Family caregiver: Techniques to reduce stress and prevent overload

Nico Jacobs
April 12, 2017

To my shock, I found out a while ago that there are 3.5 million caregivers in the Netherlands. I think this is an incredibly large group in the Dutch care state and it shows that that state is leaving care more and more to the citizens after all. 2.6 million Dutch people work at least 8 hours a week as caregivers and 1.1 million Dutch people do this for more than three months. Surely this can cost you a whole working day or a day on the weekend, leaving you with less time to relax or less money to spend.

Mantel care is one of the toughest tasks you can take on, and because you are often caring for a loved one, it can also cause a lot of stress. That's why in this blog I'll go over what caretaking is, how to check if you're overburdened and what you can do about it.

What is informal care?

Being a family caregiver means that you take on caregiving responsibilities for someone close to you. For example, most family caregivers care for their parents. Then most informal caregivers care for an acquaintance, friend or even neighbors.

Caring may consist of doing the shopping and housework because the person you care for is no longer able to do so, but it can also go beyond that. There are also informal caregivers who help the person with showering, dressing, eating and taking their medications. This is already much more intensive than cleaning the whole house once a week because you are doing much more personal work.

Family caregivers overburdened

Because informal caregiving is often done out of love, there is a very real possibility that you will overburden yourself. After all, you want to give your parents, partner or child the best possible care, and as a result, you quickly run yourself ragged.

As a caregiver of someone who is chronically seriously ill, you are at risk for the following symptoms:

In addition, if you are a family caregiver, your physical health can also diminish.

Women tend to experience these symptoms faster than men, but these results may also have emerged because family caregiving is often left to women.

American research on caregivers for HIV patients shows that the more tasks a caregiver takes on, the more likely he or she is to become depressed. Stress is a major factor in developing this depression. It has long been known that prolonged stress can cause depression, which is why it is important to not only take good care of your loved one, but also of yourself.

The patient's behavior has a very significant impact on the level of stress on the caregiver. Research shows, for example, that caregiving for someone with dementia is mentally the toughest, and researchers also suggest that caregivers for people with dementia receive additional training in how to handle certain situations typical of people with memory problems.

Dementia can progress very unpredictably and this in particular is very stressful for the caregiver.

Physical limitations in patients are something especially tough for family caregivers caring for their partners to deal with. If adult children can help, this is a good idea, as they are significantly less affected by this than the patient's partner.

Positives of family caregiving

Mantel care is fortunately not all doom and gloom. Otherwise, millions of Dutch people would not be taking on volunteer care either. Research shows that informal care gives people a useful and necessary feeling. It also gives self-confidence in dealing with a crisis situation.

In the process, caregiving often strengthens the bond between the caregiver and the patient. This is often experienced as very valuable.

Caregiver overload measurement tool

Despite the positives of caregiving, it remains a tough "profession." Therefore, it is important to take a step back from time to time to check that everything is still going well with yourself. After all, you don't want to need a caregiver yourself.

Generally, they look at the caregiver's carrying capacity and whether it is more than the current carrying load.

Several questionnaires have been developed to check whether the carrying capacity and carrying load are still approximately the same. Usually such a questionnaire has 30 or so questions to properly check if you suffer from informal caregiving. Here you can fill out a small questionnaire for yourself.

  1. Do you feel like you have control over your current situation?
  2. Do you feel you have enough time for yourself?
  3. Is it difficult to plan due to the illness pattern of the person you care for?
  4. Do you feel like you're stuck in the situation when you're caregiving?
  5. Has your social life experienced changes due to caregiving?
  6. Feeling lonely?
  7. Do you feel that you are less financially secure than you were before caretaking?
  8. Have you ever been embarrassed by the behavior of the person you care for?
  9. Do you feel you are being manipulated by the person you care for?
  10. Do other family members appreciate the caregiving you do?
  11. Does caregiving make you feel good?
  12. Does the person you care for express gratitude in any form?

If you look at the answers and you have mostly answers that show positive feelings and traits, that's good, of course, but comes up mostly that you're not satisfied and that other people don't appreciate the effort you put into caregiving, then it may be time to take steps to protect yourself from stress and unhappiness.

