Need help with depression? Start by doing things differently

You don’t have anxiety—you ’re creating anxiety. You don’t have trauma—no, you’re creating trauma. You don’t have depression—you ’re creating depression.

And before you completely lose it, climb into the curtains, and think, “Who does this Selij think he is to say that?”, take a deep breath. Stay calm. I’m going to explain it to you in detail. Because this seemingly harsh statement isn’t meant to hurt you. It’s actually the biggest opportunity of your life.

I write about this in detail in my books, including *Break Free* and the book I wrote afterward, aptly titled *You Don’t Have It, You Do It*.

When that last book came out, I was hit with a barrage of questions. People were deeply moved—sometimes frustrated, sometimes angry. What do I really mean by this? Let me start with one very important point to clear up any misunderstandings right away: of course, it’s not your fault.

It’s not your fault that you feel afraid. It’s not your fault that you feel depressed, or that you’ve experienced something terrible or traumatic in the past. Absolutely not. Let’s be very clear about that.

If you could have consciously changed something about it right now, you would have done so long ago.

No one chooses to be in misery just for the fun of it. But there’s a huge difference between guilt and responsibility. And that difference starts with the language we use, because we’re collectively hypnotized by our own words.

Watch the video:

Hypnosis as a noun

Look, I have a pen in my hand right now. If you’re watching this on YouTube, you can see it. A pen is a thing. It’s a tangible object, a noun. If I want to get rid of this marker, it’s child’s play. What do I do? I open my hand, let go of it, and (whoosh) the marker falls to the ground. Marker gone. I have plenty of options for getting rid of a physical object. I can throw it away, give it away, or break it.

“Depression” is also a noun in our language. And that’s where it goes wrong. Because it’s a noun, we treat it as if it were a thing. Just like that pen. We say, “I have depression.” But if I then ask you, “Okay, so where is it? Let me see it. Put it here on the table,” there’s silence. Usually, people say, “Yeah, Edwin, it’s in my head.” Then I say, “Well, take it out, then.” But that’s not possible. Why not? Because it’s not a thing that exists as a thing.

This is how we hypnotize ourselves and each other. We turn a process into a thing. In linguistics, this is called nominalization[1]. And why is that so dangerous? Because it’s impossible to get rid of a thing that doesn’t even exist!

If you believe you have “depression” or an “anxiety disorder” as if it were a physical object that has taken possession of you, then you’re stuck.

After all, you can’t just pick it up and throw it away like that marker.

And here lies the masterful shift, the absolute golden opportunity: you don’t have it—you do it. You feel depressed. You feel anxious. You’re experiencing traumatic stress.

Some people might say , “Great, Edwin, just a semantic trick. What good does that do me? I still feel like crap.” But do you hear the difference? You can’t have something else if that thing doesn’t exist.

But you can feel differently. And to feel differently, you have to start doing something different. Getting rid of something that doesn’t exist is impossible. Starting to do something different, however, is definitely possible. Is it easy? No, absolutely not. It can be an incredible struggle. A grueling battle that sometimes lasts for years. Unfortunately, I know all about it.

The hierarchy of solutions: why the pill comes last

Look, if you’re in a deep, dark hole and you take a pill—and that pill saves your life, making you feel great again and helping you get through the day—that’s wonderful. Great. Then you’ve found something that works for you at that moment, and I’ll never judge you for it. I used to take pills myself. I know what they do to you; I know what they can do for you in the short term. But when it comes to the long term, I’m a lot less enthusiastic.

For me personally, medication is my very last resort. It’s an option, but only if nothing else really works. Why? Because a pill suppresses symptoms, but it doesn’t change the process—what you ’re actually doing. When we look at how we deal with feelings of depression or anxiety, we need to consider three fundamental levels before turning to medication.

First: the emotional and mental aspect. What’s still simmering in your subconscious that’s been there for years? Is there something from your childhood that’s causing you to feel so depressed right now, at this very moment, without even realizing it?

Maybe you were bullied in the past. Maybe you felt rejected by your parents and didn’t receive the love you so desperately craved.

Whatever the cause, that old pain can suddenly resurface in the present and trigger an avalanche of depressive feelings. You need to address that. Clear out that emotional baggage.

