Rejection is something you are going to have to deal with in life. For some people, dealing with rejection is very difficult. Rejection can make you feel insecure and even depressed. Rejection can force yourself to reflect on yourself and usually this is a time when your self-image can change. Especially if you are looking for a job, you can get rejected a lot and that is super annoying.
That's why in this blog I discuss how to deal with job application rejection
Mental consequences of rejection
Have you experienced that with gym? That you had to make two teams and 1 classmate got to pick people from the team. There is always someone who gets picked last. Fortunately, this generally does not say much about how nice you are, but about your performance at gym and whether you can help your team to a victory.
Still, it feels very annoying to be chosen only last. "Am I really that bad at soccer then?" or just "Do they think I'm stupid?"
In the process, this can also change your view of the person choosing the team and the other members of the team. For example, you may be less eager to become friends with them and also have a more negative opinion of the person the team chooses.
As a result, you actually start rejecting them as well which puts you in a kind of vicious cycle of rejection.
Fortunately, you could then still prove yourself on the team, and usually you had other classes you were good at that made sure your self-esteem didn't get too low by being picked last at the gym.
Infringement of your self-image
Rejection can have many mental consequences. Initially, it can infringe on the self-image you have. For example, you think you are fat good at gym, but if you are chosen last, this image is not actually confirmed by your peers. Your identity as someone people like to play sports with and who is good at sports comes into play with this.
Rejection outside of sports, such as in a relationship, by supervisors or colleagues at work, or just from a job application can threaten your need to belong somewhere. People need other people to have a sense of happiness and the feeling of belonging contributes to this.
In doing so, such rejection shows that you don't have control over everything. This is very unfortunate, because we all feel some need to have control over our lives and who we interact with. People you hang out with and the work you do can also make you feel like your life has some purpose or at least usefulness to more than just yourself. Being rejected for a job can also make you feel like your life is useless.
All of these factors can contribute to lower self-confidence after rejection.
Lower ambitions after rejection
Research shows that rejection can cause your ambitions to go down. The study compared people who have experienced rejection with people who have not experienced rejection and how they behave when they can join a new group to perform a task.
The study found that people who had previously been rejected were more likely to find a role in the new group that was supportive and where they could collaborate a lot with the group, but they were not ultimately responsible for the outcome of how the group did.
In fact, people who did not suffer from rejection were more likely to want to take a leadership role in the group and thus took on more responsibility.
What is also interesting is that the study found that you do get accepted into a group more quickly if you want to take a supportive role rather than a leadership role. The chance of success, i.e. inclusion in the group rather than rejection, is therefore greater than when you aspire to a leadership role.
Rejection job application
Especially if you are often rejected for managerial positions, this can cause your ambition to drop so again and you go for executive work after all. This is very unfortunate, because usually it is not the managerial abilities that cause rejection.
If you are invited, most companies are already convinced you have the knowledge and skills.
Usually during such a job interview, they will see if you fit into the group and if you are likely to be accepted by the team you will be working with.
How to respond to a job application rejection.
Instead of the paralysis that can occur after a job application rejection, you can think of reasons why you didn't get the job. However, these reasons may not apply to the rejection at all.
What you think the reason is, and what the actual reason is, may be two completely different things.
Ask for the reason for the following application
To make sure you don't think yourself insecure, it's best to ask the company why you were rejected, especially after an interview. In that case, you can find out what their reasons were, why you don't fit the team, for example.
Perhaps your character is already very similar to someone who already works there and they are afraid that will clash.
This has nothing at all to do with how nice or knowledgeable you are.
Improving Yourself
Improving yourself is not always necessary if you are rejected for a job application, but to maintain your confidence in your business ability, it is important to stay educated.
Tip 1: Keep a blog about your work
One way to hold your level is to blog about your work. By writing about what you do, you need to keep your memory refreshed each time to find the knowledge you need to write a logical blog.
In some cases, this even causes you to research "How was it again?" and quickly dive into old material to keep that knowledge fresh. Or that you actually learn new things to keep up with the times.
In the process, a blog also helps you come across as an expert in your field, which can dramatically increase your chances of getting a job.
Tip 2: Read about your field
Another way to keep your knowledge current and therefore confident in what you can do in the business field is to keep reading about your field. If you read 3 books on a particular subject, you are often already more of an expert than most other people.
Lifelong learning, while something you hear a lot, is also something that few people do.
Keeping yourself strong
As mentioned, rejection can lead to a variety of thoughts that undermine your confidence and self-assurance.
Tip 3: Make a list of everything you know and can do
By making a list of everything you know and can do and putting it up somewhere you see it regularly, you keep confronting yourself with the fact that you have quite a lot going for you. People who disagree just don't know you.
Tip 4: Visualize the work you want to do
Visualizations also make you more confident about what you want to do. By visualizing what work you want to do, you ensure that you keep faith in your own qualities. By visualizing, you confirm to yourself that you are responding to jobs that fit your qualities.
For such visualization, you use self-hypnosis. You then make sure you are first in a relaxed state by sitting or lying down in a comfortable place. A visualization causes you to recognize what to do in a similar situation. Even your muscles are then more likely to have a signal through muscle memory just by visualizing.
You visualize the following things:
- Surroundings
- People
- Fragrances
- Sounds
- Your own behavior
- How people respond to you
- How you respond
- Your own mimicry
If, despite these tips, you continue to suffer from low self-esteem due to rejection after a job application? Then you can also go to a hypnotherapist. He or she can help you find out which beliefs cause your self-confidence to be low and he or she can help you come up with hypnotic suggestions that you can repeat at home in order to regain your confidence and self-assurance.
Want to learn more about what hypnosis can do for you? Then come to a workshop or seminar and check out Hypnosis Institute Netherlands' training programs.
Sources:
https://link.springer.com/article/10.1023%2FA%3A1010661825137?LI=true
http://diginole.lib.fsu.edu/islandora/object/fsu%3A204553/
http://psycnet.apa.org/psycinfo/2001-06667-007
