Legend syndrome symptoms reduced with hypnosis

Being a father and mother is the most wonderful thing there is, but unfortunately (or fortunately) there comes a day when the children fly out into the wide world. As a parent, it then suddenly becomes very quiet in the house, and that can bother you. Now what do you do with all that time? How are the children doing? If you suffer from empty nest syndrome you find it difficult to deal with the fact that the children no longer live at home. In this blog, I discuss legenest syndrome and what you can do about it

The legend syndrome

When children leave home, parents may experience feelings of depression and emotional stress[1]. This is something that affects a minority of parents, and your cultural background influences these feelings. Mothers, in particular, are prone to empty nest syndrome. Parents who worked part-time or stayed home with the children are also more likely to experience this syndrome, regardless of whether they are fathers or mothers.

Depressive feelings aren’t the only thing that can follow when children leave home. This can even lead to an identity crisis, alcoholism, and marital problems. Feelings of loneliness can also arise.

The expectation of why your child is leaving home and the actual reason why your child is leaving home is also a reason why you as a parent can suffer from empty nest syndrome. For example, many parents from the baby boom era expect their child to move out of the house when they go to college.

While parents from different cultural backgrounds expect their child to leave home when they get married and not before. If these expectations don't come true, it can cause the symptoms in both cases with legeness syndrome.

For parents from non-Western backgrounds, leaving home for a reason other than marriage may make them feel that they have failed to pass on the importance of family ties and family values.

Women who strongly identify as mothers may suffer from empty nest syndrome because their role as a mother comes to an end. Fathers, on the other hand, tend to struggle more with a sense of loss of control when they experience empty nest syndrome.

You wouldn't say it, but if your child leaves home at an advanced age and, as far as you're concerned, way too late, you may suffer from the syndrome. So even if you are eager for your child to leave home, you can suffer from it.

Find cause of legeness syndrome

So there are all kinds of causes for empty-nest syndrome, but sometimes this syndrome can take you by surprise. Then the question is what, in your case, is the reason this syndrome occurred? A hypnosis expert can help you find this cause in several ways.

This can be done, for example, through a Socratic dialogue. In this dialogue, the question “Why?” is asked several times to get to the core of your beliefs about how you think things should go when and why your child leaves home.

By figuring this out, you can find out what your subconscious believes is wrong, which is why you are now suffering from legend syndrome. By finding out these beliefs, the hypnosis expert also knows what to focus on to make sure you suffer less.

In addition, regression can also help if this Socratic dialogue does not produce the desired effect. With regression, you go back to the moment when your subconscious formed a belief that is now causing you to suffer from the syndrome. These can be very surprising moments, which provide a good foundation for treatment.

Treating the legeness syndrome

Research1 shows that not all parents suffer from this syndrome. In fact, it can also be a period when you form bonds with your children as adults. This is the time when you make the transition from parent to friend. In the process, the bond with your partner can also actually be improved, as you finally have more time for each other and you can get new hobbies and explore interests. So this is the goal when legeness syndrome is treated.

Lesion syndrome has been treated with cognitive behavioral therapy since the late 1970s[2]. This form of therapy combines well with hypnosis. Hypnosis even enhances the effect, allowing the therapy to work faster.

Building self-confidence beyond parenting

This form of therapy is particularly helpful when motherhood itself was a source of self-confidence and parenting is no longer a part of your life. There are several ways to build self-confidence even without parenting. This involves discovering your own qualities—perhaps stemming from motherhood—that help you in your daily life.

As a mother, for example, you’re constantly organizing things. This organizational skill also comes in handy in many professions and in volunteer work. In addition, you may have other talents that can give you a sense of identity and self-confidence.

Some parents leave building social bonds a bit to their children. The children's schoolyard and sports club provide opportunities to engage other parents in establishing new social connections. Once the child has then left the home, these opportunities for building relationships fall away.

One way to still maintain social contact and be confident enough to do so is through guided visualization. This could be about connecting with other people, such as at your work or at your own sports club.

This guided visualization can go as follows:

"You've signed up for a workshop near you. You are enjoying yourself and you notice that you click with someone. After the workshop you look at the person, you smile and you say, 'I enjoyed it. I think it would be nice to keep in touch with you. Shall we become friends on Facebook/ exchange phone numbers?" Regardless of the answer. It feels good to take this step to establish and maintain your own social contacts. You go home feeling satisfied."

This is just an example of a guided visualization. Depending on your problems with legeness syndrome and how it affects your self-confidence, you may receive a different guided visualization.

Shifting focus to your own life

Your child is out of the house and you still think about him all the time. "Is he eating healthy? Is he cleaning up now?". These thoughts can cause you to inadvertently still get too involved with your child and you can become lonely.

Therefore, it is important to shift the focus back to yourself. To do what you feel like doing. To develop yourself in what you find interesting and to enjoy socializing with family and friends. And of course to take good care of yourself again, especially if that has slipped a bit in the last +- 20 years.

Shifting your focus is actually changing your beliefs about how you are in life as a person. Your subconscious may still be incredibly preoccupied with parenting, but that may now shift more to being your own.

Shifting focus is possible with so-called hypnotic suggestions. You can repeat these at home during self-hypnosis or listen to them if the hypnosis expert gives you an mp3 containing the hypnotic suggestions.

These may include suggestions such as:

"You don't have to feel guilty when you do something for yourself," says Dr. K. K., "but you can do something for yourself."

"You get to build your own life, separate from your children," he says.

"Your child is responsible for himself, your job is done."

"You may help your child if he/she asks for it."

These are just examples of hypnotic suggestions. Depending on your beliefs about your identity and life after your child leaves home, you may receive other suggestions.

When you want to practice self-hypnosis at home, you find a quiet place, which shouldn't be difficult now 😉 . You sit or lie down in a comfortable place and in comfortable clothes. No fabrics and elastic that distract you from relaxation.

You consciously relax your muscles and make sure you breathe evenly through your belly. Then you close your eyes and repeat the suggestions or listen to the mp3. If you have received an mp3 it often includes an induction that helps you with putting yourself into hypnosis.

So there are all kinds of ways hypnosis can help you reduce the symptoms of empty nest syndrome. Would you like to know exactly how this works and how you can use it to help yourself or others? Then come to the hypnosis workshop or sign up for one of the training courses offered by the Hypnosis Institute of the Netherlands.

[1] https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1177/0192513X09339020

[2] http://psycnet.apa.org/record/1979-06475-001