How to become confident: tips for more appearance at work

January 14, 2017

Chest out and chin up. That may be the image you have of people with confident looks. Some people always seem to know what to do and perfect its execution as well. Perhaps you feel as if everything you do is in shambles and that can be a blow to your self-assurance.

That's why in this blog I'll go into how to become more confident and what it actually is.

Difference between self-confidence and self-assurance

Confidence and self-confidence are often close to each other, but they are not exactly the same words with exactly the same meaning. Self-confidence often has a more negative ring to it, because people often want to do more about it.

Self-confidence has a more positive side, but people can also become too confident and things still don't turn out the way they want.

Thereby, self-confidence often has more to do with thoughts and emotions about yourself while self-assurance has more to do with what you do and how it goes. It is more about the external world and a part of you that is more visible to those around you.

Who hasn't had a classmate who went all red during a speaking engagement while another classmate remained a cool-headed frog. From the frog, you could probably remember the presentation while the blushing classmate actually remains forever the blushing classmate whose speech you don't remember.

So being confident also ensures that what you have to say will be heard and better remembered.

How do I appear confident?

Appearing confident is something we strive for especially in adolescence and adult life. It often comes in handy in different situations, such as presenting at school. Or while convincing your manager that a certain idea is really going to help the company move forward.

Or how about while going out? Who doesn't love a confident person who you can hit on or just go on the decorating trail?

Being confident at work

Stress at work is also detrimental to good self-confidence at work( 1).

Research shows that when you have fine colleagues and a good relationship with your boss this helps you to be more confident at work ( 2). Researchers indicate that this should be taken into account when organizations or companies want to improve themselves.

Also, your ideas about how secure your job is, and the work you do at work, can cause you to become more or less confident and self-assured. For example, if you have the idea that tasks are being taken over by other colleagues, that obviously doesn't really help ( 3).

If you are new to the field, you may just be the person with the least experience. Because everyone can build on his/her experiences, your ideas are not always covered as a result.

Still, you were hired for a reason. Therefore, stay focused on what you do and not on what other people around you do.

Tip 1: Identify what you are good at

For example, keep a journal after work in which you note what went well that day.

Perhaps you helped the intern well. Maybe you convinced a client completely with your ideas for him/her.

Identifying your strengths can help you radiate more self-confidence in the future, probably even automatically if you take a moment to pay attention to what you're all good at.

Tip 2: Keep a to-do list

Keeping a to-do list and checking it off will also make you more aware of things you have already succeeded at.

I myself get very happy every time I get to check off a checkmark on my to-do list.

Also, don't make your goals too big and make sure you can check something off your to-do list every day to keep it fun.

Tip 3: Also identify what you are less good at

This could involve, for example, letting go of an unpleasant conversation, or continuing to dwell on a problem and trying to work through it. This step, by the way, is less important than the previous one, in which you identify exactly what you’re good at.

If you find that this step is sending you into a negative thought spiral, it is better to get on the positive spiral by identifying precisely all the good that you are doing.

Tip 4: Also create a folder of compliments

Your coworkers or clients may occasionally give you a compliment —sometimes digitally and sometimes in person. Save these compliments in a folder and look at them when you’re feeling down about your abilities.

Just imagine how thick that binder will get if you keep those compliments. Then a year from now you'll have super many compliments.

Competence and self-assurance

As you can see, self-confidence at work is related to your competencies at work. Fortunately, there are multiple ways to work on your competencies and self-confidence without feeling like more work than the work you were already doing.

Therefore, I offer a few tips to strengthen your competencies at work to become more confident.

Tip 5: Perform tasks with mindfulness

By practicing mindfulness while performing tasks at work, you can increase your focus on the task at hand. Mindfulness helps you live in the here and now. Instead of worrying about what your boss or coworkers think of the final product, you focus your thoughts on the process of creating it.

This reduces the chance of making mistakes and grows your competence at work.

Tip #6: Be mindful in conversations with colleagues and your boss

By practicing mindfulness during conversations at work, you can create more distance from the emotions you’re experiencing in the moment. This allows you to respond more rationally to questions or comments from the people you’re talking to.

This can also serve you well in conversations with clients allowing you to help them even better than you already do.

Tip 7: Realize that your colleagues are only human too

Look at your colleagues' behavior from a different angle. Are they emotional because they really just want recognition? When a stressful situation arises at work for everyone, for example, because an important client is leaving, everyone suddenly starts acting stressed. Try to see through that to see what they are really asking for.

Tips for becoming more confident

In addition to tips at work and to increase your competencies to become more confident, there are also things you can do precisely in your free time for more certainty in what you can do. These tips will also help you become more confident in your private life.

Tip 8: Try something new every day

By something new, I mean that every day you will do something you haven't done before. Perhaps at first it's just baking a cake, but after a while you'll be at the bonbon workshop. And another few years later you're flying yourself in a glider.

By trying new things, you’ll learn that you’re capable of more than you initially think. This sometimes also means overcoming fears. By becoming more familiar with the feeling of fear and learning to move past it, you’ll be better able to handle it at work as well.

If you can't manage to try something new every day you can at least do it every weekend.

Tip 9: Use self-hypnosis

Hypnosis is a great way to boost your self-confidence and can also help boost your self-esteem.

With self-hypnosis, you first relax and focus on your breathing. Then you repeat hypnotic suggestions that boost your self-confidence, such as:

My boss believes in me because I have this job.

I'm good at.... (Something from your journal that went well).

What I can't do I can learn.

I'm smart.

I'm social.

When you see a hypnotherapist, he or she can give you personalized suggestions that apply to your situation. Then self-hypnosis works even better than with these examples.

Tip 10: Identify your beliefs that create insecurity

Beliefs are very important to your view of the world and how you see yourself in it. Perhaps you have beliefs that you just can't do certain things very well. Why would you think that? If you have done something wrong in the past, that is not a reason to throw in the towel. On the contrary, it is a learning opportunity that you can take to the next time and, as a result, things will improve.

By identifying your beliefs and their causes, you can also determine whether your belief makes sense and what you can do about it.

If you find this difficult, a hypnotherapist can help you determine beliefs. This can be done, for example, with cognitive behavioral therapy or through regression therapy. With this therapy you can find out why you think the way you do and whether a certain impressive event influenced this.

Would you like to learn more about mental techniques that can help you improve your life? Then join the free online masterclass on hypnosis and check out the courses offered by the Hypnosis Institute of the Netherlands.

Also pin this handy infographic:

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