Sometimes you can think it's very important what others think about you, but how useful is that importance really? If it prevents you from just doing what you like, but keeps you doing what "should" you end up not living your own life. If you are always concerned with what others think, it is incredibly tiring.
You can worry about all sorts of things that people think of you. This can be about how you look, what you are doing, and even how they feel about certain life choices you have made[1].
What others think about you
Of course, in some cases it is helpful to consider what other people think about you. For example, if you are going to give a presentation, it is helpful to look presentable and not present in your pajamas.
When someone expresses an opinion, you can quickly relate it to yourself as well. When someone says something about another person you think, "What does he think about me?"
There are several places in your life where you may be bothered by what other people think about you. In your private environment, for example, you may worry about what family and friends think of you, which in itself makes sense.
Having a perception of what other people think of you, for example, is something you do to keep your social relationships good. Especially if you are good at estimating what impression you give, this can be good for your social relationships. For your mood, however, it is more helpful to think that people have a good opinion of you, regardless of whether that thought is true or not[2].
So somewhere, it makes sense that you would be somewhat concerned about how family, friends and colleagues think about you.
But things get a lot more problematic when you care what your neighbor thinks of you. After all, this is a social bond that doesn't have to be very strong.
How people behave in relation to you
Usually you start thinking about what someone thinks of you by how they act toward you. Then consider that people are often more concerned with themselves than with other people. In addition, someone who is short-tempered may also have experienced something unrelated to you and therefore be a bit grumpy.
Even at work, you may worry a lot about what others think of you, such as your manager or colleagues. Usually that worry then hits on "being good enough" for your job. After all, you want to keep your job.
Still, you may be more strict about what you think other people think about you than is the case.
If you make a mistake, for example, you may be terribly upset about it, while your manager may have forgotten about it within five minutes because it's not such a big deal.
There are often many explanations that have nothing to do with you. Which explain why someone isn't being completely wonderful to you that day. Someone may have problems in their personal life. Someone may have just experienced something nasty 15 minutes before you.
Mostly, it has nothing to do with you.
You think this yourself
As you may have noticed, what you think other people think about you is a thought you have yourself.
These kinds of thoughts about what others think about you can make you very insecure, so as the initial research shows, it's not good for you either.
It is much more convenient to think that people think you are good enough, regardless of whether it is true or not, than the other way around.
In doing so, people often don't think much about other people at all, but mostly about themselves.
What do you think about others?
If you still suffer from this feeling of what other people think about you, consider this: what are you doing yourself? Are you judging people all day long or are you mostly concerned with the day-to-day things that need to be done?
I'm going to assume for a moment that you're mostly concerned with your work and not so concerned with having judgment on other people.
Do you have one anyway? If so, try cutting back on that. You'll find that this will also make you worry less about what other people think about you.
Why bother
If you worry about what people think of you, when that in itself is not an essential social relationship, it can be problematic. Then it may be helpful to ask yourself why you think it is important to come across well to:
- That neighbor down the street behind you.
- The Cashier.
- The receptionist who is not about your job.
Generally speaking, you may care about this because of the beliefs you have about the world and how the world works. Somewhere, at some point, you may have developed the belief that it is important that everyone thinks well of you or that everyone thinks something about you at all.
So this is absolutely not true. Now you can read this, but that doesn't immediately change your feelings.
Fortunately, hypnotherapy can help you to change this feeling though, so that you only worry about what good friends think of you and that you can otherwise live a more relaxed life.
What generally happens is that you use regression to find out the genesis moment of such a belief. Then you can reinterpret that moment with the knowledge you now have. In doing so, you change connections in your brain very quickly because the memory is "remembered" again.
This alone can make what others think of you matter a lot less to not at all.
Why do you think they think negatively of you?
Usually, what others think about you only bothers you when you think others think negatively about you. This, of course, is not helpful at all.
In this case, there may be more to it than just being bothered by the thought that others think something about you. In fact, if it is also negative, it may also say something about your self-confidence.
Chances are, when you were little, you used to gain self-confidence because your parents, teacher or friends told you that you were good at something. You got approval from other people and that built you up.
Only when you're an adult suddenly there are a lot fewer people giving you a high five when you've done something good. Then you suddenly start paying attention to body language and other signals and try to draw some kind of conclusion from that about what other people think of you.
After all, it is ultimately your own thoughts that you project onto what you think what others think about you.
Therefore, it can also be helpful to work on your self-confidence, to be less bothered by what others think about you.
There are also multiple ways to do this with hypnosis or self-hypnosis.
With self-hypnosis, for example, you can repeat certain suggestions while in the hypnotic state to feel better about yourself. To enter the hypnotic state, you first sit or lie down in a comfortable place. You take a deep breath and relax your body completely. Then you repeat the suggestions, such as:
"I'm good enough."
"My colleagues find me capable."
"My friends love me."
"I have a lot to be thankful for."
These are just examples. Depending on your problems with what others think about you, a hypnotherapist may give you other suggestions to repeat at home.
In addition, of course, you can always give yourself a pat on the back or high five when you've finished something at work or done something good in general to feel even better than just completing a task.
Hypnotherapy to help yourself and others
As mentioned, hypnotherapy can do a lot to be less bothered by what other people think of you. Want to learn more about the techniques or how to come up with good suggestions to make yourself stronger or even help other people as a coach or therapist?
Please join us for a free online master class on hypnosis.
Or enroll in one of our training courses. The trainings are conducted online, so external factors do not affect the progress of the training and your learning flow.
Also pin this handy infographic:
Sources:
[1] https://psychcentral.com/blog/why-do-we-care-what-others-think#1
