What to do about Homesickness for adults and children

Nothing like being home, that's what you might think if you're suffering from homesickness. But it can also be very annoying, because you want to go on a nice vacation or sometimes you have to go on a business trip for your work and if you suffer terribly from homesickness, it is inconvenient and, of course, this can cost you nice opportunities and nice moments.

Almost all people suffer from homesickness to a greater or lesser extent when they are away from people who are important to them or out of their familiar surroundings[1]. But yes, when it really causes you to stop functioning properly, it's time to do something about it.

That's why in this blog I'll take a closer look at what you can do about homesickness in children and in adults.

What is homesickness?

Homesickness is the word you use when it just makes you sick when you are away from home. When you go to stay with other people you become dead unhappy and just want to go home.

People think that homesickness mainly affects children, but nothing could be further from the truth. After a move, you can suffer a lot of homesickness even when you are an adult[2]. So this can already become a problem if you are going to study somewhere that requires you to live in rooms due to travel time.

You find yourself constantly thinking about home or the people there. You feel anxious and depressed. You withdraw socially and find it difficult to focus on anything other than home[3].

Homesickness Cause

There are a number of reasons why you may suffer from homesickness, namely:

1. Fear of loss
2. Interrupt your lifestyle
3. Reduced sense of control
4. Changing your role
5. An internal conflict (within yourself) (source 2).

Research also shows that people who suffer from homesickness often have a different personality than people who do not suffer from homesickness (source 2).

Homesick Children

Going to sleepovers or school camp for the first time are times when homesickness can become evident in children. There are several ways homesickness can manifest in children.

For example, a child may withdraw and start crying. Some children actually externalize homesickness by cursing, fighting or breaking things (source 1).

It's best to first ask, "How much homesickness do you feel?" This question does not make the homesickness worse, but helps you determine how best to help the child.

After all, if the child is very homesick this doesn't go away after a few days, it gets worse and worse over time if you don't do anything about it.

Children play and can hurt themselves, if this happens during school camp, for example, it can trigger homesickness.

When children end up in the hospital, the attachment they have is not always able to predict whether they will suffer from homesickness. For example, poorer attachment or the feeling of lack of control do not always trigger homesickness even though it is expected (source 1).

What to do about childhood homesickness

To prevent homesickness in children, it is important to give them experience of being away from home. Letting them stay with grandparents, with friends is a good step to start with before they go to school camp, for example.

It is helpful if your child feels they have a choice, for example, to stay or go to school camp. If the child feels forced, this can cause more homesickness. You can also involve the child in planning, such as about what clothes to bring and what toys or books.

Preparing your child to feel homesick and that everyone suffers a little from it and that it is normal also helps them cope with feelings of homesickness.

Practice communication. Does your child have a smartphone with them? Then practice video calling, for example.

On a calendar, you can count down the days your child goes away, making it predictable for your child when he/she is away from you.

Encourage your child to play with the kids at school camp or where they are staying and identify which adult is there to ask questions to or speak to if something is wrong.

Give your child only positive suggestions; for example, don’t say, “Don’t forget me,” or “Do you miss me yet?” Instead, say , “Have lots of fun and play well!”

Don't promise your child that you will pick him/her up if he/she really doesn't like it, because that too can actually cause him/her to start focusing on what all he/she doesn't like so that he/she can just say as quickly as possible that it really isn't fun and then you pick him/her up(source 1).

Children with homesickness and hypnosis

Do all the above tips do little to help your child's homesickness? Then child hypnosis may be a solution. A case study of a 9-year-old girl who did not want to stay with other children shows that this can certainly help. Children can find it difficult to explain why they do not want to stay with other people and what their problem is.

A visualization of the fear can then be very helpful in making the fear disappear. For example, you first ask the child to indicate the shape and color of the homesickness. Then you help the child make the homesickness smaller and give it a shape and color that he/she likes in order to change the feeling associated with the homesickness or the problem into something positive so that he/she is no longer bothered by it.

In addition, you can also teach the child to use a visualization of a safe place where they feel completely peaceful. Your child can then practice these in difficult situations to regain composure.

In the case study, this helped the lodging process go well[4].

Homesick Adults

What is interesting is that if you have poorer health this can also cause homesickness, much like a child getting hurt (source 1).

For students, poor academic performance can lead to homesickness and illness, and low self-confidence can also cause homesickness in adults.

Students with insecure attachments to their parents may also suffer from homesickness, fearing they will not get help when they reveal they do need it(source 1).

What to do about homesickness as an adult

Get to know new people in your new surroundings. Making a new friend can go a long way toward reducing feelings of loneliness.

Where you focus your thoughts is also important for reducing homesickness. By focusing on the positive aspects of your new home or the city where you’re staying, you consciously shift your focus from your old home to your new one (Source 1).

Adults with homesickness and hypnosis

Adults with homesickness can also be helped with hypnotherapy. Visualizing homesickness and changing it can also help adults well to already reduce anxiety.

But in addition, there are many other techniques that can help against homesickness and help you build your life in your new hometown.

For example, if you find it difficult to find new friendships, improving your self-confidence can go a long way. Repeating hypnotic suggestions during self-hypnosis can then play a role. These can be suggestions such as:

"I am strong and independent."

"When I am myself I attract people who fit me."

"It is always possible to make friends."

These are just examples. Depending on your beliefs, you may receive other suggestions that work better for you.

In addition, visualization about the future can also help you. This is the opposite of a regression. With a regression, you go back to the past to find the cause of your homesickness, for example.

With a progression, you actually visualize your ideal future and the road to it in reverse order. So, for example, in a year from now you will have a nice life in your new place of residence and then in your mind you take one step backwards each time until the moment in the hypnotherapy chair. In this way you create a kind of plan for a fine future. The hypnotherapist helps you with suggestions to map out this path yourself.

So homesickness is of all ages, but there is always something that can be done about it, and in difficult situations, hypnotherapy can also be a solution.

Want to learn more about hypnosis and how it can help children and adults? Then come to the free online master class on hypnosis.

Or enroll in one of Hypnosis Institute Netherlands' training courses .

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