Not liking life: what to do?

Life ripples on, no matter what is happening in your life. Not liking your life is something that can happen from time to time. After all, life has ups and downs, but what if your down now is really long anyway? What can you do then? In this blog, we take a closer look at this.

By the way, it's important to do something about it if you don't like your life anymore, because being dissatisfied with your life for a long time increases the risk of suicide. Then you must be unhappy with your life for years[1].

Have you already reached the point where you’re thinking about this? Then seek help immediately. For example, call 113 or visit bestetherapeut.nl to get help with your feelings of unhappiness.

Not liking life anymore

If you don't like life anymore, chances are you've always done what you feel is "the way it's supposed to be," but have now reached a point in your life where doing what's supposed to be no longer works. Then it's not fun anymore, and with the rules in your head about what's supposed to be, you also don't feel like you can do anything to make it fun again, but is it?

For example, what is your definition of success? This is important for enjoying your life[2]. Are the house you bought, the marriage, those two kids and the dog successes? Or is it that you wake up in the morning and feel like your day? Those are two very different ideas of success.

For example, money isn’t usually what makes you happy at work. Although it can make some aspects of life easier. What ultimately makes you happy at work is often the opportunity to learn, to grow, to contribute to projects that require a team effort, and to receive recognition for your achievements (source 2).

By taking a closer look at your beliefs about what success is and what’s possible to make your life enjoyable, you can already do a lot to eliminate limiting beliefs—such as beliefs about what’s “supposed” to be done, but what doesn’t actually work.

And sometimes you just have bad luck. For example, you might have had a child with health problems. That wasn’t what you expected, and it’s a lot less enjoyable than if you had a healthy child. At least, that’s what you might think.

I myself sometimes say that expectations are the basis for disappointment. So what you expect from life can cause you to dislike your life.

Of course, you're not putting your house up for sale right now.

But you can take a look at the work you do and how you interact with your partner, your family, and your friends. Is there more you can do in those areas? Is it time to change up date night? Or to step out of your comfort zone at work?

At the same time, having a child with a disability can make your life meaningful. After all, you have to do more than just prepare a child for the real world. For this child, you have to find something that will take care of him/her when you are no longer around. In the end, that is also something good to do.

With hypnosis, for example, you can reframe your life in a new way. A hypnotherapist can help you tell your life story and then guide you to view that story from a different perspective, helping you feel better about your life story.

Beautiful moments

This brings us straight to the heart of what can make life enjoyable. There are, in fact, two ways to experience pleasure: pleasure for pleasure’s sake—also known as hedonistic pleasure—or pleasure that helps give your life meaning—also known as eudemonism.

You actually make life enjoyable by doing something good for the world. For example, by helping people, helping children with their homework, helping the elderly with their groceries, or collecting food for the food bank. You can come up with all sorts of ideas—as long as it helps you tell yourself that it gives your life meaning.

For example, I think it's important for as many people as possible to know the positive power of hypnosis because it can help you feel good, overcome fears and improve your life. This makes my life fun and less dependent on beautiful moments (which, of course, I still want to have).

Because those beautiful moments, you will always have them. A great movie you watch, a nice day with your (future) partner, a beautiful sunset, that first cup of coffee of the day. That's hedonistic pleasure.

You can make those beautiful moments even better when combined with eudemonism. For example, a child’s smile when he or she finally understands that math formula, or the gratitude of someone at the food bank picking up a food package.

To make your life enjoyable again, you can also ask yourself:“What does life want from me? What does the world need from me? What do I have to offer the world?” When you answer those questions, you’ll immediately find a purpose. And that purpose can help you make your life fun again (source 2).

For example, a hypnotherapist can help you visualize helping people or achieving other goals that make you feel you are doing something good for the world. This can work as a kind of post-hypnotic suggestion or progression.

In a progression, you can visualize an ideal future image and then also the steps you need to take to get to that image. This gives you clarity about the actions you can take to shape your life the way you want it to be.

If you don’t yet have the self-confidence to take those kinds of steps, a hypnotherapist can also help you build that confidence so you’ll dare to step outside your comfort zone to give your life meaning and start enjoying it again.

This can include repeating hypnotic suggestions such as:

"I can do anything."

"I'm good enough."

"When I am myself I attract people who fit me."

These are just a few examples. Depending on the challenges you’re facing in life and your confidence in addressing them, you may receive different hypnotic suggestions.

Surrounded by people who don't like

Another problem you might face if you no longer enjoy your life is that you either lack a social network or have the wrong one. In the latter case, you may also experience feelings of loneliness.

For example, research shows that for men and women, feeling happy comes, among other things, from having a good social life. In this regard, it does not matter whether this is with friends or family.

Among men, for example, being liked, being sexually active and playing sports are important for experiencing happiness.

For women, helping other people, having good family relationships and being loved by people they love are important to their feelings of happiness[3].

So being surrounded by people who don't like you or don't act lovingly toward you can be quite depressing. Finding new friends and social networking by joining a club or something similar, for example, can therefore be important to finding your life enjoyable again.

For example, you may have noticed that you keep attracting the same people you don't really want to attract at all. In that case, you can look at your beliefs about people and how you should act with people to see how logical those beliefs are.

In fact, if you start thinking differently about social commitments, it can cause you to experience more freedom to meet new people and that can improve your life because you can then get to know people who make you feel like they like you.

Or you can even have different conversations with the people you know and who knows, you may find out that they think much more positively about you than you thought.

Life phase is not fun

Then again, how much you enjoy life can also depend on your stage of life. For example, young people find life less enjoyable more often than people who are adults. So not liking life is definitely something that can pass, simply because you get older.

If you are a healthy adult you are often happier too. If you are an older adult, you may find your life a little less fun again for a while. Once you are past the older adult stage again, you often find your life more enjoyable again[4].

To find your life enjoyable again despite your stage of life, a progression can also be a good technique. But a hypnotherapist can also choose a different technique to suit your problems.

Want to learn more about hypnosis and how to help people with it? Then come to the free online master class.

Or sign up for one of our seminars or training programs.

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