Overcoming fear of women with hypnosis

Recently I was on Inspiradio Thijs Lindhout mentioned a number of problems people go to hypnosis for and one of them was Fear of Women. Time to write a nice blog article about that, so that you dare to address women like a true casanova.

Fear of women can affect all sorts of areas such as being able to date, or working with female colleagues. Maybe even on how you act when you are in the supermarket.

To solve this so you can date, collaborate and just be in the same room as a woman with more relaxation, it is important to overcome this.

Fearing women while being stronger

When men fear women, it often has to do with the fact that women determine whether or not you can procreate and because of the fear that as a man you will become obsolete in a modern society[1].

As for procreation, a woman can naturally reject a man, but a woman can also do other things.

In fact, women are aggressive just like men, but the aggression is very different. This one is indirect[2]. You are not likely to get slapped by a woman, but she may try to undercut you by making certain comments or by damaging your reputation behind your back , preventing you from arranging a new date with other women who know her (even if it is really only from school and not even an intimate friendship).

Not surprisingly, men can sometimes be afraid of women too, although of course this fear is very different and has to do with different things as the fear women can have of men.

Origins of fear of women

Fear of women can arise from many factors. Your mother, a teacher, fledgling loves. By knowing the origin, you can more easily see a solution.

To become a healthy adult, many factors are important, including a basic confidence that you can fall back on your parents. This allows you to experiment with making independent choices, because if things go wrong you can just go home, recharge yourself and move on.

Next, you can become good at something, often becoming your profession or a hobby you care about, and this often forms a basis for your identity as well. Only after that comes love[3].

And with that love, you actually want to rebuild that secure foundation, that you can trust, for your own children.

But if you are afraid of women because the woman who should have been your base, or who played a role in the base such as at home, school or with friend(s) was not there, or just not reliable.

If your foundation wasn't right, it can also hinder your own bonding.

Then this can manifest itself in fear of women. Sometimes that fear is disguised as hatred for women (source 1). After all, in your childhood you set the rules about how the world works and also how (adult) women generally are. You draw those conclusions by observing the women in your life at that time and drawing your conclusions from that.

In addition, boys and girls attach differently to their mothers starting at age³. This can make it more difficult for boys to attach to their mothers, and therefore to women in general. By the way, this is by no means always due to the mother. It can also be due to boys' desire to be independent and discover the world. This is stronger in boys than in girls at that age.

In doing so, boys are also more likely to be encouraged to be independent and thus connection less. As a result, this hinders boys from learning how relationships work and how to grow together in a relationship.

The focus with boys is often on developing talents to become "somebody," to "win" at something. To be "better" in comparison to others, and that gets in the way of developing the ability to relate to other people. In the process, beliefs such as "I am not good enough" can arise because there is such a focus on developing qualities.

Incidentally, also something more common among women in these modern times than in the past.

That inability to relate goes so far that men prefer to avoid conflict and not talk it out. It is easier to fight, than to talk to get out of a conflict. This can even be seen in world politics.

Unfortunately, this can also make for not being able to communicate well with your mother. That when she pays attention to you, and you respond, that something very bad can happen. Whereas your mother just wants to connect with you.

At the same time, your mother is also only human, and people make mistakes. Then if your mother cheated and your parents divorced as a result, it's not very crazy if you think negatively about women or fear that a woman could do the same to you.

And smaller problems between parents can also cause anxiety for women, such as when there is a struggle for power in the parents' relationship, a lot of miscommunication or other problems. Then the kid doesn't expect relationships to be great.

So men can become fearful of women because they don't know how to relate to women, because traditional patterns and upbringing get in the way of this, and because important women in their lives sometimes make human mistakes with disastrous consequences or because the relationship between the parents simply wasn't quite great.

Like a teacher who makes you skip a class at a young age or a mother who cheats leading to divorce.

A hypnotherapist can help you explore what past experiences have made you anxious about women, or about entering into a relationship with a woman. This is then often done with regression therapy.

Fear of women working together

With emancipation, women are increasingly holding senior positions in business, and some men are frightened by this. These then react by bringing down the woman in leadership positions with language.

For example, she is "a bitch" because she reminds you of that teacher who made you skip a class.

Whether this is because a man may then have a fear that when he has a female supervisor, it lowers his status. It is then not necessarily fear of women, but fear of the feminine[4].

In the process, the #metoo movement has also made men more aware of all the things women "don't like" that can happen at work. A compliment about a nice blouse can suddenly be seen as sexual harassment.

As a man, this means you don't always know what is helpful and what is not, and that confusion can make you anxious about working with women.

In this too, a hypnotherapist can help you by practicing, for example, giving compliments on, say, the work delivered rather than the appearance.

Fear of women while dating

Everyone has had a really good time with a woman, maybe a nice dinner. And you are sitting enjoying a moment of silence that is suddenly disturbed with the question "what are you thinking about?". Because you are still processing everything, how nice it was, but are not yet ready to share all your emotions the man says "I don't know".

This answer is not good enough for the woman and she insists. The man says "don't ruin it now" (referring to the great atmosphere) and the woman gets offended "am I ruining it?".

And suddenly there is a tension, or a fear, a sense of doom.

Where as a man you are still figuring out your feelings, sometimes a woman can already find that feelings and thoughts need to be clear.

Then when that tension is there, it blocks the fine flow that was there.

And that can make men fearful of women in romantic relationships. Suddenly the connection is gone, and all you really want as a man is to flee from the situation[5].

Even in relationships, if men are with a woman, and nothing is happening at the time, they may fear that "something" is going to happen, which in turn has negative consequences (source 3).

That excitement can be felt in certain ways.

You feel like something really bad is about to happen, and there's nothing you can do about it. You fear that if you enter into this intimate conversation nothing good will come of it, and you wonder how bad the damage will be when the conversation is over again.
Timelessness, you fear this feeling will never pass.
The damage is going to be immense and unrepairable.
Intimacy, the more intimate (mentally) you are with a woman, the worse the feeling that "something bad" is going to happen.
It may come back, you are afraid that if this feeling goes away, it may still come back at a later point in your life.
Feeling like you don't have a good handle on how a relationship works over time.
Guilt for not being enough, doing enough or feeling ashamed because you were bad in previous relationships.
You deny that women have a fear of aggression, you think you are a good-looking man, but that aggression that is naturally in you cannot come out.
Stiffening because you feel like you have to solve things quickly and this feeling actually causes you to fail, stiffening you even more.

These are all experiences that result from beliefs. In fact, beliefs determine your reality, and with this, a hypnotherapist can help overcome these feelings and fears.

Most men realize around age ⁴⁰ that things need to change. Also known as the mid-life crisis.

There are then 2 options. They address their fears and develop themselves further. For example, by going to a hypnotherapist or by becoming a hypnotherapist themselves.

Or they lapse into their own "safe" bubble, buy a sports car and date a 20-year-old woman who has no idea what she is getting into (source 3).

In the case of hypnotherapy, regression will play a major role, as well as sharing work and talking to the inner child. To see where your own needs lie and how to communicate them well to women.