Fear is a bad advisor, especially if you fear success. One fear that many people have subconsciously is the fear of actually succeeding. Making money and climbing the social ladder, but in the process making the difference between themselves and their social circle greater. The fear then is that people will become jealous or not accept the success. This can make you afraid to show talent and skills.
In this blog, I address this fear and what you can do to show talent and skills just right.
What is talent?
Initially, it is good to ask yourself what talent really is. Talent, according to the Cambridge dictionary, is the ability to be good at something without having to try very hard or without having been taught.
You should think, for example, of children teaching themselves to play the guitar. Perhaps you have a natural talent for your work, and are now even better because you have immersed yourself in it. With this, talent and hard work beats people who also work hard without the talent.
In the case of fear of success, you try precisely to keep your talent from standing out. You are trying to join the middle ground to belong to a group in particular, and that is very unfortunate.
Talent Management: Talent in Business
It is unfortunate because most companies are looking for talent in their business. These talents are then promoted and sometimes given leadership roles.
That this may cause you to be out of the group of "employees" you used to work with and now lead is not an automatic fact.
In the Friends series, you see in the first season that Chandler also faces this after he gets a promotion. Seeing this type of situation on television can cause you to have the fear of being left out, but in the same series you also see that this makes no difference to the group of friends he is a part of.
Also, the Dutch workplace is not comparable to the American workplace. We are a fairly even country without a clear hierarchy in the workplace. This is also reflected in many self-managing teams and two-way communication.
Talent and salary
Because companies prefer to use well-known people and thus prefer to promote talent within the company, there is also a correlation between talent and salary. If you have special skills or talents that other people within the company don't have or have to a lesser extent, you are more likely to earn more over time. This is because you are more necessary to the company and perhaps also because you generate more productivity or sales.
So all kinds of reasons to showcase talent and skills!
Encouraging and showcasing talent
Smart companies encourage talent in their business precisely because of the growth opportunities, but then it's still up to you to show your talent.
If there are special talent programs or course days, you can put your best foot forward at those times. Now here is the crux if it is precisely your talent and skills that you are afraid to show.
- You would rather stand or sit in an inconspicuous place.
- You are not the first to have your ideas heard.
- If your idea is just better than your (nice) colleague's, you'd rather not say anything at all (because you want to stay accepted).
- You make small mistakes on purpose.
Gain courage to show your talent
If you recognize yourself in the above situations, then it's time to get guts to express your talent. To get that guts, it's important to know why you find it difficult to show your talent in your work environment right now.
Be very honest with yourself about the fear you have. Is it the fear of not fitting in well with the group in the workplace? Or is it the fear that your private contacts will become jealous and, over time, think you're a rich stinker?
This fear you have is based on beliefs you have. In fact, beliefs determine how you see the world and how you think the world works. Many beliefs were formed in your childhood and, as a result, some beliefs may be illogical.
For example, with the fear of success, you can think of the child with the rich parents. Perhaps he/she was seen as spoiled and therefore did not belong to your group of friends. This may have created in you the belief that being successful, or rich, causes you to be excluded because you have seen this before in your life.
One way to retrieve these types of moments that were impressive enough to form a belief is with regression. You then go back to such a moment under hypnosis to look at it again, but with the adult knowledge you now have. This alone can cause you to dare to show your talents to go for success and happiness in your life.
Another cause for fear of success, for example, may be that once in the past you were super happy because of a particular success you achieved. For example, you got a high score on the Cito test. Everything in your life was going great and suddenly there was a dramatic change in your life that actually made you unhappy, such as a divorce from your parents. This can cause you to fear becoming happy and successful because this feeling is so fragile. Life can overtake happiness and you never want to feel that disappointment or that dip down again, unfortunately because of this you never feel that success again.
Techniques for more courage
Once you know the cause of your fear of showing your talent and being more successful, you can use certain techniques for more courage.
Initially, you can repeat new beliefs to yourself during self-hypnosis. You can also practice this first with a hypnotherapist.
You first relax in a comfortable place, such as your bed or favorite chair. You focus on calm breathing and close your eyes. Then you repeat hypnotic suggestions, such as:
"My voice may be heard."
"My colleagues accept me even when I am in a more managerial role."
"My family and friends are proud of me as I achieve more successes."
"I get to be happy and become happy again."
"Being up front is fun."
"I learn more when I actively participate in workshops."
These are just examples of suggestions, you can try them out, but if these don't work for you you can go to a hypnotherapist to find out which suggestions work better for you for getting more courage to express your talent.
Visualize your talent exposure
Another way to make you more likely to showcase your talent is to visualize how you do it. For example, you visualize correcting that intentionally made mistake back to what is right.
Or you visualize how to actively participate at the next workshop at work. A hypnotherapist can help you with this with a guided visualization.
As with self-hypnosis, it is important that you first relax; the hypnotist will help you with this. Next, you will be given a guided visualization, such as.
"You walk into the workshop room and sit somewhere up front where you can clearly see the screen and the workshop facilitator. You greet all your colleagues and quietly drink your cup of coffee or tea that tastes great. During the exercises, you actively participate. You answer questions and give your honest input in discussions. It feels good to participate so actively and to receive appreciation for your answers and input. You have clearly provided more insight into your talent and skills for your colleagues, and you yourself are glad you did. You feel freer and more relieved because you can better share and showcase your knowledge."
This is also just one example of a guided visualization. If there are no team outings or workshops at your work you need to showcase your talent in another way, even if those workshops only happen once a year it is a waste to wait for them.
A hypnotist can help you figure out your blocks and thus give you these types of techniques to practice with for getting more courage to showcase your talent and skills.
Want to learn more about these types of techniques? Then check out the Hypnosis Institute Netherlands calendar and sign up for a workshop or other event.
