Tackling sex addiction: Seeing your drugs as a person again
There is a difference between having a high libido and a sex addiction. With a sex addiction you have a problem and with a high libido you do not. A sex addiction is usually not even about the sex, but about the escape moment during sex. The annoying thing about a sex addiction compared to other addictions is that you are not only shortchanging yourself, but your sexual partner(s) may also suffer. That is why it is important to do something about sex addiction.
In this article, I discuss what sex addiction is and how hypnosis can help you address it.
People with sex addiction not only crave sex, but often suffer from an underlying problem. These problems may include:
People with a sex addiction continue to seek out sex even though it is harmful to themselves and their relationships. For example, through unprotected sex with many different partners, you can contract an STD, which in the worst case can be HIV or AIDS.
Also, if you suffer from a sex addiction, you may spend a large portion of your income on prostitutes, strip clubs, and other places where you hope to find a sexual partner. Sex addicts also often view pornographic material at work, even though this can lead to dismissal. So, it’s very risky behavior just to satisfy that sexual craving.
Despite the risks and costs, it is difficult for sex addicts to quit. As a result, feelings of shame and pain can also be aroused that must then be eliminated with a "date."
To truly quit or seek help with quitting, a crisis usually has to arise first. For example, if your partner catches you cheating because they aren’t in the mood for you 24/7—which isn’t really a realistic expectation anyway. Another example is getting fired for watching pornographic material at work or having sex with a coworker.
Coming into contact with the justice system because of visiting an illegal/minor prostitute can also cause a sex addict to seek help to manage his/her sexuality in a healthier way anyway.
For some people, getting "caught" is already the first release of stress because the stress of keeping everything a secret is no longer necessary.
Sex addiction compared to other addictions
Researchers are not yet entirely sure what happens in the brain of a sex addict. They do not yet know whether this hypersexual behavior involves brain activity similar to that seen in someone with a gambling addiction or a drug addiction.
Furthermore, sex addiction appears to share the same mechanisms as obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD). The problems also seem to be related to dopamine and serotonin production in the brain, similar to what is seen in someone with depression. Scientists are also investigating this issue by focusing on impulse control, attention, and emotional regulation.
So the problems of a sex addict are still difficult for science to grasp.
Sex addiction treatment
Because the cause of sex addiction is not always the same, there is also no standard treatment for sex addiction.
However, some specialists do suggest taking a closer look at the thoughts that lead to these risky behaviors. For example, if a patient says they need it and can't stop, one might ask what the patient is afraid of if they don't give in to the feeling of having sex.
Hypnotherapy can be a great support to take a look at the beliefs that lead to actual sex without love.
This includes recommended group therapies.
Hypnotherapy for against sex addiction
Because there are so many possible factors that can cause sex addiction to develop, there are multiple ways to get help against sex addiction with hypnotherapy.
For example, if there are beliefs that have led you to think you need sex to have a fulfilling life, it’s important to identify and change those beliefs.
One way to do this is with regression therapy. During regression therapy, you can figure out the moment that caused you to be more susceptible to addiction. In doing so, regression therapy provides a platform to look at that moment with different eyes. That way, you can draw different conclusions from it than "now let me go have sex with whoever.".
Normalizing sexual relationships
In addition, hypnotherapy can help you develop beliefs that allow you to approach sex in a healthy way. This doesn’t mean you’ll suddenly develop a different sexual preference; rather, it means you don’t necessarily have to have sex. It means you might stop having sex with people you don’t really know. It means you’ll learn to enter into a healthy relationship again, deepen it through sex, and be truly present during sex.
For example, research shows that people with sex addiction can suffer from disassociation. This means that while they are dealing with the addiction, whether actively or not, they do not feel involved with themselves. Their mind may then disassociate from the reality of the moment.
Unconscious rituals
Most addictions involve an unconscious ritual before, during and after the act of addiction takes place. During hypnotherapy, one can find out what this ritual looks like. Then the hypnotherapist can give a new ritual in its place.
For example, if the ritual is to meet a person immediately after work to have sex with, the new ritual may be to exercise for half an hour immediately after work. This still preserves part of the ritual, namely physical exertion, but eliminates the risks.
Finding out triggers
In addition, hypnotherapy can help identify the triggers of this behavior; as mentioned earlier, stress, anxiety, depression, and shame can be underlying issues for someone with a sex addiction. For example, if stress at work or in a relationship is a trigger for seeking out sex, this can be addressed.
Then the hypnotherapist can provide tools for the addict to better manage stress. This eliminates the need for sexual release to provide stress reduction.
If just certain fears cause you to seek sex as a sex addict, this can also be figured out with hypnotherapy. Then the fears can be addressed. For example, if there is a fear of physical attractiveness that causes the person to seek affirmation from others instead of themselves, the hypnotherapist can help you get a better view of your body.
Empowering Ego
Feelings of shame that can arise from sex addiction are not good for your self-esteem. You may blame yourself as a sex addict for having had sex after the act and get all kinds of thoughts that reflect negatively on yourself. In order to stop an addiction, belief in yourself and your own ability is important.
Hypnotherapists can therefore also conduct ego-strengthening exercises with a sex addict to ensure the treatment is more successful.
Trauma Treatment
In some cases, sex addiction is a result of trauma or you have suffered trauma due to sex addiction, such as a sexual partner who went further than you wanted. In that case, the hypnotherapist can help you process the trauma.
During hypnotherapy, other psychological methods such as Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) and Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP) are also used. Multiple studies show that hypnosis can enhance the treatments of CBT and NLP.
In short
Sex addiction is an addiction that can easily be mistaken for a high libido, but if you find yourself cheating often during a relationship, paying for sex regularly, taking risks such as unprotected sex with unknown people, or not really feeling yourself during the act you may be suffering from a sex addiction.
Sex addiction can result from stress, anxiety, depression, shame and even past trauma. Scientists are not yet entirely sure how the brain activities of a sex addict are compared to other addictions, but do indicate that it is important to scrutinize and once contradict thoughts that lead to the behavior.
Hypnotherapy can help to examine these thoughts more closely. Hypnotherapy also helps identify the cause of addiction if it is not yet clear to the addict. Then the therapist can use a variety of techniques to change and eliminate the addiction.
Would you like to learn more about hypnosis? Check out the events and training programs offered by the Hypnosis Institute of the Netherlands.
Sources:
http://www.webmd.com/sexual-conditions/features/is-sex-addiction-real
http://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/10720169508400090
http://www.hypnotherapy-directory.org.uk/articles/sex-addiction.html