How to change behavior: Own what you do and change it
Changing behavior is easier said than done. Many behaviors stem from how you see yourself.
When you take ownership then everything changes.
Just own it. Really, take ownership. That's just what it's always about. I see so many people suffering from fears, inferiority, insecurity, suffering from their childhood, suffering from their parents. Those people are always with little voices in their heads telling them what they can and cannot do. If you then consider that they do it all themselves, it is quite extraordinary. Of course they won't say that because yes, "I don't do that anyway, I have that," but with that you are subtly shifting your ownership onto something you don't have.
Let's take insecurity as an example. You are insecure, depressed or certain blockages are in your head, body or organs. "That's just the way I am" or "that's just the way I am" are statements that fit this
When you say you’re insecure, your entire identity becomes insecurity.
Your hair, your toenails, everything is then insecure because it's you. While this is not true at all.
Because your nails growing, your hair growing, your cells regenerating. That's just fine so it's not true that your whole identity is insecure.
You are not—or do not have—any insecurity.
You either act uncertain or you act afraid.
This is not to say that you do this consciously. Your behavior is not always conscious, so you have to make yourself aware of your behavior.
You might say, yes, sure you can do something different. But if you don't know how, that's very easy to say. If I say to you: here you have a quadratic equation, solve it, and you think 'huh? First, I've never heard of that and second, what are we talking about?' Then you can't. I can then say 'You're stupid,' but that makes no sense at all, because you haven't learned how to do that. You can compare uncertainty to a quadratic equation, which you may now have no idea how to do. So how to do it? That's the second question.
First claim yourself. That you do from self insecurity, fear or unhealthiness.
Most importantly.
People are often looking for a solution. They are trying to find a solution.
Insecurity, anxiety, fatigue—you’re the one causing all of this. You’re acting insecure, and you can resolve this by doing things differently—such as acting confidently. Or maybe something else.
But the first step to changing behavior is to own it, take ownership and claim it.
This is very difficult. Uncertainty you can still kind of understand, that you say "Yes, I do scared and I do like this.
You can extend this further to all diseases and defects. That, of course, is already more difficult. Substances that you don't create or do create, that you claim the same. I do. This is pretty intense.
When you say, "I'm missing a substance," you are telling yourself that you are.
Then I say, no, you don't make that substance. You do. Of course, that is very different from saying that you are missing something, because you are not missing anything at all. You just don't make certain things and you do make certain things, and of course you may need outside help with that. Imagine, I don't make insulin and I say I do it myself. Then I claim it. Then I still need help, because I have to inject extra insulin. Yes, okay, well, so then you do something else and then you supplement.
You do the injecting of insulin.
There are also people who claim they’re missing certain chemicals in their brains and say they’re taking antidepressants for that. You might be skeptical about that. Do you have depression, or are you just acting depressed?
Maybe you have experienced something and feel and behave this way because of it. Maybe you think things that are not helpful and feel and act depressed as a result.
Maybe you have certain deficiencies in your food, maybe you need to take vitamins?
I don't know either huh, don't get me wrong. Of course, it could also be that an antidepressant works for you. However, I think there are lots of other things more useful to try before taking such a pill.
Imagine you’re feeling depressed, tired, or down, and then you start working out hard. Or you start eating lots of vegetables and avoiding sugar as much as possible.
You start paying attention to your diet and exercise patterns, and then after three months you see what's left of the depressive behavior. Maybe it's gone, it just might be.
But this takes a lot more effort than just taking a pill.
Once, someone came up to me and told me there was a pill for diabetes. That pill would make you lose weight, and then you wouldn’t have diabetes anymore.
So you have a certain lifestyle. You've taught yourself not to exercise and to eat a lot. And then you're going to give him a pill so he'll lose weight. Surely you can do that better differently?
Perhaps it helps, that for a while it is a means to ensure that you change your lifestyle. But you might also want to start changing your lifestyle.
Take ownership of your actions. Stop blaming your parents, brothers, or sisters for why you are the way you are. You’re the one doing it! These are all external factors, so don’t blame the government or the economy either.
Also, don't blame internal things, such as your genes, your organs, your heart, your thoughts, your substances and other things.
When you claim it and say you do it, miraculous things happen. So just own it.
Every time you experience something and label it as a problem simply say, "I'm doing this." When you say that, then you can go do something else.
Be sure to listen to this podcast as well
https://www.buzzsprout.com/195236/1222802-own-het-gewoon
Why do you do what you do?
Depression and other disorders often have benefits as well. Are you an introvert? Then depression can be used as an excuse not to meet with anyone.
It is also important to figure out if you are doing something you are doing so that you have a good and acceptable excuse for not doing something. To reject people, for example, without hurting their feelings.
- Or so you can get away with totally unacceptable behavior.
- Or so you can escape certain obligations.
- Or so you can get Ritalin (by faking ADHD or ADD).
- Or so you can get money from your disability insurance[1].
You might even be doing this unconsciously. Of course, this doesn’t apply if you’re doing it to get medication or money, but if you find it difficult to stand up for yourself or say “no,” a certain condition can serve as an excuse that people don’t really have a good reason to object to.
Perhaps you then have the belief that simply saying "no" is not done.
That's not at all convenient.
With hypnosis, you can use a Socratic dialogue to repeat the “why” question (or similar questions) several times to get to the core of your belief. Then you’ll know immediately what you need to change.
Changing beliefs to do healthy
In that case, it’s important to identify your beliefs. Why do you find it difficult to eat healthy and exercise? Is healthy food too expensive? Does it have to do with self-esteem? Or is healthy food just not tasty enough? Does it have to do with how much fun everything has to be for you?
For example, when did insecurity, overeating or depression start?
You can uncover this through regression. With regression, you go back to the very first moment your problem began. The very first moment the belief arose that causes you to do what you’re doing now.
Then you start to revisit and change this moment in your mind, changing the belief that causes you to not feel good or experience a problem. And that changes or solves the problem.
Research shows that depression can be treated very well with hypnotherapy. For example, with regression or gestalt therapy[2].
Gestalt therapy involves making you aware of how your body feels and how to change it.
So even if you're not subconsciously faking something, hypnosis can help you. So even if something is really going on. This helps you feel and behave differently almost immediately.
Affirmations for doing things differently
In addition, you can change behavior or feelings of an illness by repeating affirmations. Which affirmations work best for you depends on the behavior or problem you want to change. A hypnotherapist can help you find the best affirmations for you.
These can include affirmations such as:
"I am strong."
"I can do anything."
"I do what I want."
"I can do what I imagine."
These are just examples, depending on your beliefs and goals you may get other suggestions from a hypnotherapist.
You can then start your day by repeating these affirmations in front of the mirror or while still relaxed in bed with self-hypnosis.
With hypnosis, it’s possible to change all kinds of behaviors and problems in the ways mentioned above—and in other ways as well. These can include chronic headaches, stomachaches, anxiety, depression, sadness, anger, family-related stress, sleep disorders, and urinary tract infections[3].
Would you like to know exactly how hypnosis works and whether you can hypnotize yourself or others? Then come join a free online masterclass.
Want to learn more and see how hypnotherapy can have a quick effect? Then come to a hypnosis seminar.
Do you feel the need to get started right away to help yourself or others change unhelpful behavior? Then sign up for one of our training programs.
[1] https://www.verywellmind.com/faking-depression-1066887
[2] https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S1130527416300561
[3] https://www.mdpi.com/2227-9067/4/4/19/htm?id=4081011