Unable to cry: Lifting Buckade

Some people cry over everything, but there are also those who, for one reason or another, can’t cry and struggle with this. Having a block that prevents you from crying can be very frustrating, because sometimes a good cry is exactly what you need to let off some steam.

In this blog article, we explore the benefits of crying, where blockages that prevent you from crying come from and give you tips on how to break the blockage.

Benefits of crying

Crying has all kinds of benefits, and they are sometimes different than you might expect. For example, if you cry in a social setting, such as with friends, it can strengthen the bonds between them. This is because it can evoke empathy in your friends for what makes you cry.

But there are also situations where crying causes people to think negatively of you and view you as needing help[1]. The context in which you cry is therefore important in determining whether or not you should give in to it. The positive effects of crying for yourself can be negated if those around you don’t respond well to it. This is why many people prefer not to cry at work.

Crying doesn’t just foster empathy. It also triggers a “caring for others” response in people who see you crying. This caring for others also includes feelings of wanting to protect, and it can even reduce aggression in those around you[2].

Looking purely at the benefit to yourself, crying is also a form of self-care. It is a way to calm down when you are actually all over the place. This is why some people start crying when they are actually super angry. Crying can improve your mood and make you feel relieved.

Crying also regulates your physical response to stress. In fact, crying works in the same way as when you yell to express a strong emotion or when you become aggressive to express a strong emotion—and then feel relieved and better afterward.

However, stress is not always the cause of crying. You can cry over small things or very big things in life, and those things can be both positive and negative.

People can cry at all kinds of strong emotions, such as joy and sadness.

Contributing factors

Those personal benefits are not always there. Also, as mentioned above, it often just depends on where and with whom you are to experience the positive effects of crying.

In addition, it also depends on your personality. For example, people who have an extroverted personality are more likely to notice that crying is more cathartic than people who are, for example, very preoccupied with how they "should" be (source 2).

If you’re struggling with mental health issues, such as depression or anxiety, crying might not actually bring you relief—it could actually make you feel even worse.

What does help, however, is being someone who can form attachments in a healthy way . So if you have a good relationship with your parents, there’s a good chance you’ll feel relief when you let yourself cry for a moment.

Need to cry about something you have control over? If so, crying often helps you feel better. If you are crying because you actually feel powerlessness, then crying again does not help.

Origin of cry blockage

Mental problems such as depression can make you unable to cry. This does not mean that if you cannot cry then you are depressed, it is just one contributing factor.

It may also be that you’ve received many signals throughout your life that crying is “not done,” and that you’ve unconsciously developed the belief that crying is pointless—and so you don’t cry. For example, your parents might not have reacted well when you cried, so you’ve taught yourself not to cry.

Fortunately, your attachment style can change over the course of your life, and if you feel secure in your relationships, this helps you experience the benefits of crying (source 2).

Breaking Crying Blockade

Many people want to be able to cry because it helps them improve their self-esteem. They think they are a warmer person when they can cry, than when they cannot (source 2).

But now that you've read all this information about crying, you've probably already realized that being able to cry or not actually says nothing about how hot you are as a person.

You can be there for other people just fine without crying.

However, a block against crying can also be a symptom of an entirely different problem. In fact, some people report that they were unable to cry until a specific problem was resolved or they gained a certain insight, after which they were able to cry again and felt the relief that comes with crying (source 2).

A hypnotherapist can help you break through problems that cause cry blockage.

As mentioned, there are a number of possible causes, and for each of those causes, hypnosis can aid in resolution.

Unable to cry due to depression

Depression is really tough, especially when crying doesn’t help. Fortunately, hypnotherapy can go a long way toward treating depression and helping you rediscover the benefits of crying.

Research shows that hypnotherapy is as good as cognitive behavioral therapy (now the standard), for treating depression and preventing relapses into depression[3].

Unable to cry through beliefs

I myself have been a non-huiler for a very long time because of my beliefs. In fact, most beliefs are formed in your childhood, and during that time my grandfather died. During the funeral, men actually did not cry.

This gave me the conviction that "no matter what," as a man you are not going to cry.

So I wasn't expressing my emotions in a healthy way at all, and because of this I actually ended up with all kinds of problems, such as depression, which I then solved with "remedies" that couldn't be gotten through the doctor.

Not at all convenient.

Being introduced to hypnosis has completely changed my beliefs and now I can cry.

So how does hypnotherapy do it?

There are all kinds of techniques for this. In most cases, a regression is performed to the first moment when you felt, “I mustn’t cry.” These are often moments from childhood—such as, in my case, my grandfather’s funeral.

Then a hypnotherapist helps you reinterpret this moment, but with your adult knowledge. Depending on the event, this can go very differently.

Sometimes it's a way to realize the event is over.

Sometimes it's a way of realizing that as a child you didn't know at all what other people were thinking. For example, by empathizing with other people who were there at the time.

Sometimes it's a way to talk to your parents (even if they are already gone).

A hypnotherapist helps you work through all of this in your mind and continues until the feeling of “I mustn’t cry” goes away.

You might even burst into tears 😉 .

Not being able to cry because of your way of attachment

As mentioned, poor attachment can keep you from crying because you never got the signal from your caregivers that it was going to help you move forward.

In this case, a conversation with your inner child will likely be necessary to help you form healthy attachments again or to realize that you’re already securely attached.

To realize that you do now have a partner with whom you can cry out for a while and who does offer comfort, rather than saying "pull yourself together."

Unable to cry blockade release with hypnosis

With all this knowledge about crying, what may be causing it and how hypnosis helps you clear a crying blockage, you will already be a lot further ahead.

Would you like to learn more about hypnosis and how you can use it to help yourself and others? Then join us for the free online masterclass.

Or register right away for one of our events or trainings.

During the events, you already get many fun exercises and demonstrations that can give you many insights and completely transform you into someone who can express their emotions when needed.

Click here for our events.

In the training, you will learn the techniques to help other people remove blockages. These can be all kinds of blockages, such as a crying blockage, exercise blockage, smoking blockage, health blockage.

You can take the training in class and online. Ideal if you are not local for a change, or even live on the other side of the world altogether.

Click here to learn more about our training programs.

Also pin this handy infographic as a reminder:

Sources: