy. You'll be anxious. But you know what? You can function just fine while you're anxious. You don't have anxiety, you do anxiety. And you can continue to do that while still taking those steps.

After all, what does avoidance really cost you? Friendships, opportunities, dreams, a life where you can be yourself. Is it worth it?

Seek professional help if needed

Sometimes you do everything you can, but it's just not enough. That's not a bad thing, that's human. Sometimes you need someone who really knows about this.

When will you stop doing it alone?

You actually know when things are getting too much. You find yourself doing anxiety instead of living it. Recognizable signs:

1. You have a continuous headache or stomach ache
2. You're sleeping poorly or barely eating anymore
3. You can't concentrate
4. These concerns just won't stop

The sooner you seek help, the better. Anxiety that lasts too long enters every corner of your life. Your work, your relationships, your enjoyment - everything shrinks.

What you can do.

There are several options:

Your primary care physician: Often the best place to start. Who knows you and can assess what you need ( 25).

Basic mental health care: For people with moderate symptoms. You talk to a psychologist, do online exercises, or a combination. You can also see a hypnotherapist.

Specialized mental health care: When things are really tough. Then work with a psychiatrist or clinical psychologist.

Cognitive behavioral therapy works best, especially when combined with hypnotherapy, sometimes with medication included.

How do you tackle this?

Start with your primary care physician. They can see what's going on and refer you if necessary. Take someone with you if you like.

You can also seek help online. Many mental health sites and hypnotherapists now work via image or chat. Convenient if you can't or don't want to go to a location.

Most important: you help determine what happens. The practitioner knows how anxiety works, but you are the expert on your life. Together, you create a plan that's right for you.

Briefly, what works when

Now that you've seen all thirteen ways, it's helpful to keep an overview. After all, you obviously don't do everything at once; that would actually create more stress. Here you can see at a glance what works best in which situation:

The beauty is: you can choose what suits you. Some people benefit more from exercise, others from talking. Some people only need a few techniques, others take a broader approach. You own your own process - literally.

Bottom line

Managing anxiety differently takes time and practice. The thirteen ways you've read about here give you several options to try out. Some work immediately - like breathing - others take time to take effect.

The most important thing you know now? You don't have fear, you do fear. That may sound crazy, but it's liberating. Because what you do, you can do differently.

Are you going to fight that fear now? Then you are making it difficult for yourself. Are you going to embrace the fear and deal with it differently? Then you will have room to change something. It's your choice.

You can try several things at once. Practice breathing and exercise and sleep better - they reinforce each other. Or you choose one and go for it. You know best what suits you.

Don't expect things to go straight up. One day you feel fine, the next you're back in that tension. That's part of it. It doesn't mean you're failing or that you can't do it. It means you're doing the process of learning to deal with anxiety differently.

Don't want to be on your own? Understand. Talk to someone you trust or seek professional help. Nearly one in five Dutch people do this process, so you're really not alone.

What will you do next? Try one more thing today? Maybe that breathing exercise or a walk outside? Starting small is fine. You don't have to do everything at once.

Remember: you do it. And because you do it, you can do it differently.

Get started with your anxiety yourself or help others

Do you want to tackle your anxiety on your own? Then knowledge of hypnosis is incredibly helpful. Join our free “RESET Your Brain” challenge and start reducing your anxiety as early as next week.

Or sign up for our free masterclass to get an introduction to hypnosis.

Want to help others (too) who suffer from anxiety? Study hypnotherapy with us, and start your own practice (or help people in your personal circle first).

Join one of our events or register directly for training.

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