Being Yourself: 16 Tips for Being Happy with Yourself
Do you often feel with others that you cannot be yourself? Do you have an automatic reaction to put on a mask and be a character you're really not at all? Not being yourself can make you unhappy. After all, being someone other than yourself is a lot of work and it can be very tiring.
That's why in this article I'll discuss how you can be yourself, on your own and also when you're with other people.
Being unsure of yourself
A big cause of not being able to be yourself is because you are insecure about yourself. You feel you are not good enough and therefore try to be a "perfect" version of something you are not.
What may also be the case is that you are unsure of yourself in some situations. For example, when you are at work or have a new love. You can then try to hide elements of yourself where you are insecure and show an "improved" version of yourself. The only downside is that that "improved" version of yourself is not an improved version at all.
Another drawback is that if you are insecure about yourself and put on a mask of certainty this can cause you to experience a lot of stress.
After all, what if people find out you are insecure?
A while back, I spoke with someone who was very troubled by that mask. While at work, she regularly went to the bathroom to "turn away" from the mask. This resulted in crying fits that had to be quickly covered up with makeup.
Eventually, she came to the realization that this could not continue. The toilet visits began to be noticed and people increasingly asked her if she was okay, "of course" was often the answer while the panic for "discovery" set in.
Realizing that this was not helpful, she started looking for help to better deal with that insecurity . Eventually she came to me and we explored where that insecurity came from and how she could be happy with herself.
In the end, her boss and colleagues were pleased with her, too. This is evidenced by the questions if she was doing well. Surely that speaks of concern.
Being happy with yourself
Of course, it’s impossible to be happy with yourself 100% of the time, but being happy with yourself more than half the time is still better than never being happy with yourself.
But when are you actually happy with yourself? You can determine whether you are happy on a few elements in your life namely:
- Your work
- Your social interactions
- Your behavior
- Your relationships
Being happy with yourself at work
Being happy with yourself at work can mean several things. Namely, whether you are happy with the work you do or whether you are happy with how you do your work. If you answer no to either of these two questions, you can take steps to be happy with your work.
For many people, for example, it is liberating to start for yourself or at least take steps to find a new job.
If you’re not happy with how you’re doing your job, you can decide how you do want to do it. Mindfulness at work can be a good way to improve this.
Be happy with your social interactions
Another way to be happier with yourself is to see if you are happy with your social interactions. Are you happy with the conversations you have or do you often blurt out something you didn't really want to say at all?
Is it conversations with colleagues that don't add up or conversations with friends?
By practicing mindfulness during conversations, you ensure that emotions don’t take over what you say, allowing you to continue speaking rationally. Of course, you’ll still feel those emotions, but because you’re more aware of them, they have less influence, and you’re less likely to blurt out something you’ll regret.
Being happy with your behavior
Are you a master procrastinator, and are you actually starting to get fed up with it? Do you often eat junk food and then regret it every time? After a week of lounging on the couch, do you feel like you haven ’t exercised enough again? Do you constantly go along with other people’s habits even though they don’t suit you?
Behaving the way you actually want to can really help you feel good about your behavior. One way to change your behavior is to identify what’s holding you back. This can be done, for example, through a regression session during hypnotherapy.
Another way to be happy with your behavior is to follow a 30-day challenge for the behaviors you want and that make you happy.
Be happy with your relationships
The way you handle your relationships can also be a reason why you’re not being yourself. You might ask yourself if you’re happy with the relationships you have and if you can be yourself in those relationships. Then you can ask yourself why that is.
Sometimes you also just have to take a risk and be yourself to see how the other person reacts.
Being honest with yourself
Being yourself is not always easy. That's why it's important to be honest with yourself. With everything discussed above, it is important to be honest with yourself in order to be completely yourself.
If you feel uncomfortable in a situation, it is important to consider whether this is because you feel you are being inhibited, that you cannot do what you want to do.
Being yourself in a relationship
Being yourself in a relationship is very important. People with a love addiction often adapt to the image they think their partner likes. But really, you should have a partner who likes you just the way you are and who loves you precisely because of who you are.
To be yourself in a relationship, you can practice mindfulness. This can also help deepen the bond with your partner.
In the process, your partner will also like it more when you are happy with yourself. As a result, you don't have to be forced to be enthusiastic.
Also be sure not to give up your own social life for your partner, which is also a part of you.
In doing so, it also helps to give your partner space to be themselves. That gives good karma and therefore you can be yourself too.
Tips for being yourself
So there are several things you can do to be yourself. I will clearly state a few more tips.
- Tip 1: Determine what makes you insecure and if that makes it difficult for you to be yourself.
- Tip #2: Determine what it means to be yourself.
- Tip 3: Visualize what it looks like when you do become yourself.
Visualizing what it looks like when you are yourself makes the step to also be who you are much smaller. It shows the possibilities when you release blockages and break beliefs that get in your way.
Visualizations you can perform while performing self-hypnosis. If you find this difficult, you can also have a guided visualization during a hypnotherapy session. The hypnotherapist will then ask you beforehand something about how you see yourself when you are yourself and can then help you with a visualization.
- Tip 4: Determine in what part of your life you are not being yourself - your work, in conversations, in relationships or elsewhere.
- Tip 5: Don't change yourself for the sake of a job or relationship.
- Tip 6: If you can't be yourself in business, see how you can change this at work or with other work.
- Tip 7: Use mindfulness in conversations, so you can consciously control what you say and don't say.
- Tip 8: Uncover the block that is preventing you from being who you want to be, this can be done with regression therapy.
- Tip 9: Use a 30-day challenge to encourage behaviors you actually want.
- Tip 10: Repel people (as much as possible) from your life who prevent you from being yourself.
- Tip #11: Just be yourself once to see how everyone else reacts, it will be not too bad.
- Tip 12: Be honest with yourself in every situation.
- Tip 13: Don't change yourself for a loved one. He/she must love you as you are.
- Tip 14: Don't give up your own social life for a love; integrate it.
- Tip 15: Give your partner space to be themselves, too.
- Tip 16: Use mindfulness in your relationship to avoid suddenly not being yourself.
Also, watch this video about being yourself.
There are many more things you can do to be yourself. Would you like to learn more? Then come to a seminar or check out the courses offered by the Hypnosis Institute of the Netherlands.