Aging: The decline or advance with wisdom?
During my birthday, I was thinking about aging. Because there are all kinds of beliefs linked to getting older, such as that old age comes with defects and that as you get older, everything becomes less. I would rather not believe these things.
Or, "As you get older, it all diminishes."
At my age - maybe when you listen to this you'll think, 'Your age? You're a pantser.' Or you think, 'Jesus what an old fart this is.' It just depends on which perspective you look at it from.
At my age—I’m 44—many people develop chronic illnesses. So they have to take medication, or they have thyroid problems or high cholesterol. And most people think that’s normal.
11 million Dutch people take medication. This is shockingly high. You might wonder if this is really necessary. What if you had a different lifestyle? I think that most medications would simply not be needed then.
Looking at myself, I was in worse shape when I turned 42 than I am now. Last year things got a little better and now I am stronger and fitter than I have ever been. I have never looked or felt so good.
Now, 44 isn’t exactly old—I’m not 84. It’s interesting to note, though, that you could also say, “The older you get, the healthier you become.” The more you begin to realize that some choices aren’t wise to make. You could say that getting older also means becoming wiser, which leads you to make smarter or better choices.
That’s true in my case, but I know it’s not the case for many people. They conform to the idea that aging comes with ailments and that as you get older, you need aids to live, such as medication for your blood pressure.
Where does the decline begin?
When I was 20, I made some really bad choices, but that was because I felt like I didn’t want to live. So what did it matter? Looking back, I made choices that weren’t wise—or were even really bad. I knew that at the time, but I didn’t care.
Now you might say it was just naive youthfulness, but it wasn’t. I just didn’t feel like living, and when that happens, it doesn’t matter what you do. You just end up drinking and using drugs. If you don’t care about anything, what or who would you be doing it for?
It also had its benefits, because when I drank, I didn’t feel the pain of depression or anxiety. It was all misery, and sometimes that brought us closer together, because I had several drinking buddies and we’d go to parties together. So I did have a kind of brotherhood and a social connection. If you didn’t do this, you didn’t have that social connection, and then you’d feel the pain again. So then you end up drinking again.
There was no other plan behind it. If you're going to analyze it properly, it just wasn't smart. Stupid is something else. Then you didn't think it through.
Not smart is different from stupid.
Indeed, while it was the perfect strategy to feel nothing and belong, it was also a destructive strategy. Which does cause you to feel pain at some point.
I used to think it was a special time to have a drink, but now I don’t feel like it at all, because I now find fulfillment in my social life, my work, and my sports. So I get a lot of fulfillment from those three areas, and that’s where I belong, so to speak. And since there’s no more pain to numb, you automatically stop doing it.
I'm not saying a drink isn't good, but I prefer to stay clear now. That's a big difference. I also no longer feel like spending a day or two recovering from a King's Day or so. I have better things to do.
Making Wiser Choices
So you’re going to make different choices, but that’s because you’ve actually organized the same things differently. Of course, you still want to belong, but it’s different now. In sports, I belong; in my family, I belong; and at my job, I’ve created something that makes me feel like I matter and belong.
In addition, I have resolved old pain, so I no longer need to numb that.
Then you’ll automatically stop doing those kinds of things, which yields significant benefits in terms of health, fitness, strength, clarity, and greater focus.
Then once you get your blood tested, it's all much better. High blood pressure and cholesterol and things like that are better, but it starts with why you do the things you do.
Why do you like to attend parties?
From what motivation do you do it? Do you do something to numb, avoid or for pleasure. I used to say of course I was doing it for pleasure, but if I were honest I could say it was for sedation. So when you ask yourself that question you have to be honest too.
Why take that one beer or wine a day? For what?
Yes, you might say you should enjoy life, and that’s true. But when it comes at a cost—such as that one glass of wine leading to high blood pressure or a pill for cholesterol—is it really worth it?
Can't you just enjoy it with a glass of water or something?
Getting venom out of your life
Alcohol and sugar, for example, are simply poison. If you can eliminate them from your life, that’s a good thing. Do you enjoy life by consuming poison? Then you might as well take ecstasy, coke, speed, and heroin with your spaghetti. Isn’t that what enjoying life is all about?
On the opium list, alcohol is tied with heroin at No. 1 and XTC at No. 17 I believe. And you can enjoy both, just one a little longer (the XTC pill) than the other.
Anyway, the question is always: Why do it? Has it become a habit that no longer pays off? Often it does. The moment you then stop doing it and you still do it very occasionally. Then it gives much more pleasure than if you drink every day.
Alcohol is a disease maker so why do it? It's not that I'm 1 some evangelist. If you snort 5 grams a day, I don't care.
Has it become a habit that no longer brings you any joy, or do you do it to truly enjoy yourself? Then just take a break from it for a while, and occasionally have a glass of wine with a really delicious meal—that’s when it becomes a pleasure.
If you do it daily, it's more of a habit.
So as you get older, you become wiser and can reflect on why you do what you do. Often it's a habit or an anesthetic and only very occasionally is it really something you enjoy.
When you say you enjoy every day, is that really true? If you later become demented because of that wine, is it worth it?
We can’t fully foresee the long term, but if you’re 40 or older, you can start thinking about whether you’ll be financially free by the time you’re 65 and whether you’ll still be healthy with this lifestyle so you can play with your grandchildren. How are your relationships, and will things go well for the rest of your life?
You are in control of things
Of course, life also happens to you and anything can happen, but you have quite a bit in your own control. For example, if you have an accident, you will recover faster if you are fit than if you are a couch potato.
When you're 20 you may not have that realization... Some young people do! But some my age still don't have it either. And then it starts to become crucial that you start getting a little wiser in different areas like financial and health and things like that. And there's all kinds of stuff out there about that. I'm not an expert in terms of healthy lifestyle or anything like that. I know pretty much what's good for me and I'm learning about that every day.
It's good to educate yourself about what is possible. For example, I looked at how to fulfill my needs in a different way instead of numbing. I wanted to belong to something and then I looked at how I could belong to something instead of belonging to people who numb themselves.
It is wise to resolve old pain, as it can still be a reason to snort, gamble, eat or Netflix.
So if you are doing certain things, take a look at this. This can be painful at times, but it can be more painful to go through life as a wreck at some point.
Also listen to this podcast:
https://www.buzzsprout.com/195236/1063706-verjaardagswijsheid
Examining old hurts and habits
There are several ways to examine old pain and habits. For me, hypnosis is the fastest way to figure out why you do what you do and then to change it.
One important technique for this is regression. With regression, you go back to the very first moment when a particular pain arose. You then change that moment in your mind to eliminate the pain. A hypnotherapist helps you with this process.
What you can also do is determine precisely where you want to be in the future. Say you are 40 now and you want to change your life. For example, what do you want it to look like in 1 or 2 years? A hypnotherapist can help you make a plan to change your habits so that you actually achieve this ideal image.
Want to learn more about how hypnosis works? Then come to a hypnosis playshop. These are held in Wormerveer and Zwolle.
You can also come to a seminar where you can see more about what is possible with hypnosis. Check the calendar to see when and where these are given.
Would you like to help people take a closer look at their habits? Then you can also sign up for the courses offered by the Hypnosis Institute of the Netherlands. These are taught online and in Zwolle or Wormerveer.