Dejected: Tips to become happy and energetic again
You're a little, mwha, bleh and not positive. Not totally negative either, but you notice that you are lifeless and have little desire to do anything. You are not cheerful either, but to speak of depression again is going too far. You are quick to call certain things boring and sad. In short, you are dejected.
Have you been suffering from this dejected feeling for too long now anyway? Then continue reading this blog to see what you can do about it
Dejected feeling
Now is it feeling dejected, depressed or just acting dejected?
If you suffer from dejection, you often suffer from the following characteristics:
- Impaired performance of work or sports
- Experiencing more anxiety than usual
- Experiencing more anger than usual
- Less energy than usual
- Less enthusiasm than usual
- Less happy/happy than usual
This feeling also has all kinds of effects on behavior—on what you do. Research shows, for example, that athletes feeling down hold back more, reevaluate the situation less often, are less confident in their ability to influence emotions, and are less convinced that it is even possible to regulate emotions.
This is incredibly frustrating, because by doing so, you’re placing the responsibility for changing that feeling of gloom outside of yourself.
Fortunately, there’s a lot you can do on your own to reduce feelings of low spirits and become happier and more cheerful again. This is also very important to do, because prolonged feelings of low spirits can lead to depression.
Finding the cause of dejection
To change your low mood, it’s important to identify the cause. There can be all sorts of reasons for feeling down. Maybe things aren’t going so well at work right now, or your relationship is going through a rough patch. There can be all sorts of reasons.
Often you feel betrayed, abandoned or just plain alone.
Not sure what the cause is? A hypnotherapist can help you identify it. This can be done, for example, through regression or a Socratic dialogue under hypnosis.
Added to this are a number of situations where being dejected is more common than you might think.
Dejected after quitting smoking
Even quitting smoking can make someone feel down. Feeling down after quitting smoking is more common than you might think. Suddenly, you don’t know what to do with yourself, and that relaxing smoke break is gone. The only moments of calm that come close to that now are grabbing a cup of coffee at the coffee machine and a quick trip to the restroom.
So, have you just kicked an addiction? That can leave you feeling a bit lost, but you should replace that feeling with a sense of relief that you’ve finally overcome that addiction.
Dejected after childbirth
Postpartum low mood is often caused by hormones. Especially after day 4, you may start to experience the “postpartum blues.” You get the overwhelming feeling that you might not be able to handle it all.
However, these blues are much less common in a home birth, which is why hospitals often change the setting in which you can get to know your baby.
Stopping dejection
If you know the cause of your low mood—such as insecurity or low self-esteem—there’s a lot you can do to stop feeling down.
Tip 1: Acknowledge that you are dejected
That you are reading this article is good news, because it means you are actually already implementing the first tip. Without acknowledging the problem, namely this negative mood, you are also not going to work toward a solution.
This leaves you anxious and perhaps even angry which has no good effects at all on your creativity, work and relationships.
Tip 2: Acknowledge that you are acting dejected
One of the first techniques you can apply to suffer less from dejection is to acknowledge not only that you are dejected, but that you are also dejected.
Doing is something that often happens in verbs.
You're thinking dejectedly.
You do lifeless.
You don't act excited.
By recognizing that dejection is also reflected in your behavior, you also recognize that you can change your dejected behavior. By acting differently, you can feel differently.
Tip 3: Smile and pay attention to your attitude
Emotions often affect your posture and facial expression. Fortunately, your facial expression and body posture also affect your emotions.
Smiling and really laughing out loud (fake) can really make you feel happier. Also, a more confident body posture, where you stand up straight with your chest out provides more confidence than if you just keep looking at your feet.
Tip 4: Be mindful about your thoughts
Many people think that their thoughts reveal who they really are, but that’s not true. For those around you—and, in fact, for yourself as well—what you do is what defines your identity.
When your thoughts make you feel dejected because they are mostly negative. Is that important to recognize, because you can change your thoughts.
For example, notice that you think, "No one likes me." Then think to yourself "The people who like me I just haven't found yet."
Notice when you think, "I can't do anything." Then think to yourself "That's not true, because I can....write, clean and X, and X."
This will help you break through negative thinking and allow you to focus on what is going well in your life.
Tip 5: Help someone worse off than you
Do you find it hard to be grateful for what you do have? Then try helping someone who is worse off than you. Helping others is good for your self-confidence and can also change your worldview.
You will find yourself becoming more grateful for what you have and more joyful just for helping other people. Your life will have a clear purpose as a result, making it easier to keep going.
Tip #6: Are you dejected by disappointment?
Check to see if you’re feeling down because of disappointment. Disappointment is something that happens to all of us in life. You might be disappointed in love because of a divorce. You might be disappointed because you lost your job.
You can also think of a major disappointment as a plot twist in your life. You didn't see this one coming for a moment.
Still, you need to move on again and regain your confidence in that part of your life. When you feel that you deserve more than what has happened to you, it is again very important to be mindful of your thoughts. It is important to accept the situation as it is and to take steps on your own to achieve (new) goals.
Tip 7: Find a hobby
Start doing something you enjoy doing. If you now think you don't enjoy doing anything at all, it's time to go on a quest. Try a new hobby every day or week just until you find something you like. This can include sports and art. So you can join soccer, or you can take up painting or even poetry to express emotions beautifully.
Scheduling me-time in which you do what you enjoy doing will already make you a lot happier.
Tip 8: Take a nap
Do you actually have way too much to do in a day and sit on the couch at night exhausted? Take a 30-minute nap when you get home, or on your break if you have the opportunity. The peace and quiet this brings can give you enough energy to be sociable to the other people in your home.
In addition, sleep deprivation is a major problem and often leads to more stress. Especially if you’re only sleeping 6 hours a night, you really should take that nap. Try to take it easy for a change!
Tip 9: Meet with friends and family
We humans are social creatures, so social contact is very important. Therefore, meet up with friends and family from time to time, even if only for a nice glass of soda in the garden or on the balcony (or go straight to an amusement park if you feel like it). It's all about the little things in life, then the big things will come naturally.
Tip 10: Move!
Going for a walk is enough, but you could also try dancing, yoga, or just heading to the gym. When you move, your body releases hormones that make you feel happy and content. This can go a long way toward alleviating even mild feelings of low spirits.
Would you like to learn more about mental techniques to improve your mental state? Then join a free online masterclass from the Hypnosis Institute of the Netherlands or read the book *Break Free!*
Pin this infographic as a reminder:
Sources:
https://www.frontiersin.org/articles/10.3389/fpsyg.2017.00470/full