Forgetful: What to do?

When you forget everything, whole conversations, putting the pillowcase around the pillows while changing the bed, what else are you doing somewhere? That forgetfulness that was a problem someone sent me. That person had been suffering from it for two years and thought it might be related to the death of her brother two years ago.

Notice!Do you suffer from forgetfulness? Always see a doctor to make sure it's not something medical.

So this person thought it was not something medical, but had to do with not saying goodbye to his brother.

That didn't come from that person, and they've since forgotten all about it. To me, that made perfect sense. I then immediately think 1 and 1 is 2.

Research also shows that people who have experienced a traumatic event that caused acute stress are more likely to suffer from forgetfulness afterward[1]. On top of that, it was during the COVID-19 pandemic, so there would have been more stress than usual.

You then apparently want to forget about that whole situation.

Fortunately, hypnosis helps process trauma and cope with stress.

Non-medical causes of forgetfulness

When you look at these things that are connected. Then you find out that some events can have physical effects.

That person also thought it might be a strategy.

This is not a sure thing, of course, but if you look at a strategy, it's quite possible. After all, we do things because we think they are important. Very often we do this unconsciously.

Much of what you do is driven by pleasure and pain. We have skills and strategies for dealing with that.

When we have no way to avoid something or achieve something, no strategy, we invent something. We do this not necessarily consciously, but unconsciously.

So imagine you’re in a lot of pain because of a lack of attention in your family life; then you’ll do something to get attention and enjoyment. If I have one way to do that—like flattering or sucking up—then I’ll do it. If it works, I’m not going to come up with something else.

After all, it already takes effort to think of 1 thing.

However, in other areas, that one thing can cause problems.

If a child, aged four or five, doesn’t receive attention or love, they might come up with a way to get it. For example, by trying to please others—if that works, the person will keep doing it. Or you might start screaming loudly; if that works, you’ll keep screaming. Or you might hit your little brother, and if it works, you’ll keep doing it.

But this comes from a pain and the solution. You can find some of that.

For example, there is a story of a hitman who had so much anger in him that he took it out on animals when he was young. He then killed them and that calmed him down.

This is a very extreme example. He was in a lot of pain and this was the solution that works for him. He kept doing this and has killed 250 people. His wife didn't even know this and neither did his children.

A very unusual example, but no one had taught him how to deal with his anger.

He could have done things differently. If he had realized that anger can also be alleviated through sports or by pleasing others, he might have become a very famous athlete.

It's a separate path, but if it works then it works. The brain doesn't necessarily have a judgment of good or bad, either. And when something is bad, you often start to justify it to yourself.

So it can be very extreme, but closer to home, you're also inventing something to go from pain away to pleasure. You've learned something that works.

In this person’s case, they wanted to say goodbye to their brother. The remark that it’s not coming from him is a hint that something is going on— an argument… that sort of thing.

It's good to explore that then. I assumed there was an argument.

It was also corona time two years ago, which may also have something to do with it. That person was simply not allowed to be with the dying person, with all the strict rules they had back then.

Forgetfulness not to remember pain

The strategy, though, is that it's painful and that it didn't come from that person's side. So what was the relationship with your brother? Good, parents? Not good.

In any case, it was painful and so painful that you forget everything. You don't want to think about it at all.

The subconscious mind has found a way to turn off all pain. Just don't think about it anymore.

I didn't ask any clarification questions either, because very likely it's in that corner.

The solution then is not in "why haven't I been able to say goodbye?"

But what's the reason it couldn't be done in the first place.

If this had to do with government policy, even then you could have said goodbye through Zoom. Entire funerals could be followed via video link.

So we can tick that one off.

But then it will have been from the brother. Who just didn't want to say goodbye. That's painful.

And then you don't want to think about that and so you just forget about it. You stop thinking about it. You just don't get to it then, because it's too painful.

I estimate that it has to do with other people preventing it. This could be the brother, or other family members.

Acceptance as the beginning of the solution

It doesn’t matter what the solution is—the solution is acceptance.

You go back in your mind to the moment, two years ago. There the problem of forgetting was activated, but there were problems before that.

Because if you can't say goodbye, there have been previous problems.

What are those problems earlier on your timeline?

And you really need to resolve those past issues. You can do this using the regression technique.

Then you come to a situation where maybe you got into an argument with sister A and it causes you to not be allowed in or whatever. It could also be the brother or whatever else, this is just an example.

So, you’re having a fight with your sister A. Go back in your mind to the very first time the problem arose. Maybe you were only five or six years old. You might not consciously remember that anymore, but under hypnosis, we can retrieve that memory.

The question is always, what would you have wanted to do?

Regression to change your memory

Or what do you want to do now? As a hypnotherapist, it’s important to realize that when someone is “in” that memory, you should speak as if it’s happening right now.

"What do you want to do? What do you want to say?" you can then ask, and if you have the problem you can ask this of yourself when you are in that memory.

Then you want to say or do something and you do it in your mind, in that memory.

So anything you had wanted to do or had wanted to say, you then say during that regression. You actually change the memory with this. In fact, to your brain, it doesn't matter if it's reality or fantasy.

This can make you feel like you stood up for yourself well at the time, when that is not the truth. It then feels that way to your subconscious.

The hate and anger then comes from your heart.

As a result, the pain is gone.

The next stage is understanding. Understanding toward the other person, like the sister. This is a tricky stage, but it can only happen when the pain is gone. Therefore, first the pain or hatred must be removed from the heart.

Then the heart is open again and there can be understanding.

In hypnosis, you can then step into the other person. Then you suddenly understand. You empathize, as it were, with the other person. Understand what they feel and think and then you understand.

This doesn't mean it's good. It just means you understand it.

I understand that hitman too, but that doesn't mean I approve. I still disapprove of the behavior.

In the example of the sister being argued with, you can also understand this but not like it.

Understanding and forgiveness

If you understand it, then you can also forgive it. Because you understand that the other person can’t help being the way they are, you can forgive them. It’s often harder to do that on your own.

After all, when you "are" that other person you automatically have an understanding of their actions, thoughts and feelings.

That other person avoids pain just as much and wants pleasure just as much and has come up with something for that as well.

Taking in this understanding makes it easier to forgive the person (still doesn't mean you approve).

That forgiveness frees you. You then find that a burden falls off you.

In a regression, you then "grow up" from that point, from when you were little, with this new feeling. You do all this in your mind while in hypnosis.

A hypnotherapist will help you get this right.

Next, you get to the point where forgetfulness, the problem, has been activated. In this person's case, the inability to say goodbye to the brother.

Changing the moment the problem began

With those new feelings, it's okay. It's annoying, but you get it. Even in that moment, you can say goodbye to your brother in your mind. So in thought you change your memory again.

You then basically repeat the steps in which you do what you had wanted to do and say what you had wanted to say.

And then the emotion can get out about this moment. You then have an emotional and mental release.

You are then past the denial stage in the stage of grief. You pass grief and anger because you discharge all at once. Acceptance arises. Then you can understand and forgive again.

There is then a good chance that forgetfulness will stop.

So does forgetfulness come from a particular moment, and not from something medical such as dementia or Alzheimer's? Then performing a regression may be the solution.

Also watch this video:

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