Not seeing yourself as an adult

You're 25 or maybe even 30, but you just don't feel "grown up." If at all possible, you still ask your parents for permission or at least "is it smart if I do this?" and you prefer to let your choice depend entirely on them.

And sometimes this is not even really because of you, but because milestones that signal "maturity" are simply not reached quickly. This can be very confusing, because when you were young around 2000 you had certain expectations about being an adult that are now difficult to live up to, as society and its opportunities have changed.

Consider, for example, moving out of the home. There are plenty of people who still live with their parents into their 30s because they simply don't have the means to buy a house and because the waiting lists for rental properties are too large.

Also, we are all getting married later and later and having children later, which also means that that unconscious "signal" of being an adult is not being given.

Transition signals: emerging maturity

These normal things have become so disrupted by circumstances and changes in society that children now don't feel like adults. Scientists even speak of "emerging adulthood." Because of this, your transition from child to adult no longer depends so much on external factors, but rather on internal experiences.

Confusion about the role you play in your life can also make this more difficult[1]. Parents can help you make the transition by, for example, making you (partly) responsible for grocery shopping, paying bills, and similar tasks.

They can even surprise you by putting your share of the rent into a savings account, so you'll have a nice piggy bank by the time you finally find a rental or affordable home. But then, of course, your parents must have the financial room to do so.

Imposter syndrome (con artist syndrome)

If you have a job and still feel like you are not mature, you may also notice this with symptoms of imposter syndrome. It then feels to you as if you are "faking it."

You may feel that you have been very lucky and therefore achieved what you have achieved. You may even stand in the way of your own success by fearing that you will not succeed.

Young adults, the disabled, women and people from ethnic minorities may be especially affected[2].

Other opportunities, other maturity

Italian research also shows that young adults who are out of school and don't have a job (yet) feel like they are in between being children and adults. Having work would help them feel like adults anyway[3].

Other research also shows that being an adult has to do with having and taking responsibilities, such as being responsible enough to take care of yourself.

And that you are responsible enough to consider the choices you make in terms of the consequences it has for yourself, and for people around you or even society.

For people who have been adults for some time (+- 50 years old), stability is also a sign of maturity. So not a different partner every 3 months, no flex contracts, just a permanent contract for a boss you can work for for years.

The researchers who studied this also indicate that older people do not "see" younger people as adults when they do not have a steady job, for example[4].

This, of course, also influences their behavior toward the younger generation, and that doesn’t help you feel like an adult if you’re a young adult right now. Because it’s difficult to land a permanent contract—or because you’re simply enjoying life as a freelancer—older family members might act as if you’re not yet an adult. Even though, for example, you’re already 30 years old and successful in what you do—whether that’s job-hopping or running your own business .

So it is true that the society that has changed and that now simply offers fewer opportunities for young adults to achieve certain things independently (i.e., without help from your parents), such as a home of your own, can cause confusion in those feelings of being an adult. For older people, it can cause them to simply not see you as an adult. Even if you are otherwise doing just fine, but just can't afford a house or children.

Tips for feeling more mature

There are a number of things you can do to feel more like an adult.

Redefine maturity

As a child, you probably formed all sorts of beliefs about what it means to be an adult, but the world in which you grew up has changed along with you.

So check back and think for yourself now what being an adult really means.

If you find this difficult, a hypnotherapist can help you update your beliefs about adulthood. This is often done through regression.

Take responsibility

You can wait until you get responsibilities from an employer, for example, or until you find a rental or purchase home, or you can seek responsibilities.

For example, learn how to manage your money wisely. How best to save. How to get in the habit of paying bills on time.

Take responsibility for yourself, too. Exercise, eat healthy, exercise and relax.

Also write down what you are already responsible for.

Take the initiative

Are you currently quite dependent-minded when it comes to doing something with your father, mother, siblings or even friends, for example? Take the initiative and invite someone to do something fun. Think of a fun day or weekend and invite someone to go with you.

This also helps you improve connections with people around you, which can have other fun benefits later.

You can also sign up for volunteer work and take the initiative within the volunteer organization to take on projects.

Hypnosis to feel grown up

Your identity has a lot to do with how you see yourself and the positive and negative consequences this brings to your life. A hypnotherapist can work with you to examine the role of your immature identity and how it influences your life[5].

Inner child

There are also techniques that make you more aware of how much you’ve already grown as a person since childhood. For example, a conversation with your inner child can help you see how much has already changed and how you’re now taking good care of yourself instead of relying on your parents to do so.

In itself, the name of the technique says you are now an adult. Have you been forced by circumstances to make early adult decisions while not yet feeling mature? Then this technique can also help you, even if you are not yet 20, but already independent, feel mature and make smart choices for the rest of your life.

Magic mirror/ The dream

Another way to help someone see themselves as an adult is by creating the awareness that someone deserves to be successful and achieve the goals they want to achieve.

In fact, this can be incredibly motivating to take action. So it helps to have people less in a dependent state and instead activate them to take the initiative to create their life the way they want it.

Remembering adult moments

Often, unconsciously, people are already much more mature than they think. Maybe someone doesn't "always" feel mature, but surely there were times when someone did feel mature.

• A moment at work.
• A time when he/she was there for family.
• A moment at leisure.

By pointing this out to people and making them remember it again for a moment, you help people to think away their own limiting beliefs already.

Repeating Affirmations

Depending on the barriers and beliefs someone has about adulthood, it can also help to repeat certain affirmations during self-hypnosis , so that people can prime themselves to feel more mature. It’s also worth looking at the things someone already does that demonstrate maturity.

For example:

"I make my own decisions."

"I think about the impact of my decisions on myself and those around me."

"I am financially responsible."

"I can do anything."

These are just examples. Depending on a person's problems with being an adult, other affirmations can also be devised.

Learn Hypnosis

Do you want to grow yourself and help other people with their personal growth? Then knowledge of hypnotherapy is indispensable. After you have completed all of our courses you can also call yourself a hypnosis practitioner, but before that you can already use the techniques you have learned as a hypno coach.

Come to a free master class for an introduction.

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PS: You can also make a quick transformation with The Three Minute Reset, click here for more info .

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