You may feel that people cannot be trusted, but that is a very difficult feeling to live with. Especially in the Netherlands, which is a pretty densely populated country, so you always have to deal with people in one way or another. Then when you don't trust anyone it makes your days very difficult. But where does that feeling of "people can't be trusted" come from and what can you do about it? In this blog I explore it in depth.
What influences confidence in people?
Trust in other people is incredibly important for a well-functioning society. This is because it lowers the effort you have to make to get something from another person. Costs to get something done even become lower. According to research, it is mainly the Netherlands, Switzerland, New Zealand and Australia where people trust fellow human beings, and in all other countries distrust in fellow human beings is much higher[1].
Fellow confidence is especially strong if you are highly educated, in good health and have a steady job or at least the idea that allows you to count on your income.
What is unfortunate, though, is that so if you don't really have a reliable income, don't have reliable health and are low educated, you are more likely to distrust people, and that can unfortunately keep you in that bad situation. Because trusting people helps a lot with working together and therefore improving your life.
Hormones also play a role in trusting your fellow man. For example, oxytocin (the cuddle hormone) also makes you trust people more, but it is not true that if people are actually untrustworthy this hormone makes you trust them anyway. So it also depends on how the other person acts[2].
But if, therefore, the other person actually always handles your trust well and you still distrust them, it might be helpful to take a look at your hormone balance.
Where does distrust come from?
Research shows that people determine whether other people can be trusted based on generalized expectations. For example, if you have ever had contact with an "other" group of people and it went well or not well you determine whether or not you can trust people from "that group" based on that contact.
The context or setting in which you are asked to trust also plays a role in creating mistrust[3].
Basically, you choose whether or not to trust someone. That choice is a kind of risk trade-off. Every time you meet with a person, even if it is someone you have trusted before, you make that choice again, and that person's behavior also gives you a kind of "update" on how far you can trust that person[4].
Of course, if this happens to you often, you may think that all people cannot be trusted. You've been very unlucky indeed then.
Types of trust
Then you can distinguish between types of trust. Researchers can gain insight into two types of trust, namely:
Trust and people in your immediate circle; people you have relationships with.
And
Confidence in people in general[5].
When you say people can't be trusted, is this about trusting people in both cases or more about people in general?
What to do to regain confidence
Trust is a verb and you need a few things to trust in people. It is also good to know that trust affects just about everything we do, and it is the basis for ethical behavior[6].
For example, courage is needed to trust again, and you have to be brave to give your trust to, say, a romantic partner (that he/she does not break your heart later).
Truth is very important ear trust. Initially, it is important to be honest with yourself and, in that way, at least trust yourself again. After all, you are also a human being.
In addition, that honesty is also needed from the other person. A lie or betrayal by an action or even not taking action does not really help trust[7].
Confidence in yourself and others can be strengthened in multiple ways. For example, Tai chi combined with hypnosis helps improve confidence in your body. This can be helpful in improving your health. Ericksonian hypnotherapy, for example, helps create new nerve cells.
For example, you have automatic associations, such as that in certain situations people cannot be trusted, and with Ericksonian hypnotherapy you change those associations without being very aware of them. If the association then becomes precisely that people can be trusted, everything feels much more pleasant. This is where the therapist then helps you 😊 [8].
In addition, hypnosis is also used with people who suffer from trauma and who have lost trust in other people as a result, for example. In victims of sexual violence, for example, trust in men is often gone. Hypnosis can then help restore this trust, gain new insights about men in general and change thoughts that do not help you further[9].
Hypnotherapy for more confident people
So hypnotherapy can be used for greater confidence in yourself and others. But how? There are several techniques that can be used.
Regression
With regression, for example, you can find out when the belief that people cannot be trusted arose. Usually this is a period in your childhood, because that is when you determine how life works and how you can function in it. Those beliefs often remain in your subconscious because you never really evaluate them.
With the help of the hypnotherapist, you can double-check those beliefs and that's actually what you do with this technique. You can revisit the moment when the belief was created and now reinterpret it with your adult knowledge. This can quickly make the belief that people cannot be trusted go away.
The automatic reaction you may have to new people, namely that they are untrustworthy, is then eliminated.
The Inner Child
With this belief, chances are it was an unpleasant experience that your inner child is still struggling with. If just revisiting the experience is not enough to get rid of the belief that people cannot be trusted, then it may be necessary to have your adult self talk to your inner child, the child you were during that defining experience, in your mind.
For example, your adult self can explain that everything has come right and that it's time to trust people again, so that life can be more fun and love can flow again. This can be an emotional process, but this is incredibly healing for most people. The hypnotherapist helps to do this in a way that helps you let go of unpleasant experiences with untrustworthy people.
Hypnotic suggestions
Then you can also get hypnotic suggestions. Removing an automatic response alone is not enough; you also want to have a new automatic response, so you don't have some kind of void to fill. Then it's hard to let go of the old belief, so you get new beliefs right away that help you trust people. This can be done with a guided visualization about how you will deal with people in the future or you can get hypnotic suggestions that you can repeat.
You then get new associations that you can connect with new people that have more to do with doing trust new people in your life. You can also repeat these at home with self-hypnosis, for example:
"I am strong enough to trust people."
"There are trusted people and I can see them."
"I am honest with myself and other people."
These are just examples, depending on your issues with trusting other people, you may be given other suggestions.
In addition, you can get a post-hypnotic suggestion that ensures that after hypnotherapy, you can maintain confidence in people to live more carefree lives, meet people and give them another chance.
You can still encounter untrustworthy people, of course, but you will find that this is a total minority compared to those who can be trusted.
Want to learn more about hypnosis and how it can help people? Then come to the free online master class on hypnosis.
Instead, would you like to learn more about the mentioned techniques immediately and help yourself or others? Then enroll in the hypnosis institute's training, which is conducted online from a professional studio with enough assistance for one-on-one attention.
Pin also this handy inforgraphic as a reminder:
