Self-confidence tips: 11 times a more confident you

Self-confidence, it is something that often comes up on this website as a solution to mental problems and blockages. Fortunately, there are multiple ways to work on your self-confidence, which is why in this blog I'm listing 11 helpful tips that you can apply immediately to gain more self-confidence.

First, it's important to know that self-confidence is built from some sort of combination of the self-image you have, your self-esteem and to what extent you feel you can do something. For example, you may be more confident in riding a bike than in driving a car.

Therefore, you get mostly mental tips and a few other more practical tips.

Tip 1: Encourage yourself in the mirror

Encouraging yourself positively in the mirror every morning may seem very strange, but it really is a good way to become more confident. For example, you can hang a bill on your mirror with the following phrases:

I'm awesome.

I can do this.

Looking good.

I'm smart.

You can also write down other positive phrases about yourself and say some or all of them out loud to yourself in the mirror every day. Do not read them out loud! Look at yourself as you say this.

Whether at work or in the schoolyard, you’ll arrive brimming with confidence—and reap the benefits for the rest of the day.

Tip 2: Self-hypnosis

Actually, encouraging yourself in the mirror is already very similar to self-hypnosis. The difference is that in self-hypnosis, you actually relax and close your eyes. To do this, you lie or sit in a comfortable place. Next, you focus on your breathing. For this, you breathe through the abdomen and try to make the inhalation breaths last as long as the exhalation breaths. You relax your muscles. You can do this, for example, in a kind of sped-up version of the mindfulness body scan.

When relaxed, close your eyes and repeat the positive phrases you use to encourage yourself.

You can also first see a hypnotherapist for this, who can provide targeted hypnotic suggestions to improve your self-confidence in certain areas.

Tip 3: Step out of your comfort zone

Try something new—something you actually find a little scary, but that’s harmless. This can be incredibly helpful in building self-confidence. A lack of or low self-confidence is often the result of a fear of the unknown. The first time you gave a presentation at school, you found it really annoying and scary, but the last time, you knew you’d get through it and that it wasn’t really a big deal.

This is because you had to cross that line. Similarly, you can try doing something daily or at least weekly to get out of your comfort zone for a while. You will find out that you can do more than you currently think and that alone will help improve your self-confidence.

Tip 4: Meditation

Stress is often a cause of low self-esteem. It can give you all sorts of negative self-talk thoughts about not being able to complete certain tasks on time, for example. Therefore, reducing stress can already be a good way to improve your daily self-confidence as well.

Just 5 to 10 minutes of meditation every morning can be enough to significantly reduce stress and, as a result, boost your self-confidence.

Tip 5: Visualize the situation as you want it to be

You’re feeling uncertain about a situation that will happen in the future, such as performing a specific task or meeting your in-laws. Visualizing this situation exactly as you want it to unfold helps you gain more confidence that things might actually turn out well.

In visualization, you don't just visualize what it looks like, you visualize how you feel, how your senses perceive the environment, such as whether it is hot or cold, the smells and even how your muscles feel when making movements. Try to make the visualization as complete as possible.

If you have trouble visualizing, you can also first see a hypnotherapist who will help you with a guided visualization. This can inspire you for the visualization you can perform yourself.

Tip 6: Reward yourself

You often feel it very well when something goes wrong. You get a little queasy and it's hard to put a smile on your face. When something goes right we often think it's quite normal, but of course that doesn't really encourage building self-confidence when something goes right.

Therefore, reward yourself regularly when you do something and this goes well. For example, you have achieved an important goal at work or for yourself, then reward yourself. For example, with new clothes or an outing. The things that go well remain better in your memory and this can make the things that go wrong less prominent. The result is then more self-confidence.

Tip 7: Surround yourself with people who are kind

Are you the clown in your group of friends? You're the clown, the smarty-pants, the person who always gets over those funny things, but which aren't really funny to you at all? Are those friends? Always laughing because you make a fuck up?

It's important to surround yourself with people who build you up and not people who tear you down, even subtly and half nice. Breaking down is just not nice.

So surround yourself with people you are energized by and never leave with a negative feeling when you have been there. People who support you when you're struggling with something, not people who think it's funny and then don't support you.

Tip 8: Read informational books

Reading a novel can be a lot of fun, for a while you are in the dream world of the book and away from reality. Unfortunately, it does nothing for your self-confidence. It mainly does something to your relaxation, which of course is also good!

By reading informative books—for example, about the field in which you work or want to work—you can develop yourself, which also gives your self-confidence a boost. This way, you can always draw on the knowledge from the books during conversations and refer people to the book if they don’t believe you. End of discussion—ta-da!

Tip 9: Do instead of think

You know that image of The Thinker? What does that one actually do? He sits and leans his head on his hand and does nothing else at all. Are you also someone who can get totally absorbed in thoughts about what you will do when you grow up?

Try not putting that off, just do it. Keep a notebook handy and every time you have a thought about something you can do, put it on the list.

Then each day (or week depending on how big your plans are) you pick something from that notebook and just do it.

This works incredibly well for your self-confidence and your motivation.

Tip 10: Move!

Your self-image may revolve around how you literally look. If you aren’t very active right now, you can start by walking for 30 minutes every day or even working out 2 or 3 times a week.

Exercise makes you feel and look better. This can do wonders for your self-confidence. Don't currently have enough self-confidence to go to the gym? Then you can get many videos and overviews on YouTube and other websites for fun workouts.

Tip 11: Make a list of what you have accomplished

Sometimes you actually forget how amazing you are. Then make a list of everything you've accomplished. You may start as early in your life as possible, such as getting your bow tie diploma. You'll see that the list eventually becomes quite long. You also don't have to talk only about degrees and work things in the list. You can also put personal things you have accomplished, such as being able to knit or having made a painting, on this list.

Keep the list well and at times when you momentarily lack self-confidence grab it again. You can also add to it each year.

Want to learn more about boosting your self-confidence? Then come to the workshop or read the book Break Free!