Living in the past: How to get back into the now

Edwin Selij
Aug. 03, 2021

Living in the past is actually something we all do to a greater or lesser extent. Everything you see, for example, you give meaning through the past. You recognize things for what they are because you learned what they are in the past

Everything you believe in is rooted in time. For example when you look at a cup, do you really see that cup? Do you see a cup or are you looking at your past experiences with the cup? That you pick it up, that you are thirsty, that you drink from it or that you feel it?

You may have associations of a breakfast, lunch or coffee shop. Everything is based on your past experiences. How else can you know what a cup is and what you can do with it? That it can break.

If you hadn’t learned all this, you wouldn’t have known it.

So do you really see it or do you only see the past?

If you live extremely much in the past when you see something, it can be helpful to break free from it. Because then you can learn something new and see something new.

This may take some time to get right.

Why are you living in the past?

One reason you might find yourself living in the past is that you’ve experienced a major change in your life. For example, people who have developed chronic fatigue syndrome may struggle with this. As a result, they may have difficulty planning for the future[1].

Such a change can lead to a kind of identity crisis, causing you to think in terms of your “former self” and your “current self”—as if they were two different people.

Research also shows that thinking about the past generally has no benefits, while thinking about the future does. Thinking about the now has mixed results[2]. In general, you start thinking about the past more as you get older. In itself very logical, but not always helpful.

What you think about also depends on the signals you encounter on a daily basis. For example, the cup is one such signal that triggers you to think about something.

People who live primarily in the past are more likely to suffer from depression, feel worse, and be more dissatisfied with their lives.

They are more likely to suffer from:

Another issue may be that you’re living in the past because you’re having trouble grieving. A traumatic event is often a reason to dwell on the past and can also trigger a kind of grieving process. Usually, you have to let go of a naive version of yourself, and that can be very difficult[3].

Effect of living in the now or the future

It’s much more helpful to keep your thoughts in the present—or even in the future. For example, if you think about the present more often, this leads to a greater sense of well-being and a more positive self-image. However, people who are more present tend to be more aggressive, take more risks, are more prone to procrastination, and are often reactive rather than proactive.

Thinking about the future has no obvious correlation with well-being. People who live in the future with their thoughts are more likely to have goals, be proactive and not put things off easily.

They also often place greater importance on their health, the environment, volunteering, social behavior, their academic performance, and their careers (see source 2).

As you can see, thoughts allow you to be more in the now and with the future. This can be more convenient and enjoyable for you than if your thoughts are mostly in the past.

But how do you go about it?

Exercise:

On everything you see you can say:

"I only see the past in...X"

Don't dwell on one thing, but do so with multiple objects and perhaps even people.

Sometimes you may get some stronger associations with people, for example, but this is really just like a book or pencil.

Don't dwell on just one thing or leave something out. On the contrary, do this with your partner and children as well, don't leave them out.

You can do this for one minute and then three times a day, for example.

Also listen to the explanation for this exercise:

https://www.buzzsprout.com/195236/7158538-eciw-les-7?play=true

Hypnosis to let go of your past

Fortunately, if the above exercise doesn't help you very much, there is more you can do. For example, you can also do a lot with hypnosis to let go of your past and live more in the now and in the future.

For example, sometimes you have a certain memory that really bothers you. A hypnotherapist can help you let go of that memory—perhaps by changing your perspective on it.

In general, it’s difficult to let go of the past if, for one reason or another, it has become important to you. Why this is the case often depends on your beliefs. A hypnotherapist can help you discover which unconscious thoughts or beliefs are causing you to keep thinking about it.

You can then release that memory in multiple ways. For example, you can ridicule the belief, causing it to lose power. This also makes the memory more unimportant.

One way you can do this is to turn it into a kind of old black-and-white video film and come up with this kind of funny piano music underneath.

A hypnotherapist can help you practice this technique practically.

Hypnosis to process trauma

What often happens is that you think a lot about the past because you have experienced something traumatic. Not being able to place the memory then causes you to be unable to let it go. It is incomprehensible and you want to understand it, but because it is incomprehensible to you, you simply cannot.

Hypnotherapy is used, among other things, to treat PTSD. There are several techniques that can be employed, such as altering memories as described above.

With regression, you can also go back to another moment that still causes you to think a lot about the past and reinterpret that moment with the knowledge you have now, allowing you to become more detached from the past and look toward the future again.

Another way to spend less time dwelling on the past and thinking about things that weren’t pleasant back then—or things you did yourself that you regret—is through self-acceptance and self-love.

For example, while in hypnosis you can repeat a suggestion, such as:

"Even though I suffer from X, I fully accept and love myself."

And

"Even though I suffer from X, I completely forgive myself and others who may have contributed to it."

At least for a shorter period of time, this can make you suffer less from the past and refocus on the now and the future[4].

Forgiving others and yourself is also a good way to let go of hatred and hurt feelings[5]. These are also feelings that can cause you to keep dwelling on those moments that make you so angry and so hurt.

Hypnosis to look to the future again

A more advanced technique to help you stop living in the past is the technique where you actually look to your future. This advanced technique taught in the third course or third year helps you look to your future.

You then visualize, with the help of the hypnotherapist, what your life will look like in, say, a year from now, and then you take one step back each time until you are in the chair with the hypnotist.

This gives you a clear plan to achieve that vision of the future, and that also helps you have focus on the future.

Would you like to know how hypnosis works and how you can use it to help yourself and others? Then join us for the free online masterclass on hypnosis.

Or sign up right away for one of our training programs.

Sources:

[1] https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/08870440701757393

[2] https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S2352250X18300393

[3] https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/00029157.1990.10402833

[4] https://energypsychologyjournal.org/editorial-essay-touching-brain-energy-therapies-use-brains-innate-reprocessing-systems-heal-psychological-trauma/

[5] https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1177/1066480701092012