You're a little, mwha, bleh and not positive. Not totally negative either, but you notice that you are lifeless and have little desire to do anything. You are not cheerful either, but to speak of depression again is going too far. You are quick to call certain things boring and sad. In short, you are dejected.
Have you been suffering from this dejected feeling for too long now anyway? Then continue reading this blog to see what you can do about it.
Dejected feeling
Now is it feeling dejected, depressed or just acting dejected?
If you suffer from dejection, you often suffer from the following characteristics:
- Impaired performance of work or sports
- Experiencing more anxiety than usual
- More affected by anger than usual
- Less energy than usual
- Less enthusiasm than usual
- Less happy/happy than usual
This feeling also has all kinds of effects on behavior, on what you do. For example, research shows that depressed athletes are more restrained, less likely to re-evaluate the situation, less confident in their ability to influence emotions, and less convinced that it ís possible to regulate emotions at all.
This is incredibly annoying because in doing so, you place the responsibility for changing the dejected feeling outside yourself.
Fortunately, you can do a lot yourself to reduce dejection and become more cheerful and happy again. This is also very important to do because being dejected for long periods of time can lead to depression.
Finding the cause of dejection
To change the dejected feeling, it is important to identify the cause. There can be all kinds of causes for dejection. Things aren't going so well at work, your relationship is having a dip. There can be all kinds of causes.
Often you feel betrayed, abandoned or just plain alone.
Don't know what that cause is? Then a hypnotherapist can help you identify the cause. This can be done, for example, with regression or with a Socratic conversation under hypnosis.
Added to this are a number of situations where being dejected is more common than you might think.
Dejected after quitting smoking
Even quitting smoking can make someone dejected. Being dejected after quitting smoking is something more common than you think. Suddenly you don't know where to put your hands and that relaxing smoke break is no longer there. Your only moment of rest that still somewhat resembles this is getting coffee from the coffee machine and going to the bathroom.
So did you just quit an addiction? Then this may leave you feeling kind of lost which you then need to replace with a more relieved feeling that you are finally rid of that addiction.
Dejected after childbirth
Dejection after childbirth is something often caused by hormones. Especially after day 4, you may suffer from "childbirth blues." You get the overwhelming feeling that you may not be able to handle it all.
However, these blues are much less common in a home birth, which is why hospitals often change the setting in which you can get to know your baby.
Stopping dejection
If you know the cause for your dejection, such as insecurity or low self-esteem, you can, in turn, do a lot to stop being dejected.
Tip 1: Acknowledge that you are dejected
That you are reading this article is good news, because it means you are actually already implementing the first tip. Without acknowledging the problem, namely this negative mood, you are also not going to work toward a solution.
This leaves you anxious and perhaps even angry which has no good effects at all on your creativity, work and relationships.
Tip 2: Acknowledge that you are acting dejected
One of the first techniques you can apply to suffer less from dejection is to acknowledge not only that you are dejected, but that you are also dejected.
Doing is something that often happens in verbs.
You're thinking dejectedly.
You do lifeless.
You don't act excited.
By recognizing that dejection is also reflected in your behavior, you also recognize that you can change your dejected behavior. By acting differently, you can feel differently.
Tip 3: Smile and pay attention to your attitude
Emotions often affect your posture and facial expression. Fortunately, your facial expression and body posture also affect your emotions.
Smiling and really laughing out loud (fake) can really make you feel happier. Also, a more confident body posture, where you stand up straight with your chest out provides more confidence than if you just keep looking at your feet.
Tip 4: Be mindful about your thoughts
Many people think their thoughts show who they really are, but that's not true. To those around you and actually to yourself, what you do is important to your identity.
When your thoughts make you feel dejected because they are mostly negative. Is that important to recognize, because you can change your thoughts.
For example, notice that you think, "No one likes me." Then think to yourself "The people who like me I just haven't found yet."
Notice when you think, "I can't do anything." Then think to yourself "That's not true, because I can....write, clean and X, and X."
This will help you break through negative thinking and allow you to focus on what is going well in your life.
Tip 5: Help someone worse off than you
Do you find it hard to be grateful for what you do have? Then help someone worse off than you. Helping others is good for your self-esteem and this can also change your worldview.
You will find yourself becoming more grateful for what you have and more joyful just for helping other people. Your life will have a clear purpose as a result, making it easier to keep going.
Tip #6: Are you dejected by disappointment?
Examine whether you are dejected by disappointment. Disappointment is something that happens to all of us in life. You may be disappointed in love because of divorce. You may be disappointed because you lost your job.
You can also think of a major disappointment as a plot twist in your life. You didn't see this one coming for a moment.
Still, you need to move on again and regain your confidence in that part of your life. When you feel that you deserve more than what has happened to you, it is again very important to be mindful of your thoughts. It is important to accept the situation as it is and to take steps on your own to achieve (new) goals.
Tip 7: Find a hobby
Start doing something you enjoy doing. If you now think you don't enjoy doing anything at all, it's time to go on a quest. Try a new hobby every day or week just until you find something you like. This can include sports and art. So you can join soccer, or you can take up painting or even poetry to express emotions beautifully.
Scheduling me-time in which you do what you enjoy doing will already make you a lot happier.
Tip 8: Take a nap
Do you actually have way too much to do in a day and sit on the couch at night exhausted? Take a 30-minute nap when you get home, or on your break if you have the opportunity. The peace and quiet this brings can give you enough energy to be sociable to the other people in your home.
In the process, sleep deprivation is a major problem, which in turn often increases stress. Especially if you only sleep 6 hours a night, you can really add that nap. Take it easy!
Tip 9: Meet with friends and family
We humans are social creatures, so social contact is very important. Therefore, meet up with friends and family from time to time, even if only for a nice glass of soda in the garden or on the balcony (or go straight to an amusement park if you feel like it). It's all about the little things in life, then the big things will come naturally.
Tip 10: Move!
Walking is enough, but you can also think about dancing or yoga or just hitting the gym. When you move as a person, your body produces hormones that make you feel happy and satisfied. This can already reduce a little dejection tremendously.
Want to learn more about mental techniques to improve your mental state? Then come to a free online master class from the Hypnosis Institute Netherlands or read the book Break Free!
Pin this infographic as a reminder:
Sources:
https://www.frontiersin.org/articles/10.3389/fpsyg.2017.00470/full
