Humor in therapy, many people think can't be. Therapy should be serious. Above our location in Zwolle was also a specialized trauma team. They wouldn't laugh, you had to treat trauma very seriously.
Imagine you come to a therapist and they start talking very seriously about your problem. Then at first that's pleasant. You feel very seriously taken. But if this goes on for an hour fifteen times like this, then that therapy is not going to work.
Because the only thing that works then is to make you think even more seriously that you will never get rid of it. Interestingly, for more than two decades, scientists have indicated that humor in therapy is something therapists need to learn[1].
However, it is true that it is more effective with one problem or person than another, and as a therapist you have to be able to judge well when to use it or not. If this goes well, it does have positive effects on how you are seen as a therapist and on the treatment. For example, as a therapist you are seen as more attractive, more trustworthy and more of an expert if humor is applied correctly[2].
Humor also has an effect on the client, as it helps to reduce resistance and improve the client's confidence about finding a solution. In addition, it also provides emotional cleansing[3]. Humor is also healthy for the body. Humor improves the immune system, reduces feelings of pain and is also good abdominal muscle workout[4].
So plenty of benefits to humor, but how can you apply it in therapy?
The art of humor in therapy
The art of humor is not taking the problem seriously and the person is.
This may sound a little crazy. Human beings have a problem with something, but maybe we can distort that problem so that it doesn't need to be thought about as seriously. Maybe we can distort it so that the client will even laugh about it.
This whole idea has been around since the 1970s, as one of the strategies to stop anxiety is to make a picture and see yourself laughing every so often.
For example, you see yourself in your mind's eye panicking in an elevator and find this image so idiotic that you burst into laughter.
This may sound easier than it is, because just do this. It's hard, because you feel that panic in your body
After numerous interviews, researchers did find out that this was the way to solve anxiety.
Knowing this makes it very crazy to be serious about everything. Also, when people see me in a session they often think, "Oh, gee what is he doing? Is he burning that person down now? This can't be right?"
But I'm not burning that person down.
When I work one-on-one with someone, I often hear from people, both therapists and lay people, "If you did that to me like that, it wouldn't work."
Well, so it does work. Because we are one-on-one with each other. I'm not burning you down, but your problem. You also distort the problem. You have distorted the facts so that it might become a problem for you, and I help you, possibly with humor, to see the facts again in such a way that they are not a problem for you, that they might even be funny. Or at best neutral, because of course some facts you can't make funnier than they are.
Laugh where there is laughter. Laughter is the best medicine there is. In the Netherlands, when disasters occur, you often see us turn it into a lame bad joke so it's easier to live with.
With the Bijlmer disaster, you saw jokes like "Who ordered a wing?" being made. Yes, they were very lame jokes that put everything into perspective for the outsider.
If you lived in such a flat, then such a joke does not help and, of course, it was terrible.
Humor does allow us to put a lot into perspective. So how cool would it be if people can be helped faster when they can put things into perspective faster.
Also with other problems, such as health. People are so serious about that that it almost becomes a problem, too. Exercise every day, vegetables every day, a shake or smoothie every day, that's where people get stressed about meeting that health fad.
Then again, you can get all kinds of problems from that.
So guys, slow down!
Humor about death as perspective
One thing, and this is perhaps the best perspective, we are all going to die. So why be so serious about it? So why does it matter what you are doing?
Because you care.
So you have values you care about. Then ask yourself how you can fulfill all of them? But don't take it so seriously. Why so streaky? Why always want to win (I had/have a lot of that myself 😉 )?
Sometimes I also think to myself, "Ed, why are you getting so serious about it. Lighten up and act relaxed."
The same is true in therapy. Not so serious. We all have problems and we all struggle. Then we start comparing again, you just get very tired of that.
Then again, if you're serious during therapy, everything is super serious. Then what happened? Then you spent five years of your life laughing (the first five years) and the rest was serious.
My job is to get you laughing as soon as possible, whenever possible, that just saves a lot of sessions. And this also helps to store memories in a different way. This can save you years of therapy.
We all end up doing stupid things, laugh about it and move on.
Now of course there are topics about which it's hard to laugh, but it's not like one small period of your life to overshadow the rest. Besides, it is also a bit dishonorable to, say, your family members, if they have died because of something, to not make your life fun afterwards.
It's not easy, no one said it's easy. Someone who says life is easy who is lying.
But you can make it easier on yourself by adding humor.
Even dying people are doing this. We can all argue with that, but I think it's very clever. Then you transcend illness and death. Then you transcend it with your thoughts.
I find it very inspiring; I don't know if I could do it if I were in that situation. When I look at people who can do it, I would rather be like that than lying in bed crying in the fetal position.
Also listen to this podcast:
https://www.buzzsprout.com/195236/2764105-humor-in-therapie-kan-dat-wel?play=true
So how do you know if humor is appropriate?
As you may know, humor is something that is somewhat unique to each person. One person likes black humor, another likes lame humor, and you always have the ultimate joke teller.
For example, when bringing someone into hypnosis, it is very important to have rapport, to feel a connection between you and your client. Before that bond is there, at least, you can't use humor.
As you start to make that connection, you can also get a better sense of whether the person is open to humor, with or without mild coercion 😉 .
In training, we also pay close attention to report and how to know if you have it with your client.
Want to learn more about how hypnosis and hypnotherapy works? Then come to a free online hypnosis master class.
Or enroll directly in one of our training courses. Ideal if you are a coach or want to help people laugh at problems that don't have to be problems in some other way.
The trainings are delivered online from a professional studio and with enough assistance for one-on-one attention so that you can absorb the material well. We chose this so that external factors, such as measures against corona, need not impact your learning curve of hypnotism.
Sources:
[1] https://www.healio.com/psychiatry/journals/jpn/1990-3-28-3/%7Bcd40b9cc-73df-41f2-b8c7-bea5c36e5b14%7D/learning-to-laugh-humor-as-therapy
[2] http://etd.auburn.edu/handle/10415/2211
[3] https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/00207411.2003.11449592
[4] https://scholar.google.nl/scholar?q=Therapeutic+Use+of+Humor:+Occupational+Therapy+Clinicians%E2%80%99+Perceptions+and+Practices&hl=nl&as_sdt=0&as_vis=1&oi=scholart
