You can feel very vulnerable, but there are also many people with a sense of invulnerability. What is that like and why does one person feel invulnerable and another person feel very vulnerable? In this blog, I explore that in more detail
Meaning Invulnerability
What does it really mean to be vulnerable or invulnerable? Invulnerable means that something or someone is so strong or firm that nothing can harm it/they[1].
Of course, a human is not made of stone, so somewhere you could say that a human is inherently vulnerable, but to what extent is that true?
What about psychological invulnerability or just vulnerability.
The interesting thing is that Confucius linked vulnerability to:
- Open are
- Being sensitive to others, to their emotions and circumstances
- Being sensitive to changes in the world[2].
Interestingly, other researchers actually link these traits to invulnerability. On the contrary, it is part of being human to change with others when necessary and to engage in discussion when appropriate, but that in doing so you can respond to circumstances and emotions of others.
What happens because of this is that you often have a hard time sticking to an ego-driven identity, because sometimes you have to handle things more skillfully than your ego wants you to. You get a conflict, so to speak, in values that you think are important.
So even if you're very firm, that can cause people you care about to think you're just stubborn or something. How invulnerable is that really?
But what is vulnerability then?
Vulnerability often represents being weak and sensitive[3]. Practically speaking, this often means that you too easily go along with what other people want. For example, research shows that youth who have not been treated well in the past often contribute more to social games than youth who have not been treated poorly. Vulnerable youth then do this to reduce the likelihood of hostility, but this also allows their benevolence to be more easily exploited[4].
Your ego can also protect you from this, of course, but to what extent is it all useful?
Thoughts and invulnerability
For example, if you find that you feel like you always have to defend yourself or have a kind of attitude of "the first blow is worth a die" (i.e., that you always go on the attack as a defense), that's not helpful either.
So you can feel vulnerable even if you are invulnerable. What could this be due to?
In general, your thoughts and mindset determine how you feel.
For example, you may suffer from:
- Attack thoughts
- Defense thoughts
For example, if you have attack thoughts, you also see the attack as a real threat. This is also because you think you can attack. What is affected by you also affects you.
You project your attack thoughts and therefore you fear an attack. When you fear it, you believe you are vulnerable.
If attack thoughts cause you to believe you are vulnerable, then attack thoughts are actually always attacking you.
Because you believe in those thoughts, it's harder to believe in yourself. Then a false image of yourself has taken the place of what you are.
Exercise:
Feeling vulnerable or invulnerable is the result of your thoughts. To deal with this differently, I have a fun exercise for you.
You can do this exercise six times a day for about two minutes or one minute if it becomes uncomfortable.
First, repeat out loud this idea:
"My attack thoughts are attacking my invulnerability."
Close your eyes and look at unresolved problems whose outcomes worry you. Those concerns may take the form of depression, anxiety, anger, feeling a burden, fear, impending doom or obsession.
Any hitherto unsolved problem that pops into your mind repeatedly is a suitable topic.
You spend time on every problem.
First name the situation:
"I worry about ...."
For example, "I worry about all the measures being taken."
Then review every possible outcome that came to mind with that problem that worried you.
Designate each outcome very specifically with the words "I am afraid that ... is happening."
For every situation that comes to mind, you can have five to six (or perhaps more) troubling outcomes. It is then more convenient to go through a few situations than to look at more situations.
When you have named that fear say to yourself:
"That thought is an attack on myself."
You repeat this with any outcome that concerns you.
Then end the practice period with the idea, "My attack thoughts are attacking my invulnerability."
Also listen to this podcast:
https://www.buzzsprout.com/195236/7489333-eciw-les-26
Become Invulnerable
In this way, it is much easier to become socially invulnerable. In fact, you become invulnerable because you can interact with people in a social manner and skillfully set your boundaries.
But how to do this?
A hypnotherapist can help you change your view of vulnerability and invulnerability to something that makes your life easier and more enjoyable.
You don't have to build a (mental) wall around yourself to be invulnerable.
Indeed, some people take the idea of invulnerability a little too far and actually suffer from narcissism as a result . They get a sense of grandeur, superiority and as if the world has to give them something. This form of narcissism is familiar to most people.
Other people who again treat vulnerability strangely may develop another form of narcissism, becoming super sensitive and preoccupied with themselves a lot. This is also called vulnerable narcissism, which form is somewhat less well known.
You tend to be very self-conscious, socially insecure and defensive. Usually, people with this form of narcissism are also introverted and may suffer from neurotic traits.
What is also interesting is that these two problems can originate in your upbringing and due to other cultural social factors[5].
Especially interesting is that the cause is often in childhood, in which case the hypnotherapist can perform regression with you.
With regression, you explore moments when beliefs were created such as: "I need to be invulnerable and that means I don't let anyone in." Those moments are often I your childhood, because that's when you determine what the world is like and how you can or should function in it. Later in your childhood, you may get the idea that you are better than others if you suffer from the most well-known form of narcissism, but so you can also get the vulnerable form.
For example, you may think that society should give you something because something is bothering you.
If you have figured out this moment with your hypnotherapist, you can reinterpret the moment. You may have had the example of your parents not letting anyone in and pretending they were above certain situations, but with your knowledge now, you may be able to better imagine what they were thinking and why they did what they did.
In doing so, you can also tell younger selves in your mind that it is okay to be vulnerable and that that is precisely something that makes you invulnerable. In this blog, it sounds a bit short-sighted, but a hypnotherapist will help you through this step by step, whether you suffer from narcissistic traits or just the feeling that invulnerability is unattainability.
In addition, you can also repeat suggestions to make yourself more socially invulnerable, such as:
"I get to empathize with other people."
"I get to set my limit."
"I get to give alternatives when something doesn't suit me," he said.
"It's okay to have to puzzle at times," he said.
These are just examples. Depending on your problems with invulnerability, you may be given other suggestions to suffer less from this.
Invulnerability and loneliness
Young adults may also suffer from feelings of invulnerability that cause them to become lonely(6). The interesting thing is that loneliness is a subjective feeling.
For example, you can have dozens of friends, but because of that wall of invulnerability and because you don't open up, you can't experience the depth in those relationships that you need, for example. As a result, you may still feel lonely.
A hypnotherapist can also help you break through that wall. For example, by removing fears about what is on the other side of that wall.
So invulnerable is definitely something you can be, but in this you must include being human. It is important to see that making yourself vulnerable is precisely a signal of invulnerability, and your love creates love from others, just as your attack creates attacks from others.
Want to know how to use hypnosis to solve these kinds of problems? Then come to the free online master class on hypnosis.
Or enroll in one of our training courses.
[1] https://www.encyclo.nl/begrip/ONKWETSBAAR
[2] https://www.pdcnet.org/resphilosophica/content/resphilosophica_2019_0096_0003_0391_0400
[3] https://www.encyclo.nl/begrip/Kwetsbaarheid
[4] https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/abs/10.1111/desc.12765
[5] https://internal-journal.frontiersin.org/articles/10.3389/fpsyg.2017.01600/full
6. http://ceur-ws. org/Vol-2524/paper20.pdf
