There is a website someone recently pointed me to where people can anonymously share their secrets. I was very shocked by 1 secret. Someone had wanted a salary of a million all his or her life. He/she had achieved the goal, but confessed to never having felt so empty. Money was apparently not the way to happiness.
Do you feel like you never have enough money and are becoming unhappy as a result? Then letting go of the importance of money can help you still find your happiness and become rich after all.
Everyone wants to get rich
In our society, money plays an important role. It is hard to imagine societies with different ideas of what is fair. Communism had money, but handled it differently.
A while back I was clicking through all kinds of videos on YouTube and came across Native Americans from Central America who, at the time it was discovered by the Spanish, did not do money. Instead, favors were paid by working for each other. A kind of barter in time. Even the Spanish didn't know what to do with it.
In the Netherlands, however, money is still something that is "all" about. Today's youth also often think about becoming rich and famous. That has become the highest good. Parents want their children to get the highest level of education attainable, with the expectation that this will lead to the best paying job.
Even the government often punishes financial crimes more severely than violent crimes, especially if the IRS has been shortchanged.
If that's not an indication of the importance of money in Dutch society, I don't know what is.
Beliefs about money
Then you have beliefs about money and beliefs about people with money. Despite money having such an important place in our society, we still often talk about rich stinkers. Of course this comes from the French nobility, but the bad taste in people with a lot of money has stuck. This is very unfortunate, because if you suffer from that bad taste, it can prevent you from having enough money to live comfortably.
In the process, many people also have the belief that it is difficult to make money. With that belief alone, it becomes more difficult. For example, many people think you need money to make more money.
Or that you can't live a balanced life if you want to make a lot of money. Or that you even have to throw other people off the ladder to climb it yourself.
The first thing I want to make clear to you is that that ladder is a social construct, which is not even very active at the moment. People in the Netherlands have a certain image of that social ladder, and that image (unfortunately) starts as early as high school.
I can reassure you that that social ladder is fake and only exists in your head. Being higher on the ladder does not ensure happiness.
Divorce Through Money
In young married couples, conflicts over money are also often the biggest cause of divorce, perhaps the social ladder is more important to one person than the other.
In the process, money is often the main cause of stress for most people. Not health or social relationships, money is the main cause of stress.
There are a few money disorders that can be caused by a trauma related to money that was very stressful at the time. For example, you were once laid off and had to sell your house as a result or you were even declared bankrupt. The restriction that that brings into your life can be perceived as very traumatic.
Money Disorders
For example, you can start avoiding money by denying that you have money problems. If you don't open your mail, you haven't received a reminder either.
One of the worst disorders I think you can have is when you feel guilt from making money. Somewhere your self-confidence has taken a hit, creating a belief that you are not worth money. While everyone is worth money, which is why we have benefits in the Netherlands. You simply cannot live without it.
Then you also have people who actually adore money. In that case, for example, you may collect stuff because you think that says something about your personal prosperity, resulting in your whole house being full of stuff you don't need.
Or alternatively, you save all your money. You live as if you have benefits, but by now you already have tens if not hundreds of thousands of dollars in your bank account. This then makes you feel safe, something I can certainly imagine. But you should also be able to enjoy your money, otherwise what are you working so hard for?
Money can also cause relational problems, as mentioned the main reason for divorce. For example, you may lie about your spending habits and even secretly withdraw a bank account or mortgage without your partner's knowledge.
Or you find it difficult to say "no" when someone needs money when this is also not good for your own financial household. This is especially common among parents with adult children who, despite everything, cannot yet stand on their own two feet.
Tips for making money less important
Do you also think money is so important that it almost gives you a disorder? If so, it is important to make money another priority in your life. After all, if money doesn't make you happy, you should reach for other things.
Tip 1: Invest in friendships and family
Instead of investing your time in working overtime or even working for free in hopes of getting a paying job, invest it in spending time with your friends and family. Reserve at least 1 day a week for that. Socializing often makes you much happier than working or being alone.
Tip #2: Live Now
You only live once. Much of that time is wasted thinking about past mistakes or just worrying about the next morning. By staying in the here and now with your attention, you are truly living right now. Mindfulness is a great way to live fully in the moment. Still thinking about a financial mistake or tomorrow's bills? Then take a few deep breaths and refocus on the input your senses are giving you.
Tip 3: Get active
A passive activity, such as watching television, does not make one happy. Research shows that people who are happier often watch much less television than people who are unhappy. Instead, those people do something active, such as hiking, taking a workshop or even riding a bike.
Tip 4: Help other people
You can invest your time in work and then donate money to charity, or you can roll up your sleeves and help people in your community. That's just as good a cause and you see the effect of your help immediately. Helping other people makes you happier and often gives you more self-confidence.
Tip 5: He who does not honor the small does not deserve the big.
Count your blessings, too. By being grateful for what you have, you may start working less doggedly, which can suddenly make everything go more smoothly. So make a list of all the things you have and, in addition, indicate whether they make you happy. Then you know on the one hand what can go (tidy up) and on the other hand you only keep things that make you really happy.
Positive beliefs about money
Despite these tips, does money remain very important to you. Then at least make sure you look at it in a positive way rather than with unhealthy and heavy thoughts about money, such as that you have to fight for it you can also repeat the following beliefs.
The universe wants ME to do well.
All prosperity comes with believing in prosperity.
Money is a social construct.
Money is energy and will look the way I feel about it.
Money has no life of its own.
Money responds to the instructions I give it.
Money needs attention.
These are beliefs about money that many people who are successful (not necessarily rich) have. By looking at money in a healthy way, you can let go of the importance of money more and live your life more the way you want it, rather than the way your wallet seems to want it.
Want to learn more about mental techniques that will help you through tough times? Then come to a seminar, attend a workshop or check out the Hypnosis Institute Netherlands' training programs.
Sources:
https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/mind-over-money/201009/5-tips-loving-life-in-tough-economic-times
https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/mind-over-money/201001/do-you-have-money-disorder
https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/focus-forgiveness/201604/8-beliefs-you-should-have-about-money
