Recently, I helped someone who had a very interesting fear. Namely, she was afraid to work. Of course, this is a pretty broad term, so I asked a few questions about what this fear was really about.
In fact, you can find all kinds of treating anxiety with hypnosis[1], but there is no one approach for all types of anxiety. Each client's approach may differ.
The very idea of having to find a job made her nauseous. This was also about feeling like she would then have to go somewhere.
Grocery shopping was fine, going somewhere wasn't really the problem.
But if the idea of the job came with it, things went wrong again. For then she was also dealing with workloads that she might not be able to handle.
Then I gave her the suggestion That if she couldn't handle the workload, she could just quit working again. Again, not work just like now, and actually do fine. She agreed.
When I asked her what she would like to do, she didn't really have an answer either, but no one actually does anything at all.
It is also important to do what you like. After all, if you get anxiety about your work because it just doesn't suit you, it's not helpful for your health at all[2] So overcoming fear of work is helpful, but even so, it is helpful that you enjoy your work.
So I asked her what she was doing now.
Right now, she's painting a lot. So a fun job could be painting houses. If the weather is nice, you can work nice in the sun, and if the weather is bad, you can paint the walls inside.
Remove work pressure
One way workload to take away is by working for free. Indeed, on the one hand, you can then explore for yourself whether the work is what for you. On the other hand, you are then also not at all a risk for an entrepreneur to give you a chance. After all, if you don't cost anything, you don't have to perform.
I gave her the following suggestion: "Imagine ... Well, there's a painting company ... Then you say "Well, I'd like to intern with you or just work for a little bit, for a month or a week, for nothing." Then what? Yes, to see if that's something for me, because I don't want you to pay me either, because I don't feel like the pressure of work. But I do want to see if it's for me. Do you need someone for help?" Yes, well, for nothing so ... Well, and imagine, you like it. Well, then you say, "Well, I actually like it. Can I work here, paid of course?" Then you already have a bit of an idea.
Look, my son for example, hey ... he's 18 and I also tell him all the time: If you want to do something, you should just offer your services for free first, because employees always think "no no, I have to get paid first, and then we'll do something, huh", but entrepreneurs think "I'll show you what I can do first. And if you think that's cool, I can ask for whatever I want" Okay, that's very different. But then they've seen that value. Then they think, "Hey, she's top to have there, nice girl, quiet girl, I don't know ... all those qualities. I already have them. Nice, she can paint well too, she learns fast." They like it ... Yeah, we'd like to have that one, man." Well, and then it's easy, then there's no application process ... then there's nothing at all, because then it's just actually very easy ... And there are very few people who want to be a free employee, very few.But then you can see where it's going.”
Reframing from working to helping
I continued, but I pause the suggestion in this blog for a moment, because I continued the reframe Of the idea you can have about work. Indeed, work can have a connotation of that you have to do something and that this is for yourself, but work is also very often the helping other people. By looking at it through the lens of "helping people," you can also change the emotional charge at work.
"You can then say, 'Well, I just find it hard, you know, to just start working somewhere, and I find that hard. And I find that workload difficult, and I don't want to chase a cost right away either, I don't feel like that at all. But I would like to work." Well, people, really people, entrepreneurs, think that's great. People who want to work, you want them. You want people who want to work, all that pressure off, and you often just, "Hey, can I just help here?" So not working, but helping. Can I help you, is that what?"
Then I asked her how it now felt for her to start working. It was starting to feel strange to her now, but she was still nauseous.
This was because even now they then a step should take. But yes, people really do have to put those on their own. No people come knocking on your door asking if you might be able to work for them.
ridiculing beliefs
From this she already shot a little laugh and if you can laugh at the problem, then it's no longer a problem. So I turned on the comedian in me for a moment.
"Would be nice for you, then hear, that all of a sudden just painter arrives and says 'Well you know, I suddenly just got a very strong feeling that I should be here ... and now I'm looking into my new employee's eyes like this. Would you like to work with me? Really, I need with you here" that you think, "Wow!"Yes, but of course that doesn't happen ... unfortunately maybe, or just fortunately"
She had to giggle a lot. If she had to think about taking a step, the feeling was already changing.
Advantage over those already working
It can also feel exciting to be in the job market among a variety of people who are already working, but if you're not working yet, you also have an advantage.
So the good feeling needed some reinforcement and then I gave her focus momentarily placed to the benefit of where she sits now.
"You can now choose what you would like. A lot of people are now stuck in a job they don't like, all hassle this and that. Who may want to leave, but can't leave, well security and then blah blah blah ... but all hassle, difficult, and that makes it difficult too, doesn't it?.... Also in their minds ... Yeah, you don't have to. Hey, you don't have that right now in terms of work ... Two. You go and see if painters need you and maybe you don't find a shit about it at all, that's possible. You know, then you're painting and after a week ... You think: Seriously? People are driving me crazy, all singing Hungarian songs... I don't feel like it at all then. Then you just leave again."
She then also briefly mentioned that she can paint on canvases. That was already something I thought, but I hadn't realized so strongly myself that there was work in that. Or you have to open a gallery, hold exhibitions and the like.
Of course, you can also sell your own paintings. This is not necessarily easier, but it can be more fun.
Shop there and Sabrina is open 24/7.
When she thought about that now it began to feel strange to her, precisely because now she didn't have the feeling of keeping the work at bay, but rather the feeling of "Hmm, there's something in there."
Even if you feel you can work, you still don't have to. No one has to work. There are consequences, of course, but no one is forcing you.
She is now 26 years old and not working can keep you going that long, too. She didn't want to, but I know people who have kept going for 50 years. She didn't want that either.
That's a good starting point, because you want it.
Then I asked if she would rather do something with her hands than with her head (behind a computer). She preferred to work with her hands.
I listed some options to see how it felt. So becoming a landscaper wasn't it. And so you can work down a list until what remains is what you want to do.
We did linger a bit on painting, which is where she herself became happier of. I suggested some more future images of how she might then become a painter, and this only made her happier.
Once you take that step. Once you get into "the game," it gets easier. Suddenly, then it's easy. It's like going to the gym is harder than being at the gym and doing something. Because once you're there you're going to do something. Then you're not going to stand around for an hour watching people sweat. So then you do something, but getting there, that's a challenge.
She was now seeing more and more possibilities in painting. She couldn't pick up the old feeling at the idea of working either. The more she tried, the more she laughed (then I really did a great job😉).
She was already beginning to think toward the gallery.
Then I indicated to her that it's like an idea. All you have to do is follow the idea. Then the first step will follow naturally. Also in galleries you can see if you can help and who knows what will come of that.
But it starts with yourself. You become happy about something and you just follow that happiness. Then everything will work itself out.
Watch the entire session here:
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