Problem solving: your view of the problem
Problems don't exist. Maybe you feel like you have a problem, but if you think it through, you'll find out that it doesn't exist. Let me explain this
You may have heard me talk before about, roughly speaking, two realities. I also often say that there is really only one—that everything is light and love.
But humanity has agreed on a number of things, such as that a chair is a chair and a table is a table. We call this “agreed-upon reality.” Everyone knows what you mean in that language, and if not, you can always translate it.
Then there’s distorted reality: what do you think of that chair or table? Of course, you can have all kinds of opinions about it. Nice chair, crappy chair—it could be anything. What you think is your distortion.
The chair is not a problem. It's just a chair. In agreed-upon reality, it is mostly objects that we name.
The meaning you assign to it. Whether it’s a chair, a plant, a spider, a dog, or a neighbor—that’s the distorted reality. The problems lie within that distortion. This is an incredibly important aspect of problem-solving, especially when using hypnosis for this purpose[1].
Does everyone else have a problem with your problem?
That neighbor is not a problem. Not everyone has a problem with your neighbor, or else the whole world will say that person is a problem. But that's not how it is.
What you put on it is that you are experiencing a problem with him, for example. That's your idea of reality. It's all in your head. Nor can you get out of your head to see what is real.
Everything you see outside and have an opinion about is in your head. That might not seem to be the case right now. Many people also think that life just happens to them, but you often project that life as well.
Of course, things happen in your agreed-upon reality. You’ll form an opinion about them. For example, you might be in a car accident —one person might not care, while another might have nightmares about it. So we attach meaning to these events.
If you truly understand this, you also understand that in agreed-upon reality, there are no problems. So if there are, you do. No one else does.
Maybe you know more people who have a problem with it, that's possible. But that you have a problem with it, you do.
So there are no problems until you label all sorts of things as problems. Some people even do this with everything. I actually think that’s brilliant.
But the challenge, then, is to realize and see it. Because then the problem could already be solved just like that.
Problems are often a projection
When you truly realize that person is not someone you have a problem with, but you are projecting a problem with them.
Now this is very easily said, but not easily done.
If you have a problem with the Chinese takeout place, then you stop going there. You simply avoid the object onto which you’re projecting your problem.
But go avoid your parents, partner or children. It's very hard to look at things differently then. But then again, you can't change them to how you think the world should be. Then you are like Don Quixote fighting windmills because he thinks they are monsters.
It makes no sense.
Many people do try to control their children and partners. That’s different from parenting. But you’re trying to bend things to your will—and successfully so!
Of course, you also just want them to behave well in a restaurant, for example. You then explain that to your child.
But projecting problems is something you do yourself.
When you think about it, the problem solves itself. The moment you stop that projection it dissolves.
Solving problems by seeing other projections
How to.
In training and sessions, we offer different perspectives. We look first at how you project something onto the other person. After all, you are doing something.
You look at him. You see him like this. You think about the past, because you've been through things and therefore it's a problem now.
Then we go one-on-one to review those experiences and try to zoom out for perspectives.
One perspective may be that that person can't help it. That it's because of how he grew up and the experiences he had. If you had grown up that way you would have done the same thing.
That's not an excuse or anything, but it's a statement. It's a perspective.
Another perspective is one of yourself. You yourself may be doing things that cause that person to act that way.
That one may not be very nice, but it is also a perspective.
For example, there are multiple perspectives where you can look at experiences that people have gone through and you can look at your own experiences that you have gone through. Like experiences you went through in childhood .
All kinds of perspectives through which we can change our distortion of agreed-upon reality. We also call that projection or distortion a map of the field.
Offering new perspectives, that map becomes increasingly clear.
At some point, you’ll realize that there is no problem and that you’re the one doing this.
It may take some time to realize this.
For example, many people use meditation to step back from who they are and how they view things.
Personally, I am not much into meditation and find hypnotherapy or self-hypnosis where you can go after perspectives more enjoyable.
I use meditation mostly to unwind, but that's personal.
Hypnosis helps you have an inquisitive and curious mind. Like playing detective with yourself. Without putting yourself down or feeling guilty it won't work.
But with an inquiring or curious mind. How do I do it now?
By having that curious mindset, you avoid flogging yourself.
Also listen to this podcast:
https://www.buzzsprout.com/195236/4623077-09-hoe-kom-je-uit-de-hypnose-van-je-probleem?play=true
Hypnotherapy for providing new perspectives
In the example above, having a Q&A session is one way to gain new perspectives. Of course, this can take place while under hypnosis.
Another approach involves guided visualizations. These are also known as hypnotic dreams. They can be used as a tool for problem-solving[2]. For example, if you find yourself having to talk to someone or need to forgive someone, a visualization can help you do so not only consciously but also subconsciously. That way, you can let go of someone’s annoying behavior more easily, and if you do find yourself confronted with it again, you can walk away more easily or, as it were, let it slide right past you.
Before a good clear guided visualization can be given, the hypnotherapist does need to know how you see the world, what your distortion actually is. Therefore, a number of questions are often asked first about the problem you have, such as:
- What's your problem?
- Why are you seeking help now?
- What would be the ideal outcome?
- What would happen if you couldn't solve the problem?
- When is the problem a problem?
- What does that situation look like?
- When is it especially a problem?
- How do you deal with the problem on a daily basis?
Sometimes these questions alone provide enough food for thought that it can already change one's view of the problem[3]. But otherwise they provide enough insight to find an appropriate technique to help you solve the problem.
Milton Erickson’s techniques also help you reorganize your thoughts[4]. This makes it easier to deal with the problem constructively on your own.
Want to learn more about hypnosis and problem solving?
Would you like to learn more about solving problems with hypnosis? Then join the free online masterclass on hypnosis. In this masterclass, you’ll learn the basics of hypnosis.
Or sign up right away for one of our training programs. These programs cover the initial consultation, guided visualizations, and Ericksonian techniques, along with all sorts of other useful tools you can use to help yourself and others.
Sources:
[1] https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/00029157.1995.10403159
[2] https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/00029157.1982.10404065
[3] https://psycnet.apa.org/record/2006-08291-018
[4] https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/00029157.1990.10402898