During my birthday, I was thinking about aging. Because there are all kinds of beliefs linked to getting older, such as that old age comes with defects and that as you get older, everything becomes less. I would rather not believe these things.
Or, "As you get older, it all diminishes."
At my age - maybe when you listen to this you'll think, 'Your age? You're a pantser.' Or you think, 'Jesus what an old fart this is.' It just depends on which perspective you look at it from.
At my age, I'm 44, a lot of people get chronically ill. So that they have to take medication, that there are thyroid problems or cholesterol problems. And most people think that's normal.
11 million Dutch people take medication. This is shockingly high. You might wonder if this is really necessary. What if you had a different lifestyle? I think that most medications would simply not be needed then.
Looking at myself, I was in worse shape when I turned 42 than I am now. Last year things got a little better and now I am stronger and fitter than I have ever been. I have never looked or felt so good.
Now 44 is not very old, I'm not 84. It's interesting to note, though, that you can also say, "The older you get, the healthier you get." The better you begin to realize that some choices are not helpful to make. You could say that getting older is also getting wiser, so you start making smarter or better choices.
In my case, this is true, but I know it is not true for many people. Those conform to the idea that aging comes with defects and that when you get old you need tools to live, such as with medication for your blood pressure.
Where does the decline begin?
When I was 20, I made really bad choices, but that was because of the idea that I didn't want to live. So what did it matter? So in retrospect, I made choices that were not helpful or even really bad. I knew that at the time, but I didn't care.
Now you might say it was naive youthfulness, but it wasn't. I just didn't feel like living and then it doesn't matter what you do. Then you just go drink and use. If you don't care, what or who would you do it for?
It also paid off, because when I drank I didn't feel the pain of being depressed or scared. It was all misery and that also fraternized sometimes, because I had several drinking buddies and we went to parties together. So I had a kind of brotherhood and a social connection anyway. If you didn't do this, you didn't have that social connection and then you felt the pain again. So then you start drinking again anyway.
There was no other plan behind it. If you're going to analyze it properly, it just wasn't smart. Stupid is something else. Then you didn't think it through.
Not smart is different from stupid.
Indeed, while it was the perfect strategy to feel nothing and belong, it was also a destructive strategy. Which does cause you to feel pain at some point.
I thought it was a special time to drink, but now I don't feel like it at all, because now I get satisfaction from my social life, my work and my sports. So from those three contexts I get a lot of satisfaction and that's where I belong, so to speak. And pain to numb is no longer there, then you automatically stop doing that.
I'm not saying a drink isn't good, but I prefer to stay clear now. That's a big difference. I also no longer feel like spending a day or two recovering from a King's Day or so. I have better things to do.
Making Wiser Choices
So you're going to make different choices, but that's because you've actually organized the same things differently. Of course you still want to belong, but it's different now. In sports I belong, in my family I belong, and at work I have created something that makes me feel like I mean something and belong.
In addition, I have resolved old pain, so I no longer need to numb that.
Then you automatically stop doing things like that, and it pays off quite a bit in health, fitness, strength, clarity and increased focus.
Then once you get your blood tested, it's all much better. High blood pressure and cholesterol and things like that are better, but it starts with why you do the things you do.
Why do you like to attend parties?
From what motivation do you do it? Do you do something to numb, avoid or for pleasure. I used to say of course I was doing it for pleasure, but if I were honest I could say it was for sedation. So when you ask yourself that question you have to be honest too.
Why take that one beer or wine a day? For what?
Yes, then you say you should enjoy life, and you do. But when it comes at a cost to you - like the one wine for high blood pressure or a pill for cholesterol - is it worth it?
Can't you just enjoy it with a glass of water or something?
Getting venom out of your life
Alcohol and sugar, for example, are just poison. If you can remove that from your life, that's good. Are you enjoying life by taking poison? Then you might as well take XTC, coke, speed and heroin with your spaghetti. That's enjoyment, right?
On the opium list, alcohol is tied with heroin at No. 1 and XTC at No. 17 I believe. And you can enjoy both, just one a little longer (the XTC pill) than the other.
Anyway, the question is always: Why do it? Has it become a habit that no longer pays off? Often it does. The moment you then stop doing it and you still do it very occasionally. Then it gives much more pleasure than if you drink every day.
Alcohol is a disease maker so why do it? It's not that I'm 1 some evangelist. If you snort 5 grams a day, I don't care.
Has it become a habit that no longer serves you or do you do it to really enjoy yourself? Then just stop doing it for a while and then have the occasional wine with really good food, then it becomes enjoyment.
If you do it daily, it's more of a habit.
So as you get older, you become wiser and can reflect on why you do what you do. Often it's a habit or an anesthetic and only very occasionally is it really something you enjoy.
When you say you enjoy every day, is that really true? If you later become demented because of that wine, is it worth it?
In the long run we can't oversee things completely, but when you're 40+ you can start thinking about whether you'll be financially free at age 65 and whether with this lifestyle you'll still be healthy by then, so that with your grandchildren you can play. How are your relationships and will that last the rest of your life?
You are in control of things
Of course, life also happens to you and anything can happen, but you have quite a bit in your own control. For example, if you have an accident, you will recover faster if you are fit than if you are a couch potato.
When you're 20 you may not have that realization... Some young people do! But some my age still don't have it either. And then it starts to become crucial that you start getting a little wiser in different areas like financial and health and things like that. And there's all kinds of stuff out there about that. I'm not an expert in terms of healthy lifestyle or anything like that. I know pretty much what's good for me and I'm learning about that every day.
It's good to educate yourself about what is possible. For example, I looked at how to fulfill my needs in a different way instead of numbing. I wanted to belong to something and then I looked at how I could belong to something instead of belonging to people who numb themselves.
It is wise to resolve old pain, as it can still be a reason to snort, gamble, eat or Netflix.
So if you are doing certain things, take a look at this. This can be painful at times, but it can be more painful to go through life as a wreck at some point.
Also listen to this podcast:
https://www.buzzsprout.com/195236/1063706-verjaardagswijsheid
Examining old hurts and habits
There are multiple ways to scrutinize old hurts and habits. For me, hypnosis is the fastest way to figure out why you do what you do and then change it.
One technique relevant to this is regression. With regression, you go back to the first moment when a particular pain occurred. Then you start changing that moment in your mind to remove the pain. This is where a hypnotist helps you.
What you can also do is determine precisely where you want to be in the future. Say you are 40 now and you want to change your life. For example, what do you want it to look like in 1 or 2 years? A hypnotherapist can help you make a plan to change your habits so that you actually achieve this ideal image.
Want to learn more about how hypnosis works? Then come to a hypnosis playshop. These are held in Wormerveer and Zwolle.
You can also come to a seminar where you can see more about what is possible with hypnosis. Check the calendar to see when and where these are given.
Just want to help people put their habits under the microscope? Then you can also enroll in the training courses of the Hypnosis Institute Netherlands. These are given online and in Zwolle or Wormerveer.
