People can't be trusted: what to do?
You may feel that people cannot be trusted, but that is a very difficult feeling to live with. Especially in the Netherlands, which is a pretty densely populated country, so you always have to deal with people in one way or another. Then when you don't trust anyone it makes your days very difficult. But where does that feeling of "people can't be trusted" come from and what can you do about it? In this blog I explore it in depth.
What influences confidence in people?
Trust in other people is incredibly important for a well-functioning society. This is because it reduces the effort required to get something from someone else. The costs of getting things done are even lower. According to research, it is primarily in the Netherlands, Switzerland, New Zealand, and Australia that people trust their fellow human beings, while in all other countries, distrust of others is much greater[1].
Fellow confidence is especially strong if you are highly educated, in good health and have a steady job or at least the idea that allows you to count on your income.
What is unfortunate, though, is that so if you don't really have a reliable income, don't have reliable health and are low educated, you are more likely to distrust people, and that can unfortunately keep you in that bad situation. Because trusting people helps a lot with working together and therefore improving your life.
Hormones also play a role in trusting your fellow man. For example, oxytocin (the cuddle hormone) also makes you trust people more, but it is not true that if people are actually untrustworthy this hormone makes you trust them anyway. So it also depends on how the other person acts[2].
But if, therefore, the other person actually always handles your trust well and you still distrust them, it might be helpful to take a look at your hormonal balance.
Where does distrust come from?
Research shows that people determine whether other people can be trusted based on generalized expectations. For example, if you have ever had contact with an "other" group of people and it went well or not well you determine whether or not you can trust people from "that group" based on that contact.
The context or setting in which you are asked to trust also plays a role in creating mistrust[3].
In reality, you choose whether or not to trust someone. That choice is a kind of risk assessment. Every time you make an arrangement with someone—even if it’s someone you’ve trusted before—you make that choice again, and that person’s behavior also gives you a sort of “update” on how much you can trust them[4].
Of course, if this happens to you often, you may think that all people cannot be trusted. You've been very unlucky indeed then.
Types of trust
Then you can distinguish between types of trust. Researchers can gain insight into two types of trust, namely:
Trust and people in your immediate circle; people you have relationships with.
And
Confidence in people in general[5].
When you say people can't be trusted, is this about trusting people in both cases or more about people in general?
What to do to regain confidence
Trust is a verb and you need a few things to trust in people. It is also good to know that trust affects just about everything we do, and it is the basis for ethical behavior[6].
For example, it takes courage to trust again, and you have to be brave to place your trust in, say, a romantic partner (so that he or she won’t break your heart later).
Truth is very important ear trust. Initially, it is important to be honest with yourself and, in that way, at least trust yourself again. After all, you are also a human being.
In addition, that honesty is also needed from the other person. A lie or betrayal—whether through an action or even a failure to act—doesn’t really help build trust[7].
Confidence in yourself and others can be strengthened in multiple ways. For example, Tai chi combined with hypnosis helps improve confidence in your body. That can be helpful in improving your health. Ericksonian hypnotherapy, for example, helps create new nerve cells.
For example, you have automatic associations, such as that in certain situations people cannot be trusted, and with Ericksonian hypnotherapy you change those associations without being very aware of them. If the association then becomes precisely that people can be trusted, everything feels much more pleasant. This is where the therapist then helps you 😊 [8].
In addition, hypnosis is also used for people who have experienced trauma and , as a result, no longer trust others. For victims of sexual violence, for example, trust in men is often lost. Hypnosis can then help restore that trust, gain new insights about men in general, and change thoughts that are holding you back[9].
Hypnotherapy for more confident people
So hypnotherapy can be used for greater confidence in yourself and others. But how? There are several techniques that can be used.
Regression
For example, through regression, you can determine when the belief that people cannot be trusted first arose. This usually stems from a period in your childhood, as that is when you determine how life works and how you can function within it. These beliefs often remain in your subconscious because you never really evaluate them.
With the help of the hypnotherapist, you can double-check those beliefs, and that's actually what you do with this technique. You can revisit the moment when the belief was created and now reinterpret it with your adult knowledge. This can quickly make the belief that people cannot be trusted go away.
The automatic reaction you may have to new people, namely that they are untrustworthy, is then eliminated.
The Inner Child
With this belief, chances are it was an unpleasant experience that your inner child is still struggling with. If just revisiting the experience is not enough to get rid of the belief that people cannot be trusted, then it may be necessary to have your adult self talk to your inner child, the child you were during that defining experience, in your mind.
For example, your adult self can explain that everything has come right and that it's time to trust people again, so that life can be more fun and love can flow again. This can be an emotional process, but this is incredibly healing for most people. The hypnotherapist helps to do this in a way that helps you let go of unpleasant experiences with untrustworthy people.
Hypnotic suggestions
You can also receive hypnotic suggestions. Simply eliminating an automatic response isn’t enough; you also want to develop a new automatic response so you don’t end up with a kind of void that you have to fill. Otherwise, it’s difficult to let go of the old belief, so you’re immediately given new beliefs that help you trust people. This can be done through a guided visualization of how you’ll interact with people in the future, or you can receive hypnotic suggestions that you can repeat.
You then get new associations that you can connect with new people that have more to do with doing trust new people in your life. You can also repeat these at home with self-hypnosis, for example:
"I am strong enough to trust people."
"There are trusted people and I can see them."
"I am honest with myself and other people."
These are just examples, depending on your issues with trusting other people, you may be given other suggestions.
In addition, you can get a post-hypnotic suggestion that ensures that after hypnotherapy, you can maintain confidence in people to live more carefree lives, meet people and give them another chance.
You can still encounter untrustworthy people, of course, but you will find that this is a total minority compared to those who can be trusted.
Would you like to learn more about hypnosis and how it can help people? Then join the free online masterclass on hypnosis.
Would you like to learn more about these techniques right away and help yourself or others? Then sign up for the Hypnosis Institute’s training program. The training is delivered online from a professional studio with ample support to ensure one-on-one attention.
Pin also this handy inforgraphic as a reminder: