Being a colleague is not easy for everyone, and there can be many reasons for that. In this blog, you are going to find out what being collegial actually means, what can hinder people from being collegial and what you can do to become the most popular colleague.
Collegiality
Collegiality is about working together within a company and having something for each other from time to time. You respect each other and help each other with work.
You would say this is not so difficult, but that is not true for everyone and not for every business.
In fact, there are certain factors that can get in the way of collegiality, such as:
- A competitive work environment
- Distrust
- Time pressure and overload
- Ambition
- Poor communication and feedback
The first and last features, that's something a company can still do something about themselves. For example, the reward system can work differently than competitive and a company can schedule moments for communication and feedback.
But distrust, time pressure and overload and ambition, that is something that is personal to everyone. One person is stressed in a different way than another person. So where one person experiences time pressure, another person experiences a nice flow.
It's important to do something about collegiality, though. For example, research shows that collegiality among teachers is important for improving the quality of work and for developing teacher skills. In addition, it is important for job satisfaction and for how connected you feel to the company[1].
It also allows you to have better social relationships, which in turn helps with the quality of your collaborations.
It's also good for your emotional health. It reduces stress and it can lower the risk of burnout[2].
Transitioning from student to master student also goes better at a training institute where there is a culture of collegiality[3].
Fellowship
At first you might think that helping each other is collegial behavior, and it is. However, there are many other ways to demonstrate collegial behavior, such as:
Sharing your knowledge so that colleagues can do your work too or do their work better.
Giving constructive criticism. It is very easy to say that someone is not doing something right, but by telling them what and how they can do better you make them feel good. After all, this provides perspective.
You can also show collegiality in personal problems by helping your colleague. Is someone sick in the family? Is your colleague going through a divorce ? By helping and cheering up your colleague you also show collegiality.
About this cheering up, you can also compliment your colleague and celebrate successes. This creates a nice feeling in the workplace and you boost each other's self-confidence.
Have you been working in a business for some time? Then you can take younger inexperienced colleagues under your wing as a kind of mentor.
These are just a few examples of collegiality, but it does show that there are multiple ways you can help your colleagues and show your collegiality.
Someone perceived as not collegiate often does not adhere to the above examples[4].
Collegiate or in love
Collegial behavior can sometimes seem very confusing when someone of the opposite sex acts collegial toward you. Sometimes you can think that maybe the other person is in love with you?
How can you actually make this distinction?
As a man or woman, you don't want to accidentally put someone in the me-too box either, and especially not when everything is well-intentioned and nice.
In romantic relationships the other person is a priority for you and in collegiality this is not the case (source 4). You are nice, but outside of work you don't try to meet up. At most at a company drink, but that includes other colleagues.
So if a colleague wants to see you outside of work and without other colleagues, you can assume this is meant romantically or at least amicably and is different from collegial.
Improve collegiality
If you are not yet so collegially minded, there are a few factors you can use to improve collegial behavior. For example, if work that needs to be done is seen as valuable it strengthens collegiality (source 4). So determine what the value of the work you do is.
In addition, being good at your job is also important for being able to give collegiality (source 4). Invest in gaining knowledge and mastering skills that are important to your work.
It also helps if you can find something that makes your relationship with your colleague equal. So even with your manager, you can think "yeah, but he's the same age as me" or "yeah, he also drives a Volvo." These kinds of things can make you feel a better connection which helps you be more collegial (source 4).
Also, if you have the same job in a company, for example, but in a different department, this can make you see the other as a colleague and sort of "equal," which helps to strengthen collegiality.
Even two freelancers in the same field can be collegial and thus support each other.
Be careful when improving collegial behavior that you do give a healthy degree of collegiality. You should not always be working overtime to help your colleagues. You too are entitled to a life of your own.
Even if you are very collegial, it is important to respect people who are less collegial for the reasons they may have that make their collegiality seem smaller, than if you give your all to your work yourself (source 4).
Sometimes you can't really help colleagues with anything because everything is flowing or you just have simple work. Then having a joint lunch break or drinks after work is a way to still build a good collegial bond with each other.
Mental steps for improving collegial behavior
We've just talked mostly about practical steps for improving collegiate behavior, but you can also get help if it's all not as easy as it seems in this blog.
At the beginning of the blog, we talked about a few elements that can reduce collegiality, namely: distrust, ambition and overload.
Surely these are often more personal issues that depend on your beliefs about how the world works and how you are supposed to function in it.
For example, if your childhood experiences have made you feel that people cannot be trusted, this makes it difficult to share your knowledge. What if someone takes advantage of it?
When you have ambition, you may feel because of past experiences that in order to achieve your goals that you have to "win" from other people, and that doesn't help to be kind. Seeing your peers as competition causes you not to help, for example, when they have a tough time, because you may feel that at least then you can win better.
Overwork is also inconvenient, because setting your boundaries can actually make you experience less stress and therefore help your colleagues in a different way than working overtime. If only because you are less snapping at them because you want to get on with your work quickly.
Hypnosis can help you remove these types of limiting beliefs that get in the way of collegiality. There are a variety of techniques for this. For example, with regression you can address the cause of limiting beliefs and change your ideas by interpreting your memories in a different way. In doing so, you repair the belief, so to speak[5].
Visualizations allow you to practice collegial behavior or even stating your boundaries, so to speak.
In addition, a coach can apply group hypnosis at work to make everyone a little freer in giving collegiality. By promoting relaxation and reducing stress, much can already be done. In addition, suggestions such as:
"The work I do is valuable."
"I have something to offer to my colleagues."
"It's okay to ask for help and to give help," says the company's director, "It's okay to ask for help and to give help."
"Together we are stronger."
These are just examples. Depending on your work issues, a hypnotherapist may offer other suggestions to encourage collegial behavior.
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