Emotion words: Use them to solve a problem
A good conversation in which everything dissolves. Is that possible? I mainly study how to help people change something quickly. Or even in yourself.
This has always super fascinated me. For example, I've come to understand that it helps if I study myself in a pre-conversation, then ask myself, "How do I do it now? How come I'm successful (when I am), because I'm not always. "
I also used to often ask, "Why doesn't it work?" But that's really not a helpful question to ask at all. I used to ask clients the same question, but it's not very helpful. Then you sometimes get very unpleasant answers from yourself, like that you're just bad or something.
It triggered in me that I started paying attention to what didn't go well and what did go well that I didn't study, so I didn't learn from it.
But now I actually do study sessions that go very well. Then I see back what I improved on the sessions that didn't go well before.
This was often due to my rapport with people, or simply that I wasn’t listening to them properly. I actually wanted to apply the technique I had in mind right away. Not very helpful at all.
I have improved all of that, so now I sit differently when I do a session. As a result, I now almost always get results from people in 1 or 2 sessions.
Are those people completely free of their problem? Not always—it depends on the person. If the person has a very stable environment, then I do believe that you can resolve certain problems with just one session. This problem is also fairly easy to solve, because there is clearly a specific event that caused it.
But if you’ve been through a long, difficult journey—for example, if you had a very troubled childhood from age5 to20 —you can change that, and you might even see results in just one session. But then what? Because you’ll become a different person.
If you have a stable environment, this will go over well.
But imagine that you’ve built your social circle around that very problem. That you were bullied in the past and, as a result, have unconsciously chosen all your relationships based on that experience. You’re looking for someone who isn’t a bully. If this no longer interests you, you might not have chosen that person as a partner or friend, and that, in turn, could become a problem.
Then you need multiple sessions to guide someone in this to get all that right.
But with this looking at what I do well, I gained an insight I'd like to share with you.
Your emotion words are unique
If you look at your own life, there are things you find really cool. You use certain words for that, such as intense, awesome, super, fantastic and, for example, so beautiful. These are all words that are also loaded with a certain tone. You almost feel it when you hear it.
These are also trigger words. Those words with that statement trigger a feeling, a chain reaction.
Then you also have the other side things that aren't fun. You also have certain words for that that you say in a certain tone.
Dogs, people, stage, elevator, a small space, it can be anything and that is personal to everyone.
These start another chain reaction.
In the brain, your left brain determines what the word means, then your right brain links an emotion to it[1].
What is interesting, however, is that, in general, abstract words are more emotionally charged than concrete words[2]. So an abstract word, such as “motivation” or “fear,” is more emotionally charged than a concrete noun, though this can vary from person to person.
These are your client's words and you hear what they are when he utters them, some times they are top notch and other times they are not.
Emotion words used interchangeably
You can mix up those words sometime and it produces very interesting effects. In NLP we have a technique called "the collapsing anchor." You anchor a feeling, for example through a touch. Your client has to smile and then you press on the shoulder.
Then you can check if that smile reappears when you tap your client on the shoulder. You can also anchor the feelings of anxiety—for example, on the other shoulder.
So what happens when you press them both?
This is, of course, very confusing. The idea then is that the good feeling is so strong that it displaces the other feeling. That the other feeling collapses or collapses.
This technique is super effective, but it is also link, because if the fear is stronger then it actually displaces the good feelings and your client is only more scared.
Essentially, this is something you try with any technique, but in different ways. You want positive feelings to prevail. Fortunately, your brain often responds more strongly to positive words about yourself than negative words[3].
This can also be done in a conversation. If something is intensely beautiful and good and an elevator is scary, you can make of that: That some elevators are quite beautiful. Then suddenly something beautiful will be linked to an elevator.
That won't get rid of that fear of elevators right away, but a new connection has already been made, and you keep making those connections.
You feedback a loaded word from the client and you mix it up. Then super interesting things happen. Then after 20 minutes someone can suddenly say, "Hey it's gone, how can that be?"
That's then because as a therapist, you keep mixing up the words until it feels right.
I found that I do this automatically when a session goes well.
So that's what I wanted to share, so it can go well with you too.
Also listen to this podcast:
https://www.buzzsprout.com/195236/2532454-hoe-je-jouw-woorden-effectiever-kan-gebruiken?play=true
Linking verbs to nouns
A grammatical particle that links verbs to nouns says something about people's inner world, according to researchers. It says something about how they view certain things in life[4].
So the way people associate a verb with an object, or an abstract object, can give you insight into how your client feels about something.
This can be useful to tap into during a pre-session or during the session itself.
Hypnosis and the use of words
So you can use your client’s own words, along with a variety of techniques, to help them overcome fears and other problems. Words and gestures play an important role in hypnotherapy[5]. The words you use influence how well the suggestion you give is received by your client and utilized in the subconscious.
It's also important to know your client's emotion words, so you don't accidentally give a suggestion that is negative for them, when you mean it positively.
For example, a visualization of a quiet place in a forest is not at all soothing to someone who has ever experienced something nasty in a forest. This is why it can sometimes be helpful to remain a little vague in visualizations, so that your client can create a pleasant environment in his own mind to relax completely for a while.
If you already know through pre-conversation or other techniques during the session what is perceived positively by your client, you can use that in your visualization. If your client finds something "awesome," you can use that term to reinforce that positive emotion in a visualization, for example.
Want to know exactly how hypnosis and hypnotherapy works? Then come to a free online master class on hypnosis.
Or sign up directly for one of the Hypnosis Institute Netherlands' training courses, where you'll immediately begin using techniques to help yourself (or just other people). Ideal if you are a coach, therapist or someone who just wants to help people further.
Trainings are conducted online from a professional studio with enough assistance for one-on-one attention to teach you all the ins and outs of hypnotherapy.
Pin this handy infographic as a reminder:
Sources:
[1] https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/21533883/
[2] https://psycnet.apa.org/record/2010-26153-001
[3] https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/14594739/
[4] https://psycnet.apa.org/record/2002-08634-021
[5] https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1177/0310057X0403200513