Some people mature faster than others, but what exactly is maturing? For example, some people say that becoming an adult is a kind of trap because it makes your life boring. But is that really the case? In this blog, I take a closer look at growing up
What is being an adult?
What being an adult means, people don't all agree. Research does show that there are a number of factors that make people feel mature, namely:
Taking responsibility for one's own behavior.
Taking on the role of keeping things safe (such as watching over children and adolescents)[1].
Whether or not you feel mature is also very much related to the identity you give yourself. Do you still feel like a child or do you feel like an adult? Do you act mature and actually "fake" it or does it actually feel that way to you?
Researchers have also looked at what children find characteristics of adult behavior, and these are also kind of interesting, because many beliefs about how the world works are actually formed in childhood. From this research came the following results:
- You are able to create a balance of work and play.
- You are allowed to do more (like being bold) without unpleasant consequences.
- You are more bossy and in control of other people.
- You are physically more mature (men have beard growth, for example)[2].
These are very interesting observations from children, but they don't quite add up yet. However, it is good to see that children find that adults actually have more control over when they want to play or work, and that adults can control this better than they can (because they just want to play).
The second point in particular shows that as you get older, other people don't judge you as much, and this, of course, also has to do with self-responsibility.
Maturity can also confer a form of status that makes people follow you. Of course, whether you are bossy depends more on you.
The physical maturity, yes we can say a lot about that, but that says nothing. This is something you only discover later in life.
Still, what remains paramount in adulthood is that you are responsible for what you do in your life and you may even take on some responsibility, helping people, for example. Or as kids see it: allowing you to be the boss.
Own company
One of the best things you can do to mature is to start your own business. This is because you will be entirely responsible for the success of your business. You can no longer blame your boss for things that are not going well in your life, because you are the boss yourself.
But there is a lot involved in having a business, such as your administration, building your website, creating your product or service and then marketing it.
Soon you may then realize that you can't do everything on your own, and the great thing is, you don't have to.
Realizing that it is okay to ask for help to achieve things is also something that is very mature.
In school, the feeling may have crept in that you have to do everything yourself. You have to learn for a test by yourself, you have to pass an exam by yourself. This all happens at the beginning of your life and, as a result, you may think that you have to do everything in your life by yourself.
Unlearning this "doing it all yourself" is a clear sign of maturity.
Collaborate with other people
Working with other people to achieve your own goals is incredibly mature, and this can come across as if you are "in charge" (you may start to feel that way, too).
In school, you sometimes had those group assignments where you could gather people around you who you could say, "You're good at this, so you can do that task well." But often you found that you were either the only one working in the group or that working together just didn't work out.
But then again, you are working with immature people.
Believe me, things really do get very different when people have to start working together to put bread on the table.
Vision of where you want to go
Another thing that is very mature, and that you face when you have a business, is that you have to have a picture of where you want to go. For example, you want to grow your business. You want to offer certain services or products. You want to expand to countries other than the Netherlands.
It can be anything.
It's the same way in your own life. You may want to take a trip around the world, or you may just want to go home and have a good time. You want a partner or two, you can make it as crazy as you want.
When you are small, where you want to go or are going is all clear. You go to school, then high school, then college, then work. You do everything "just as it should be."
Then, when you work like any adult - and feel very mature, because you do everything the way it's supposed to be done - it can suddenly get a little itchy.
Is this even fun? Is this really what you want? Is this really what makes you happy?
Then you might even have a bit of a short-term view.
You can also start thinking about how you want to age. Do you want to be a fit grandfather later? What do you want people to say about you at your funeral. This can feel very intense, but if you know what you want then, you also know what to do now.
A fit senior citizen is someone who does exercise throughout their life.
A cheerful senior citizen is not someone who got stuck in a job that made him sour.
So this may mean that you need to somehow start a meaningful project alongside your work so that you don't become soured. For example, you could make fun things and sell them through Etsy or start tutoring adolescents if that's something you do enjoy.
This may also mean that you need to pay attention to your diet and exercise after all .
You then begin your vision now where you want to end up. You can take where you want to be as a benchmark and then calculate back to what you need to do. This makes it easier to see what is relevant and irrelevant.
Also listen to this webinar:
Hypnosis to be mature
So when you have the point where you want to be in your mind, you can take a step back from that point every time to how you got there. This is something hypnosis can help you with. Instead of looking, as in regression, at how a particular event affected your life, you start looking at how a particular vision can affect your life.
This also works very well to have a clear plan to achieve this goal and then actually achieve it. A hypnotherapist can help you do this while in hypnosis.
If you are very good at hypnosis, you can even do it yourself, but you must have studied hypnosis.
Another thing hypnosis can help you with maturing is to remove the fear of responsibility. For example, you may think you are not smart or good enough to do certain things, but those are just beliefs.
After all, you have everything within you to achieve the goals you dream up, otherwise you wouldn't even think of them.
Hypnosis can then, for example, help you improve your self-confidence and increase your self-esteem, so that you do dare to make your own choices and dare to do what it takes to achieve your goals.
This is done, for example, with hypnotic suggestions such as:
"I am strong."
"If I can think it, I can do it."
"I am worth a lot."
"I can do anything I want."
These are just examples. Depending on your goals and beliefs about yourself, a hypnotherapist may give you other suggestions. These suggestions are then often given to you as homework as well, so you can continue to reinforce their effects at home with self-hypnosis.
Want to know if you can get into hypnosis and hypnotize people? Then come to a Hypnosis playshop. These are given in Wormerveer and Zwolle.
Want to see hypnosis at work properly and learn and experience how hypnosis helps solve personal problems? Then come to a seminar.
Just want to help people achieve their goals and use hypnosis as enrichment? Then sign up for one of our trainings. The trainings are held in Zwolle, Wormerveer and online.
[1] https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/abs/10.1111/jonm.12030
[2] https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0140197100903816