Also, take a critical look at your thoughts. What do you think about yourself all day long? What do you think about the world? Does that help you? If you believe the world is a terrible, dangerous, and hostile place, then you’re right. That’s how you’ll see it, and that’s how you’ll feel.

If you believe the world is a beautiful place full of opportunities, then you’re right. Your own brain will always agree with you. Is it easy to change that perspective when you’re in the middle of a mess? No. But you can train your brain to see things in a different light. That’s a mental muscle you have to build.

Second: what do you put in your mouth? I might be exaggerating a bit, but it’s the plain truth. If you spend the whole day lying on the couch in sweatpants, stuffing yourself with pink cookies, devouring bags of chips, and washing it all down with liters of cola, and then say to me, “Yeah, Edwin, I don’t get it—I’m so depressed…” Then I think, “Is it any wonder?!” You’re literally poisoning your body.

We now know from science that by far the most serotonin (the “happiness hormone”) is produced in your gut, not in your head! Your gut constantly sends signals to your brain about how you should feel[2].

If your gut flora is a chemical dump due to the junk you eat, alarm signals are sent to your brain.

So get off that couch. Go for a walk outside. Drink water instead of soda. Eat a salad. Get moving, work up a sweat. Just wait and see how quickly your body recovers[3]. You’ll sleep better, lose weight, and your gut will start sending signals of vitality back to your brain.

The Hard Numbers and the Reset

If you take these three steps—clearing out your old emotional baggage (for example, through hypnotherapy), training your mind to think constructively, and eating healthily while exercising intensively—what happens to most feelings of depression and anxiety? They’ll melt away like snow in the sun.

Of course, there’s a group of people for whom this isn’t enough. People with a strong genetic predisposition to depression, whose brain chemistry really needs a boost. For them, medication is available, and that’s great. So go ahead and use it.

But right now, about 1.2 million people in the Netherlands are taking antidepressants[4]. That’s bizarre.

I am 100 percent certain that at least 80% of those people would be much better off if they started doing things differently—if they used hypnotherapy to address the mental and emotional aspects of their lives, exercised more, slept better, and ate healthier.

This combination works a thousand times better in the long run, without the risk factors and side effects of a pill.

The fact that you ’re doing this means you can choose anew at any moment of the day, every second. Did it not work out this time? Are you lying on the couch again, moping over that pink cookie?

Okay, too bad. Don’t panic. Don’t judge yourself. Just make a new choice the next moment. Think again. Feel again. Do it again.

This is exactly what saved me years ago from a pitch-black period of severe depression and suicidal thoughts. It was an incredibly difficult struggle—a battle that lasted for years.

But I got through it by realizing that I’m the director of my own life. And because I know it’s possible, here I am now, speaking so passionately.

Yes, I can be incredibly blunt at times. I know I provoke people and that I dish out a virtual slap here and there. But I do it for a reason. I want to shake you out of the hypnosis of the victim role. I want to shake you up and shout, “Come on! Come on, you’re much stronger than you think!” I believe in you. I know you’re resilient; I know you’re self-reliant.

Sometimes in life, you only need one person who believes in you unconditionally. Well, here’s the thing: that’s me. Take action, take back control, and start doing.

Hypnosis in Action

And that’s exactly where hypnosis comes in. Hypnosis is the ultimate reset button for your subconscious mind. If you’re stuck in depression, your brain is actually trapped in a deep, automated survival mode. As a self-protective measure, your system has retreated into passive autopilot, causing you to keep going around in circles in the same difficult pattern.

With targeted hypnotherapy, we break through that stuck trance. We reprogram the software in your mind. Instead of unconsciously keeping your foot on the brake, hypnosis activates your inner engine. It puts you directly into “action mode.” You regain control, feel in charge, and, step by step, return to constructive action.

Research also shows that hypnosis can help with depression[5].

Learn Hypnosis

Do you want to help people change and get back on track? Knowledge of hypnotherapy is incredibly useful. Come to a free masterclass to get started.

Or check out our calendar for one of our events and training courses.

Schedule a one-on-one consultation here if you have any questions about our training program.

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