If you are dissatisfied, it can be about anything. Your partner, your lawyer, your life, your job. It can be about anything. In this blog, I explore having a dissatisfied feeling and what you can do about it.
Feeling dissatisfied
Dissatisfaction can actually be about anything, but what is at least clear is that something is not the way you want it to be.
That dissatisfaction can manifest itself in a variety of feelings such as:
Sometimes this is not very clear and you actually feel mostly dissatisfaction or discontent. But if you think a little further, you will know what feeling goes with that dissatisfied feeling.
Dissatisfied with my life
One problem that many people have who are dissatisfied with their lives is that they are unemployed, for example. Research shows that people who are unemployed are more dissatisfied than those with jobs, and when performing similar activities, those without jobs tend to be sadder.
What is another advantage of not having a job is that you can use the time a person normally spends at work to do something that makes you happy[1].
This also provides an immediate entry point on what you can do to be more satisfied anyway, namely something that makes you happy.
For example, how much time do you spend doing something that makes you happy? By checking this out and scheduling time for something that makes you happy, you can at least do something to be more satisfied.
Of course, not everyone is dissatisfied with his or her life when they are unemployed, and people with jobs can also be dissatisfied with their lives.
For example, if work is not what they really want to do.
American research shows that people who are very dissatisfied with their lives often experience the following problems:
- Physical Problems
- Mental Problems
- Being prevented from doing activities
- Depressive symptoms
- Fears
- Sleep Disorders
- Pain
- Smoking
- Physical inactivity
- Overweight
- Drinking a lot (alcoholism)
- Chronic illness
- Lack of social support[2]
Always dissatisfied
If you find that you are always dissatisfied, it is of course super annoying. There's clearly something bothering you then that you find difficult to let go of.
In itself, this does not have to be a bad thing, as this may also be what motivates you to do something so that you are actually satisfied.
But if that "doing something" over and over again doesn't yield anything in terms of satisfaction, that's super annoying.
If you want to do something practical to be more satisfied, I have good news for those who like a glass of wine on occasion. There is no correlation with alcohol and actually being satisfied with your life.
So drinking less is not necessarily necessary (but perhaps it is if your alcohol use is leading to problems).
Surprisingly, using sunscreen or other sun protection is something that has a positive correlation with feeling satisfied.
In addition, the following can also help you be more satisfied:
- Movement
- Quit Smoking
- Eating Fruit
- Eating less fat[3].
These are mostly things you can do physically to feel more satisfied with your life, but sometimes just a physical change is not enough.
Getting rid of dissatisfied feelings
There are a number of things you can do to suffer less from dissatisfied feelings.
In a course I taught some time ago, I had the following to say about it.
You are often dissatisfied by something other than what you think it is.
You can say to yourself:
"I never feel dissatisfaction with the reason I think."
This hooks into the idea that a thought means nothing.
But you can also use this idea with an event or a person who gives you dissatisfaction. You can apply this to anything you believe is causing your dissatisfaction.
Dissatisfaction can manifest as fear, anxiety, hatred, jealousy, you name it all. These feelings all seem different, but in themselves they are about dissatisfaction or discontent.
Any form is actually suitable as a topic. The first step is to realize that a dissatisfied feeling has a form, such as one of those emotions mentioned above.
Initially, you can name your dissatisfied feeling, such as fear or jealousy as the cause.
You first explore your thought about that dissatisfaction for a minute.
You may be very inclined toward a particular idea, but by thinking about it for a minute and looking beyond just the "logical" idea, you can explore something. You can then figure out a number of different forms.
Anything that comes to mind that has dissatisfaction is good to practice with. Because it is hard to let go of dissatisfaction on one side when you are holding it somewhere else.
Then you start doing the exercise:
For example:
"I don't feel angry at Sjonnie for the reason I think."
"I don't feel afraid of the highway for the reason I think."
"I don't feel concerned about money for the reason I think."
"I don't feel dejected for the reason I think."
Etc.
Do this exercise three to four times a day. Try not to apply randomness, realize that any form of dissatisfaction is dissatisfaction.
Also, listen to the explanation of the exercise here:
https://www.buzzsprout.com/195236/7121113-eciw-les-5?play=true
The roles in your life
In your life, you often have many roles or elements as well. For example, you are at home, at work, with friends or somewhere in a club with your hobby. What you may notice is that these facets of your life can bring you joy or dissatisfaction.
Balancing these issues in your life can also be important to reduce dissatisfaction.
What can help is to make roles in your life that you are satisfied with more important to you. You might work less if you love being the stay-at-home dad or mom. Or you could meet with friends a little more often or take on a bigger role in your hobby.
Enhancing your role in the domain that makes you happy can reduce dissatisfaction with the domain that doesn't make you happy, or be a way to cope[4].
Hypnosis to eliminate dissatisfaction
Is the exercise in this blog not working for you or are you just not really figuring out why you feel dissatisfied? Then hypnosis can also help you. If you understand hypnotherapy a little, you can even apply it to yourself with self-hypnosis.
For example, people with hemophilia (that's when your blood can't make crusts or is difficult to make crusts) are in a lot of pain and are often more dissatisfied with their lives as a result. A pilot study of treatment combined with hypnotherapy found that over time, the group with hypnotherapy suffered less pain and were more satisfied with their lives[5].
So dissatisfaction can come from a variety of emotions, but at least there is something that is not the way you think it should be. This could be your body letting you down with illness or something else altogether.
What you think about how things should be depends on the beliefs you have. A hypnotherapist will work with that, for example by double-checking with you how logical certain beliefs are.
An example of a belief:
"I can only be happy if I have money."
This is one of those beliefs that can leave you dissatisfied. A hypnotherapist then helps you change those beliefs to something more constructive.
This can sometimes be done quite simply by repeating certain suggestions, such as:
"I have everything to feel satisfied about."
"The little things in life make it beautiful."
These are just examples. Depending on your beliefs and causes for dissatisfaction, a hypnotherapist may give you other suggestions.
Sometimes it also takes more than just repeating hypnotic suggestions. For example, you can get help with determining what makes you happy and how to get there with your abilities.
Or, instead, you can dig into your past for the moment when a belief arose that makes you feel dissatisfied now to change that moment in your mind. That change of your memory, or the interpretation of that memory, can be enough to look at certain problems with a lighter feeling.
Some people even feel after completing hypnotherapy that they no longer even understand why they were dissatisfied. Super fun!
Want to learn more about hypnosis to help yourself or others be more fulfilled? Then come to the free online master class on hypnosis.
Or enroll directly in one of our training courses. Ideal if you work with people or as a coach.
Sources:
[1] https://academic.oup.com/ej/article-abstract/120/547/867/5089697
[2] https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007%2Fs10900-007-9066-4
[3] https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s12529-009-9032-x
