I don't like my child: Now what?

You finally, or unexpectedly, become a father or mother. You have a little one. The baby, of course, is just a baby; there's not much you can do about that. But as your child gets older, you may find that it all gets a little disappointing.

What if you wake up one day and you think "I don't like my child." That's not helpful at all, because your child will always be your child. So what can you do to change this feeling toward your child?

There are several moments in your child's life when you may be balking at it. In this blog, we take a brief look at those moments and how hypnosis might help you then.

When your child is still small

Small children are treasures and monsters in one. One of the monstrous problems small children can have is that they won't eat what you have prepared.

Every meal is a struggle to get enough nutrition into your child's body, and this can have negative effects on your bond with your child, such as not liking your child at all. You may also suffer from anxiety about feeding your child as a result, and that doesn't help the cause either[1].

After all, it's no fun when you've done your best to serve a delicious healthy meal only to have it tossed aside by the little prince or princess.

In situations like this, you might start to like your child a lot more if things just go a little more smoothly. With knowledge of child hypnosis, you can help your child change their perception of taste so that they’ll actually enjoy eating vegetables, for example.

The great thing about child hypnosis is that it actually works the same as adult hypnosis, but you adapt the language you use to the child's level and experience.

You can also use self-hypnosis or see a hypnotherapist to help you avoid taking your child’s behavior personally. For example, you can examine your own beliefs about parenting, children’s behavior, and how you think things should be.

Maybe these don't make sense at all, or even hinder you from building a good relationship with your child. This may be very unconscious, but figuring that out is something a hypnotherapist will help you with.

In any case, researchers indicate that in addition to improving the bond between parent and child, hypnosis helps parents communicate with their child. So that they establish a fine bond and promote rather than hinder the achievement of goals[2].

When your child is puberty

If your child is a little older, seems almost grown up, but still makes really foolish decisions, then your child is going through puberty. During this period, they want to be independent and think they know everything better. They don’t really realize that you ’ve already gone through this stage of life yourself—and even if they did, they’d say that was “back then” when everything was “different.” So what do you really know, anyway? 😉

That can be quite annoying.

Even with adolescents, knowledge of hypnosis is useful for parenting and to keep everything a bit in check. Especially for character development[3]. So if your child's character does not suit you. Suppose your child does not yet have perseverance or something similar, you can influence that with clever suggestions.

If your child is an adult

If your child is already an adult, there is little you can do to change your child. After all, you don't see your child on a daily basis. So then you can really only work primarily with yourself.

For parents of adult children, it is often especially important to know for yourself that you have done your best and that how your child is now is really his or her own choice.

You can't really do more than be there for your child.

Right now, it’s especially important to set your own boundaries with your child . So, with compassion, make it clear what you can and cannot do for your child. For example, if your child asks for a lot of money, and you don’t have it or can’t give it for another reason, it’s important to let them know.

What place does your child have?

Regardless of your child’s age, you can use the “social panorama ” hypnosis technique to improve the bond between you and your child.

We've heard stories of parents who had a child who literally told them they didn't love him or her, but the other parent did. Of course, that doesn't make you happy. This parent applied the social panorama.

With this technique, you determine where you place your family members. You imagine yourself standing in an empty room and then decide where your partner stands and where your children stand.

Then you can move those people in your mind, and that can produce amazing results[4]. I noticed this myself with my oldest son when he was already in puberty, and we hear stories from others for whom this has worked with young children.

By changing something in themselves, somehow the bond with the child changed immediately, and this was reflected in the child's communication, which became much more loving.

It can be your own hypnosis

In addition, it's always good to double-check that it's not your own problem. For example, how did one of your parents view you? Did they not like you at all? And are you now completely accidentally copying this? Did you copy that hypnosis[5]?

At the Hypnosis Institute of the Netherlands, we also refer to this as a generational problem— something that is unconsciously passed down from generation to generation until someone is smart enough to notice it and do something about it.

You have a sickly child

Life isn’t always easy, and some people have a child with a chronic illness that’s very challenging. A severe form of autism , for example, can be very stressful for parents, which undermines the joy of parenting.

In cases like this, hypnosis can also be a godsend to change your outlook on the impact of the disease and to have a way to cope with the stress the disease brings.

Research on the impact of hypnotherapy on parents of children with autism shows that it helps reduce worries about your child’s future . This helps reduce stress caused by those worries, which is beneficial for your overall well-being as a parent and allows you to enjoy parenthood more[6].

Does your child have not a chronic disease, but a (potentially) deadly one? If so, things are just as exciting. In cases like this, hypnosis can be beneficial for parents and child. Research shows that hypnosis can be used to relieve the anxiety, fatigue and stress caused by a seriously ill child. This can also improve your mutual relationship with the child and the other parent[7].

It's secretly more about parenting itself

It may not even be because of your child that you don't like your child, but because of parenting itself. Not being able to sleep in anymore, always making responsible choices, the poopy diapers, the sassy nature of an adolescent, the extra costs. It's just not what you expected.

In that case, hypnosis can also be a solution.

Your expectations about parenthood can be adjusted, allowing you to shift your focus from what you don’t like about being a parent to what you do like about it.

Through gratitude exercises, regression, and other techniques, you can already do a lot to feel more satisfied with your role as a parent.

With knowledge of hypnosis, you can get a lot done with self-hypnosis. In the process, with the knowledge of hypnosis, you can also help other parents enjoy parenthood more, experience less stress, and be able to express love to their child without barriers.

Would you like to learn more about what hypnosis can do and what it can mean for you and others? Then join us for the free online masterclass.

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Also, pin this infographic as a reminder:

Sources:

[1] https://www.paediatricsandchildhealthjournal.co.uk/article/S1751-7222(17)30091-4/fulltext