Affirmation: Why this is important for yourself

You’ll find validation in many aspects of your life. On the one hand, you want validation about yourself. Everyone seeks validation from others throughout their lives—to know that they are okay and good enough , and that their view of reality aligns with the view of reality that other people have.

In addition, you can also seek confirmation that you think the right way about certain topics and people[1]. You are also someone who can give confirmation or influence someone with your power to confirm or not confirm someone.

Affirmation and your life role

Affirmation is important for developing your sense of "self" your " I" as it were[2].

Initially you get confirmation from another person that you exist, that person does not have to agree with you, but that confirmation can be a first step toward a relationship.

When you affirm someone you can imagine how they feel, what they think, what they would like and how they experience the world and communicate that to the other person in conversations.

By naming these things, you create not only a "self," but also a "we." That "we" can grow larger and larger until you have created a society of sorts. You create that we in different contexts, such as your personal relationships and business relationships. Therefore, sometimes you may feel that you cannot be yourself everywhere, as this may affect, for example, your economic situation (source 1).

Your influence of affirmation

You're probably familiar with the fact that many people primarily seek information that fits their view of the world. Information that confirms what they already think.

When you meet someone and you already have a certain opinion about that person, you often want to see confirmation about that opinion. You can then start shaping a social interaction so that the other person does have to start behaving the way you "want."

For example, when you expect a hostile attitude, you can already become hostile yourself. Of course, you will then receive a hostile attitude in return, and you will still feel that you were right[3]. Whereas if you had had a neutral attitude, a very nice conversation could have taken place.

If you see your own behavior correctly as a signal about what your bias is, you can often engage in a conversation neutrally (source 3).

Stigma and affirmation

If you’re dealing with a stigma, you may be on the receiving end of behavior from someone who wants to see their perception of you confirmed. For example, you may be overweight, and there may be a stigma attached to that. Communication about that stigmatized image can then pose a threat to your own self-image.

This behavior—where the other person wants to see their own stigma confirmed in you—does, in fact, affect your emotions, and that, in turn, can influence your behavior. The problem is that this can even change your self-image if you’re not able to handle it properly. You don’t even have to be aware of the prejudices other people have about you.

For example, if you don’t have any issues with being overweight and someone suddenly becomes very hostile about it—and that person is important to your work, for instance—this can cause a lot of stress.

You may also become anxious about being stigmatized and that people will see you as a certain stereotype. Unfortunately, that fear can also cause you to miss out on opportunities that you would otherwise have, regardless of whether you actually face that stigma.

Being able to handle this well is therefore important for your well-being, your performance, and your self-confidence[4].

Hypnotherapy and Confirmation

There are 4 ways you can use hypnotherapy to do something with affirmation. Initially, for example, it is important to get confirmation from your therapist the moment they see that you are in hypnosis. It is then helpful to know that you are in that state and that everything you are doing is going well.

A hypnosis specialist can tell by your posture, breathing and eyelids how deep you are in hypnosis and will then be able to confirm this to you.

Removing confirmation bias

Then the treatment can address how you want or don't want something with affirmation. For example, do you want to get rid of your idea that needs confirmation. Do you notice that you are leading conversations in a certain direction because of preconceived notions, but that in the end you are not helping yourself with this? Then a hypnotherapist can help you deal with certain prejudices in a different way, so that you don't let them influence your conversations with people you don't really know very well.

For example, you can break the unconscious rituals you have when you notice that you have a confirmation bias. You can then visualize how conversations go with people about whom you have a bias and when you usually (unconsciously) let the conversation go a certain way. Then you can mix up that visualization, making it no longer logical for your unconscious to go through that process.

Instead, you can then create a healthy normal visualization on how to engage in conversations with an open mind to your interlocutor.

This can be done by repeating certain suggestions, such as:

"Every human being is unique and can have unexpected sides," says Dr. K. K., the company's CEO.

"When I act neutral, I get to see the real person."

"I let the conversation run the way it runs," he said.

These are just examples. Depending on your specific challenges in interacting with others, a hypnotherapist can provide you with other suggestions to help you deal with confirmation bias.

Dealing with the confirmation bias of others

A third way a hypnotherapist can help you is to help your deal with the confirmation bias of others. Everyone always has an opinion about something, and some opinions are persistent. Like dumb blondes, lazy fatties, dumb smokers and the like. None of that is true at all, of course, but unfortunately not everyone understands that.

You always fit into a group, but how do you handle it when someone wants to put a sticker on you, and how do you make sure it doesn't cause you all kinds of stress?

In that case, boosting your ego, self-confidence and visualizing how to handle difficult situations where someone is clearly trying to put a sticker on you can be a way to avoid that stress. This is also something a hypnosis expert can help you with.

For example, if you know you are going to have certain conversations, you can think ahead of time about what you want to say and what you don't want to say. Then you can practice how to say nothing, or say something completely different when someone wants to give you a certain direction you don't agree with.

Removing the importance of affirmation

Affirmation also affects your identity. When your identity is affirmed, you know you’re on the right track to building a fulfilling social circle—at least, that’s how it should be.

If you only get affirmation at times when you are not actually yourself, it can be very annoying and tiring. Always putting on a play is neither enjoyable nor does it give you the affirmation you really want.

In order to be yourself, it is then helpful to remove the importance of affirmation. After all, you will eventually get affirmation anyway, but from people who do accept you as you are.

That's how everything works out after all.

With a hypnotherapist, for example, you can find out why certain forms of affirmation—or approval—are so important to you. One way to do this is through the regression technique. With this technique, you mentally go back to the first moment when you felt that affirmation was extremely important.

These are often moments from your childhood.

You then go on to do something with that moment. So you can reinterpret it, but with the knowledge about people and the world you have now. This alone can do a lot to change your beliefs about the importance of affirmation.

Something more may also be needed. In your mind, for example, you can also change the moment. In fact, for your mind, it doesn't matter whether something is real or fantasy to change the memory.

Even after such a regression, you can be given suggestions to repeat with self-hypnosis that will help you with self-confidence and strengthening your ego allowing you to better be yourself and, more importantly, give yourself affirmation.

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