Self-destructive: Hypnosis for when you get in your own way

A person who is self-destructive can't actually believe that life is going well for once and then has to do something to still get that unpleasant feeling again that he or she thinks belongs to them.

Indeed, people who suffer from low self-esteem, low self-esteem and/or guilt can become self-destructive just when life is going a little better. Because they feel they do not deserve this, they can then suffer from self-destructive thoughts and even self-destructive behavior.

Self-destructive thoughts

A person doesn't just become self-destructive. Self-destructive thoughts often precede this first. People then have a kind of thought voice in their head that spits out all kinds of negative thoughts. People often become angry. This often precedes self-destructive behavior[1].

But these kinds of negative thoughts don't just happen either. People who suffered abuse or other trauma in childhood where boundaries were crossed, such as unwanted kissing or being touched, are more likely to suffer from self-destructive thoughts and behaviors in their adult lives[2].

Also, interrupting who your caregivers are, such as through divorce or the death of one of the parents can cause people to suffer from self-destructive behavior later in life[3].

Experiencing something bad is not always a prerequisite for self-destructive behavior. People with mental problems, such as those with borderline disorder, can also suffer from self-destructive behaviors and thoughts. People who are highly neurotic, extroverted and like to do things "right" and who have borderline disorder are at a higher risk of self-destructive behavior[4].

Depressive symptoms and other mental disorders also often create more negative thoughts and self-destructive thoughts.

Self-destructive behavior

Self-destructive behavior can include hurting yourself and even committing suicide (call 113 if you're thinking about this). Self-destructive behavior can also be a lot less obvious, such as when you neglect your health or ignore dangerous situations and thus do not seek safety. The more subtle forms of self-destructive behavior are often seen in people suffering from addiction[5].

Recognizing Self-Destructive Being

It is not always obvious to people that they are suffering from self-destructive thoughts or behaviors. Some symptoms of this include:

1. Damaging yourself (by scratching or burning).
2. You use way too much booze or drugs.
3. You drive recklessly or engage in unprotected sex.
4. You no longer take good care of yourself (laundry, healthy eating, regular exercise).
5. You sabotage your work or school so you don't become successful.
6. You keep thinking thoughts of self-hatred, guilt or shame.
7. You don't think your situation will ever get better.
8. You are pessimistic about the future.
9. You don't do friends and/or family anymore.
10. You argue with family, friends and/or colleagues.

Do you recognize this in yourself or others? Then ask for help. After all, there is a bright future. The best time of your life is yet to come.

Treatment to stop being self-destructive

Generally, people receive cognitive behavioral therapy to stop unhealthy thought and behavior patterns , and this is also used against self-destructive behavior. In the process, it also helps you learn more about regulating your emotions[6].

For young people, this often includes family therapy[7].

For people who suffer from self-destructive thoughts and behaviors due to depression, hypnosis combined with cognitive behavioral therapy does a good job of treating depression. This is often faster with hypnosis than when cognitive behavioral therapy alone is used without hypnosis[8].

Hypnotherapy can also be used very well to stop self-destructive behaviors and thoughts. In a study of a woman who suffered from these types of thoughts, it was found that it helped her to think less negatively and be more positive in certain situations[9].

Her treatment addressed her self-image, personality, moods, stress and physical symptoms. She was helped with progressive relaxation, visualizations, restructuring her thoughts and practicing new desired behaviors[10].

Hypnotherapy can also play a role for actual self-destructive behavior. Indeed, a study on the use of hypnotherapy with adolescents who self-harmed found that it works to get adolescents to stop self-harming[11].

Hypnosis to stop self-destructive behavior

So hypnosis works to stop self-destructive behavior, but how does it work? As mentioned, techniques such as progressive relaxation, visualizations and restructuring thoughts and behaviors were used.

If you are a hypnotherapist and you are going to help people who are self-destructive it is first important to find out what beliefs are causing this.

Discovering beliefs

Beliefs are thoughts people have about how the world works and how they are "supposed" to function in it. These are different for everyone, but many of these beliefs are formed in childhood.

This also explains why children who face abuse and adults who overstep their boundaries in their adult lives struggle to properly monitor their boundaries and think positively about themselves.

In fact, those beliefs give a hypnotherapist good guidance on the techniques that can be used to treat self-destructive behavior.

Improve self-confidence

When someone finds themselves worthless, and therefore becomes self-destructive, it is important to improve beliefs about themselves and strengthen self-love .

To help people with this, at Hypnosis Institute Netherlands we teach the magic mirror technique. This is often a technique used at the end of a session. In this way, self-confidence is increased and the idea of all there is to enjoy and achieve in life is placed even more firmly in the subconscious mind.

After all, without a positive self-image, it is difficult to stop self-destructive behavior.

Breaking self-destructive patterns

As a hypnotherapist, you can also help people recognize and break patterns. For this, you also help people with a little mindfulness and recognizing how emotions feel in their bodies.

This feeling is important during hypnotherapy anyway, as it allows you to verify how effective the techniques used are.

By mapping patterns, a hypnotherapist can help by completely overturning this pattern for a while. This can be done, for example, through a bizarre visualization. And visualizations can also be used to show the subconscious that certain periods of life are really over.

After all, an unpleasant experience or period from your childhood is no longer an issue, so showing that it is over is also important so that the subconscious mind can stop sabotaging itself.

These types of techniques also help with mind restructuring.

Restructuring behaviors

Changing behavior is often something that follows changing thoughts. However, you can also help people by replacing unwanted behaviors with desired ones. For example, if someone starts scratching themselves at certain feelings, this can be replaced by actually doing a small workout or giving themselves a hug.

These kinds of techniques can be used for all kinds of problems. For example, I once helped a woman who, instead of eating a cookie in the kitchen, started cleaning her floor. As a result, she lost weight and her kitchen was cleaner than ever.

How fast does hypnotherapy work?

The great thing about hypnotherapy is that it often works faster than normal psychotherapy. As a result, people are often rid of their problem in three sessions. This may very well apply to self-destructive behavior as well.

In the first session, you explore the problems and ask the client what he or she thinks is the reason they are self-destructive. During this conversation, you can already explore how someone is thinking and how compliant the person is.

You also then explain what hypnosis is and what people can expect from it. You can then also bring people into hypnosis and help them in advance with a relaxation exercise so they know what it feels like and that it is completely safe.

The second session often involves the "work" of changing beliefs and restructuring thoughts to stop self-destructive behaviors. In this session, the client may also be given homework in the form of self-hypnosis.

The third session, usually a week or 2 later, looks at how the client's life has improved and whether the problem has actually been solved. If not, you continue the techniques for a while to transform everything properly.

Transforming your life with hypnosis

Transforming yourself or others can be done with knowledge of hypnosis. Want to help people stuck in the vicious cycle of self-destructive behavior? Then knowledge of hypnosis can be incredibly helpful.

Join us for a free master class to learn more about the basics of hypnosis.

Or register right away for one of our events or trainings so you can help people as a coach or therapist.

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