Everyone has experienced a situation in their life where you started blushing and didn't really want to. Blushing is your body's reaction to a certain emotion. All kinds of blood goes to your face and neck and before you know it you have a head as red as a tomato.
What annoys many people is that blushing is disastrous for your poker face. People can see how you feel in a certain situation without actually wanting to express it yourself. This is because your body responds to your subconscious.
This way, people can see, for example, that you are excited about giving a presentation. That you like someone of the opposite sex, or that you realize that certain behavior is actually not quite appropriate in a certain situation.
How does blushing occur?
Especially if you are around other people and aware of those other people, there is a slightly greater chance that you will blush. Unfortunately, that chance of blushing is increased if you are afraid of blushing. Not really a helpful fear, then[1].
Most people who suffer from blushing also have social anxiety-the fear that their "fear" will be visible to those around them. In a study where people who had problems with social anxiety and blushing were compared to people who did not have social anxiety, it was found that those people actually only blushed more than other people when watching a movie which triggered vicarious shame. But while holding a conversation or giving a presentation, they blushed just as much as people who did not suffer from social anxiety[2].
The nice thing about blushing is that it is also an activity of your body that makes you get away with making a social mistake. So if you make a mistake, such as making a bad joke, or you do something else that "shouldn't be done," but you blush, this causes people around you to forgive you for that mistake more quickly. People then still like you even though you may have done something that was not smart.
If you make a mistake, but you don't blush, the social consequences may even be worse, because you won't be "forgiven." This is because you then do not signal that you secretly do know you are doing something wrong[3].
You blush when you become aware that you are doing something that may come across as wrong to the other person. Especially if that connection with the other person is important to you, it makes you more likely to blush.
Actually, you want to flee, but that would have worse social consequences than staying put. So you keep standing and then blushing shows that you are aware of your social mistake[4].
Fear of blushing
So fear of blushing is not necessarily something that is necessary, but it can still bother you. Fear of blushing is often related to social anxiety. Research also shows that if children blush more often they are more likely to suffer from social anxiety later on. This study first looked at how often children blushed when talking to a stranger when they were 4.5 years old. Then they looked at their social anxiety when they were 7.5 years old and here they found that correlation(source 4).
So that in itself says nothing about adults and social anxiety and blushing, but it does give clues as to why blushing can be something you fear and that it is a signal of social anxiety.
Part of social anxiety is fear of appearing weird to other people (source 4). Blushing is a state of the body that you cannot control well and about which you may have been teased as a child/adolescent and/or student and therefore can contribute to social anxiety. This can cause you to stop putting yourself is social situations. Most social anxiety begins in people between the ages of 10 and 13 and this can become chronic if not addressed.
The fear of blushing is actually the shame you may feel when you blush. You are then very conscious of blushing and feel that it should not be (which is not true, by the way, blushing is part of being human) and you think you will be judged for it.
Getting rid of blushing
Getting rid of blushing is something that is very normal to want, but as you have read, blushing does not have to be a bad thing. In fact, this can work is your advantage.
But do you still suffer from unwanted blushing is situations where it doesn't work in your favor at all? Then it's time to ask yourself why you are blushing.
- Why is it important that certain people think well of you?
- Why do you think a certain situation or behavior of yours is not good, causing you to blush?
Your ideas about the social cost of blushing are often much more serious than they really are.
The following techniques are used to help people get rid of blushing:
- Confronting anxiety (such as just giving a presentation very often)
- Mindfulness on the task at hand
- Mindfulness in general
- Self-Compassion
- Cognitive behavioral training
- Social skills training
- Education in psyche of blushing (kinda what you're doing yourself right now as you read this)
- Relaxation exercises[5]
Hypnosis and self-hypnosis can also play a role in this. Cognitive behavioral therapy, for example, can be combined with hypnosis. With hypnosis, you can also find out what beliefs you have about what people notice about you and how much importance people attach to it. If those beliefs are wrong, you can change them with hypnotherapy.
In addition, self-hypnosis allows you to do relaxation exercises , improve self-compassion and visualize how to handle certain social situations absolutely perfectly, reducing anxiety and therefore blushing during those social situations.
Helping people who suffer from blushing
Instead, if you are a (hypno)therapist helping people who suffer from blushing, there are a number of techniques you can use to help people get rid of blushing, or at least the fear of blushing.
At least in the preliminary interview, you can already find out in what kind of situations people get bothered by this and with which people they don't want to blush.
Then, in hypnosis, you can help people get to the root cause. With regression , for example, you can take people back to the first moment when they thought blushing was a problem. These are often moments in childhood, because that is when people figure out how the world works and how you are "supposed" to function in it.
You then go on to help the person do something with that moment so that the memory is retrieved in a different way than usual and so that the belief that blushing is bad can be taken away. You fix the moment, so to speak[6].
In addition, you can bring new suggestions that reduce self-compassion, self-confidence and fear of blushing. These may include suggestions such as:
"Blushing is very normal, and people often find this amusing," he said.
"Blushing especially works to my advantage."
"It's okay to make mistakes."
"I'm good enough."
These are just examples. Depending on the client's problems with blushing, you can bring other suggestions.
You can also help clients with relaxation exercises, such as visualizing a place where they feel completely safe.
You can then anchor this feeling so they can retrieve this feeling at times when blushing might happen. Then, for example, people can give a presentation or go on a date with more relaxation.
Learning hypnosis against blushing
Want to learn more about hypnosis and how you can use it to help yourself and others? Then come to the free online master class on hypnosis.
Want to help people with social anxiety and other problems right? Then enroll in one of our trainings. Training courses are delivered live online or in classrooms. Choose a training format that suits you.
Instead, do you suffer from blushing and would like to get rid of it? Then visit bestetherapeut.co.uk.
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