Mantel care reimbursement tax authority

One of the biggest stressors for family caregivers is the financial side. Sometimes people start working less or you simply have extra expenses due to the caregiving responsibilities you take on.

Fortunately, the Dutch government has thought of this and rewards caregivers. Municipalities can reward caregivers, for example, and caregiving can also affect your income tax. Mezzo has a clear page indicating the financial compensation that is sometimes possible.

Combining work and family care

Especially if you care for your parents, it can sometimes be difficult to combine work and informal care. As a caregiver, you have rights to take a leave of absence. Your salary will be slightly lower, but your boss may not fire you.

It is very important to disclose at work that you have begun to care for yourself. Your boss and colleagues will then often be more understanding if you have to leave early or are tired.

Thereby, after such an announcement, you can also better consult with your boss about your work hours or saving up overtime for when you need to take unexpected time off. In the unlikely event that you have taken on too much and want to see a change at work, it will not come out of the blue.

It is important to make clear arrangements with your employer.

Therefore, always confirm verbal agreements via email so that you have everything in black and white. This prevents a lot of misunderstandings.

Reduce stress from caregiving

Caring for someone you love creates stress because you can sometimes be pressed for time and, of course, because you'd rather make the person completely better. Fortunately, there are things you can do to reduce the stress of caregiving.

Tip 1: Delve into the illness of the person you care for

Knowledge about an illness can do an awful lot to reduce fears about its progression. If your loved one is ill, it can make you very uncertain about the future. By learning more about it, you know better where you stand and, as a result, you often learn tools to deal with typical situations.

Tip 2: Use meditation to relax regularly

By meditating for 10 minutes daily, for example in your morning routine, you reduce the amount of stress hormones in your blood. This allows you to relax better while worrying and also reduces tension.

Tip 3: Use mindfulness when you are busy with family caregiving tasks

Surely it would be so wonderful if everything were different. This is a thought that may come to you when you are caregiving. You may be balking at how everything turned out and that can make you angry . Using mindfulness actually keeps your attention in the here and now. You feel, see and smell what you are doing and accept the situation as it is.

Keeping your thoughts in the here and now makes them less likely to wander into fantasy. A Buddhist once said, "A wandering mind is an unhappy mind." So usually those wandering thoughts don't make you happy.

Tip 4: Ask for help if you need it

Sometimes you have a dip yourself or just need to do something for yourself. It is wise to ask for help, preferably before it is needed, but when you feel you are going to need it. By having "back-up" caregivers, you avoid stress when you can't do something yourself for once.

Tip 5: Schedule me-time, too

Relaxation is important for everyone. Not only should the person you care for have a good time, you yourself should have enjoyable moments. Me-time is a good time to relax in the way you like. Walk, dance, paint, knit, read, exercise, whatever you enjoy relaxing. Schedule it. Even if it's just staring in front of you for an hour.

Want to learn more about mental techniques for dealing with stress? Then come to a seminar or check out Hypnosis Institute Netherlands' training courses.

Sources:

http://mantelzorgsteunpunt.nl/Hoeveel_mantelzorgers_zijn_er_in_Nederland_

http://www.atsjournals.org/doi/abs/10.1164/rccm.200604-493OC

http://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1111/j.1525-1497.2005.0073.x/full

http://web.a.ebscohost.com/abstract?direct=true&profile=ehost&scope=site&authtype=crawler&jrnl=0002838X&AN=3919259&h=hiM%2fNb8sJ9w2j6ZnBzIWmWVf%2fkezMOqBFVH80YFqGvvu%2bKpYul%2bEbt1IluKCnCjxaad%2bL45anTcLnrUlJzoI%2fQ%3d%3d&crl=c&resultNs=AdminWebAuth&resultLocal=ErrCrlNotAuth&crlhashurl=login.aspx%3fdirect%3dtrue%26profile%3dehost%26scope%3dsite%26authtype%3dcrawler%26jrnl%3d0002838X%26AN%3d3919259

https://academic.oup.com/psychsocgerontology/article/58/2/P112/557802/Associations-of-Stressors-and-Uplifts-of

https://www.researchgate.net/publication/281340344_The_Informal_Caregiver_Burden_Assessment_Questionnaire_validation_for_Brazil

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