Everyone often has a vessel full of judgments that we project onto the world. I myself have an opinion about everything. If I walk outside and I see something I think something about it. This I do keep inside, I don't say everything I think. Because what I think is sometimes useful not to say. For example, I also have an opinion about the LGBTQ+ community, but first let's take a look at opinions and judgments
Sometimes it's awkward to share your opinion, because who really thinks so?
The difference between an opinion and judgment
You have opinions and judgments. I have an opinion on everything, unbelievably. Edwin keeps going. He wakes up and it starts right away.
Perhaps you too know it when you wake up and immediately "turn on."
I walk out pretty quickly after drinking a big glass of water. Then I go for a walk and my head turns on.
But I have thus made the distinction between judgment and opinion. I have an opinion about everything. That Edwin is then angry, then fine, then this, then that. But I am not. Because if we peel off everything, we are all light and love.
Light and Love has no judgment or opinion. So when that comes up it doesn't have to be who you really are and so it has to be Edwin. Looking at it that way helps me tremendously.
Distinguishing between having an opinion and a judgment is also helpful. I have an opinion about everything, but I don't judge.
What does LGBTQ+ mean?
LGBTQ+ stands for people's sexual preferences or feelings. It is short for lesbian, gay, bisexual, trans, intersex and + (anything you can think of).
Actually, anyone with a particular sexual preference or feelings about their gender gets some kind of sticker.
Many people who have this sticker also suffer a bit. For example, Finnish research shows that couples in this group often pretend that everything is going well and, as a result, do not get the support that straight couples get[1].
But the literature section of the study also notes that couples in this group are more likely to use humor and affection during disagreements than heterosexual couples.
It does indicate that LGBTQ+ couples are less likely to seek help for their relationship for fear of how a practitioner views the relationship.
These are all interesting insights and it also shows that everyone has an opinion, judgment or feeling on what is and is not accepted (even in healthcare).
LGBTQ+, is it all a pigeonhole?
Sometimes I also make videos of my opinion, such as that I think with the LGBTQ+ community, the O also belongs, the O of Old Fashioned.
I simply feel that I am allowed to be the way I am. Of course I do take people into account, but in doing so I am allowed to be the way I am. I have fought for that within myself, then others are also allowed to be as they are.
From that principle, I look out into the world and then sometimes I don't understand anything at all.
Then I had a lot of emails about that video. People hear what they want to hear, so those heard that I didn't think everyone could be themselves.
Or that we all should have had our own cubicle.
Those days of pigeonholing don't make sense to me. Because we are moving more and more toward freedom, but that freedom creates more separateness. Now I assume that eventually that will come back together. That everyone is allowed to be who they are in freedom and we are all actually the same.
Acceptance of yourself and others
This is a great start. If I get to be who I am, you get to be who you are. But I am allowed to have an opinion about it. Which in this case is "I don't understand it at all."
This is interesting, because if the other person thinks I should accept him/her or their or it as they are, so should the other way around.
Then you also have to accept that I don't understand shit.
Then you also have to accept that maybe your parents will ban you.
And now things are getting intense.
If you think the world should accept you (and I agree, I'm on your/their/their side), can you accept that your parents, classmates or maybe 80/90/95% of the world doesn't understand you at all?
Can you accept those people?
Can you even accept the people who hate you.
Because it's very easy to say "you should just accept me, but I don't accept the world because they don't accept me."
Then I think: isn't it the other way around?
This is just an opinion.
Isn't it more convenient to think, "I accept everyone as they are."
Then it's a lot easier to expect it from someone else.
Suppose someone can't do that, it doesn't matter, because they are just the way they are and that is allowed.
Then if that's someone who doesn't understand anything about it and is just old-fashioned and "I don't like you, don't accept you and think gays are disgusting" that may be there too. But can you? Of course, that is next-level thinking, feeling and being.
Taking away the struggle with compassion
I see many people fighting for acceptance, but they, conversely, often cannot accept that there are those who cannot accept it.
But if you can do that, then that struggle is gone. Because then you no longer care.
This may be very short, and in some parts of the world it is not easy. Because if you get out there for who you are and how you feel, you might get the death penalty.
Then, of course, you're not going to share that. But can you accept that those people are like that?
The second point is. You are not a tree, you can leave. You can say, "I'm leaving this environment."
You can move away from your family if they are bad for you. Sometimes that's the best way.
This sounds very easy, but it absolutely is not.
But if you can accept that your family is like that and understand and even feel compassion, suddenly everything feels very different.
But let's start with understanding. If you understand that this is how the man and woman are put together and they are never going to accept you as you are. Then it may just happen that what you longed for then suddenly does happen, but if it doesn't happen it's okay too.
That's kind of nice. Then you can still have an opinion on anything and everything, but that anything and everything else is fine.
It doesn't always work out. But I do my best to make it work....
When you peel that all off, we are all light and love. You sometimes feel that unity. That you think, "Wow, this is light."
We project our story onto that light. When we do that and those people hear into that story, it's in us. If we project that outward, that's something in us that we ourselves are struggling with.
If we can accept and understand that and even have an opinion about it, that's fine.
But judging is another thing, because everyone is allowed to be as they are.
When you put yourself in the upbringing and experiences of someone you don't like, you may wonder if you would have done things differently than they did. Very probably not. So should we ban you on that fact? No, of course not.
I understand it's not easy, but it helps to make a difference between opinions and judgments.
This also helps me become softer to myself. Everything I see from the outside is projected from my own head and I do. If I realize that and can see more and more, why should I start judging everything? Then I am only talking to myself. I don't feel like that anymore.
I used to do that a lot, but now I'm at an age where I'm starting to look at the world in a different way. My higher purpose is that if I can see love in the world, then I see it in you and others. That feels a lot nicer than seeing misery, hatred and aggression in everything.
Also listen to this podcast:
https://open.spotify.com/episode/2KTLFt9cLniZG0AI3F0vS9?si=K8uj-0SsReC6Zjucem_AEg&dl_branch=1
Sometimes all these tips aren't enough to make you feel good about your identity and you're left feeling kind of combative. In that case, you can do more than just read this blog.
Many insights about yourself and others can also be gained during hypnosis. With hypnosis, for example, you can empathize with your parents or someone else and how they got to the point where you now have a problem. This can give you tools to look at your parents differently or deal with them in a different way.
Want to learn more about how hypnosis works then? Come to the free online master class on hypnosis.
Or enroll directly in one of our training courses to help yourself, or just others. Ideal if you work with people.
Sources:
[1] https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/full/10.1177/1440783320964545
